How do you help an ADHD child?

United States
January 7, 2007 2:03pm CST
I have a 10 year old. He is in an emotionally handicapped class and is diagnosed with ADHD but the doctor does not feel he needs medication at this time. Everyday I receive a call from his teacher about his fighting, cursing etc.. I have had to pick him up on several ocassions due to behavior. He has been kicked off the bus on many occassion as well. His teacher feels he is severely emotionally disturbed. When he's home with me, he is very helpful and is the best behaved of my other two children. Yet whenever he goes out to play in the neighborhood or is in school, he is constantly fighting. I don't know what to do. I am exhausted with dealing with this and not sure what to do. If anyone has experience with this or is going through this I would love to here your thoughts. Even if you don't have experience I would love to hear suggestions on how I can help my son.
3 people like this
10 responses
8 Jan 07
Hi My son has also been diognised be adhd and he is on medication and i have to say i am exactly in the same boat as i am constantly being called into my sons school because of the problems that he causes I really dont know the best way of coping with this but i do know that please try and get as much help that you can, there are many support groups around that can help you,. My son is nearly 9 and i can totally understand on what you are saying but please believe me there is some good help out there good luck
• United States
8 Jan 07
Thank you for your response. I saw in a newspaper in my hometown of a support group for ADHD families that meet once a month. I am going to give this a try and see what else I can find. Good luck to you also.
11 Jan 07
thank you and i do wish you luck, it would be nice to know how you get on
• United States
8 Jan 07
A team effort, with parents, teachers and doctors working together, is the best way to help your child. Children who have ADHD tend to need more structure and clearer expectations. Some children benefit from counseling or from structured therapy. Families may benefit from talking with a specialist in managing ADHD-related behavior and learning problems. Medicine also helps many children. Talk with your doctor about what treatments he or she recommends.
• United States
8 Jan 07
Thank you.
• Singapore
8 Jan 07
think, try to explain to him that why is he doing those things?..try to talk to him about whats his Reason?..maybe his lack of attensions,..maybe he needs something but he couldnt get it that easily..
• United States
8 Jan 07
I've tried to talk to him but get no where. I will try to get my brother to talk to him. He always love to be around him so maybe he can help. Thanks for the response.
@lucy02 (5017)
• United States
8 Jan 07
I have heard that karate is excellent for children with ADHD. It couldn't hurt to try it.
• United States
8 Jan 07
Thanks for the response. He really does like that from watching movies.
• United States
8 Jan 07
Does your son have an IEP (Individualized Education Plan) at school? If not, I would ask that he be evaluated and have on drawn up. These are plans that protect children with physical and emotional disabilities from being discrimated against at school. If your son is protected by an IEP, then they can only send him home from school a certain number of days a year for conduct problems that are a manifestation of his disability without providing him alternative education. I would ask your pediatritian to refer your son to a neurodevelopmental specialist to have your son thoroughly evaluated for learning disabilities and a second opinion. ADHD meds don't have to be evil; they can give some kids back their childhood. I agree with the earlier poster that diet can play a huge part in helping kids with ADHD. I would start with a really good multivitamin that includes lots of minerals and a Omega 3 supplement, then work from there. There is a lot of material available on the web that explains how diet effects cognitive abilities, and what steps you can take to determine if this is an issue with your son. His behavior being so much worse at school could be a manifestation of anxiety if he has trouble sitting still or is struggling to learn at school. Getting him in to talk to a counselor might be a good idea as well. Good luck, and stay strong! You're a great mom for working so hard to make sure your son has the best school experience possible.
• United States
8 Jan 07
Thank you for your response. He currently has an IEP and I am in the process of having him reevaluated. The school and I feel that he may need to be placed in LD instead of EH. Thanks for the information about the multivitamin. This gives me something to try while going through the process of getting him to the doctor and possible diagnosis of medication. Thanks again.
• Philippines
8 Jan 07
Maybe you should take yourson toan occupational therapist. That i guess would be very helpful coz i too have a child with a behavioral problem. What i did, i sent him to an occuptaional therapist and you should also participate. They would advise you to have more time with him. Expose him to some occasion so he'll get used to it.
• United States
8 Jan 07
Great suggestion. I did not even think about that. I will definately get him set up with a doctor. Thank you.
@succed (879)
• United States
26 Sep 09
MY Step-son who is going to be 9 years old has been diagnosed since he was 2. He has been kicked in school many time while he was prekindergarten. Some school would not even want him after his multiple behavior at school. Doctor higher the dosage of his medication but that didn't help either. As a step-mom it is difficult for me to handle this. As he is not my real son. If I tried to discipline the kid because of his behavior he would quickly said "Mommy let me do this, Mommy let me do that". Mommy says this, Mommy says that". So what am I going to do. How could I discipline this kids. He has bad behavior issue. We can not take him to any socializing or any kind of activities because when he does he always ruins it. He always want to be the center of attention. And if he does not get the attention he needed he would do stuff making sure that everyone at the party will pause and look at him...and it happened over and over and over, I dont know how many times it has been. That's how bad he is. Now we can not even take him to any party anymore. He is a partyzila. So I feel for you. I myself need some help to cope with this. He lives with us 3 times a week only but he is too much to handle. Yes medication help but not much. His mother put him into many different activities just to east his hyper activeness, those will only help for a couple of hours. I am still doing my research. I want to help the kid. If you have any ideas, we could help each other or anyone. Email me i am open for any suggestion and help. thanks
• United States
16 Jan 07
We have a seven year old daughter with ADHD. We had to get the school board to put her through tests and give her doctor the evaluation sheets. Also her teachers and therapists wrote letters to the doctor. We didn't want her on medication, but now she is taking it, don't know how we ever lived without it. It makes a big difference. Call the school board to see if they will evaluate him on his behavior. All schools are suppose to do this only if requested. They won't do anything unless you push it. We know from experience.
@amby87 (322)
• India
13 Jan 07
god bless him
@SageMother (2277)
• United States
11 Jan 07
I understand how difficult this is for you. I worked on a fulltime bases with sudents that have the problems you and your son are suffering from, and still do the work on a part time basis. If your doctor is reluctant to provide relief then it might be time for you to find another doctor. It feels as if your physician is exercising his personal opinion. Ihave always felt that a good doctor will present you with options and then allow you to decide based on YOUR weighing the pros and cons of any approach, not his deciding for you. Haveyou checked online for support groups and other resources that might help you to find help? If you like, I can take a look around and get some links to you. Hang in there. You are doing the best you can. It is easy to feel that you are failingin situations like this, but you are not. These problems with kids are heart wrenching and there are people who just dont "get it". Keep telling yourself, at least 10 times a day, that you are a very special mother, who is learninga specialized type of parenting that few have the opportunity to understand. It is the truth.