Jokes from My email
October 1, 2006 8:29am CST
You sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies. - Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro. - Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket. - Your company logo on your badge is applied with stick-um. - You order your business cards in "half orders" instead of whole boxes. - When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie. - You get really excited about a 2% pay raise. - You learn about your layoff on CNN. - Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes. - You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet. - Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than all the Third World countries' annual budgets combined. - You think lunch is just a meeting to which you drive. - It's dark when you drive to and from work. - Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else. - Communication is something your group is having problems with. - You see a good looking person and know they're a visitor. - Free food left over from meetings is your main staple of your diet. - Weekends are those days your significant other makes you stay home. - Art involves a white board. - You're already late on the assignment you just got. Printer Friendly Version | Send this story to a friend | Back to Top Perfume Counter A teenage girl shopped at the mall and stopped at the perfume counter. She sees, "My Sin", "Desire", and "Ecstasy". She says to the salesperson, "I don't want to get emotionally involved...I just want to smell nice." Printer Friendly Version | Send this story to a friend | Back to Top Hubble Photograph of Distant Galaxies Colliding The New York Times, among other papers, recently published a new Hubble photograph of distant galaxies colliding. Of course, astronomers have had pictures of colliding galaxies for quite some time now, but with the vastly improved resolution provided by the Hubble Space Telescope, you can actually see the lawyers rushing to the scene. Printer Friendly Version | Send this story to a friend | Back to Top For The Kids... Doctor, Doctor I keep painting myself gold Don't worry it's just a gilt complex! Doctor, Doctor I've broken my arm in two places Well don't go back there again then! Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a dog. How long have you felt like this? Ever since I was a puppy! Doctor, Doctor I feel like a pack of cards. I'll deal with you later! Doctor, Doctor I think I'm turning into a frog Your just playing too much croquet! Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a yo-yo. Are you stringing me along! You Work in Corporate America If... Doctor, Doctor I dream there are monsters under my bed, what can I do? Saw the legs off of your bed!