Grandmother died -. and family split up!

@Marie2473 (8523)
Sweden
January 8, 2007 5:34pm CST
My best friends grandmother died, little over a year agp. By the time she died she was a rich lady and had actually changed her will and made my best friend the owner of almost everything. This ofcourse didn´t go well with the grandmothers daughter (my best friends mom) and she started a lawsuit. This is finally finished - the same week as xmas the ruling came and although my friend lost almost everything to the mother coz she just didn´t want it, she is happy.. But also sooo sad. A few months after the grandmother died she also gave birth to a beautiful baby-boy and that baby does not have a grandmother now coz the mother - who ended up beeing rich does not want them in her rich life. I do not know how to comfort my friend. Her mom has always been like this and my mom has been more of a mom to my best friend than anyone. Is there anything I can do, Other than beeing there for her?
5 people like this
27 responses
@shellyrios (1215)
• United States
9 Jan 07
It's unfortunate that your friends' mother is very selfish and I think she should just stick to her "true family" which is you and your mom. I just can't believe a mother would do that to her own child. If that were me, I would be so happy that my children inherited a business, I would offer to help out or work with them. I can't conceive the notion of ever hurting my children like that. She is lucky to have a friend like you.
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
9 Jan 07
I also can not understand why money should be so important. instead she should have been happy that her daughters life was safe forever and that she would always be able to support her and her son. But she had to have it all.
@kathy77 (7488)
• Australia
9 Jan 07
Oh dear this would of caused a problem between your friend and her mother, I know what it must of felt for the mother as my mother did this to me, but I did not fight my daughter and take out a lawsuit against her as she had looked after my mother when she was very sick, which took some years with the sickness that took her life in the end, but it is horrible when these kind of things happen, and I knew that one day my daughter would have a child like your friend has but this has kept us close due to me not fighting her ove the money in the court as I would of won the court case, for yourself it is best for you to comfort your friend and stay friends with her there is nothing much you can do for her but to be friends.
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
9 Jan 07
Thanx alot for this insight. be glad that u didn´t fight and that u still haev your daughter in your life, that is so much more valuble!
@sj_chaudhry (1538)
• Canada
9 Jan 07
i think you cant do anything more then that. just being there is all you can to pampering her and caring her. i appreciate that your mom really do cares her. this is best thing to know. wish you both best of luck.
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
9 Jan 07
Thanx for commenting
@coolcatzz (1589)
• Canada
9 Jan 07
I think that is all you can do is to be there for her and to have an open ear. She will just need to talk to someone to get all her feelings out. Families splitting up like this over money happens all the time, sad as it is. It's a shame but I guess all she can do now is move on with or without her so called Mom.
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
9 Jan 07
Thanx for your advice
@isasice (2015)
• Iceland
9 Jan 07
This couldn't happen in Iceland where I will since people are only allowed to give about a quarter of their inheritance to others than their legal heirs. If they have children, the rest (all if there is no will) will be devided equally between the children. If your friend lived in Iceland and his/her mother and grandmother also, the mother would have gotten 3/4 and your friend 1/4 of the estate. What most people do if they want to give someone more, is to prepare before they die and give it to them then. I know a lot of elderely people who live in houses they have already given to someone else. This is also done to cheat on the very high inheritance taxes in Iceland.
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
9 Jan 07
Ok, that is an interesting law. I do belive that we have a similar thing over here but it is not as much as 3/4. her situation is in another country though and there they have a rule that the mom should get atleast 1.000.000 NOK, but after that the grandmother can do whatever she wants!
@micheller (1366)
• United States
9 Jan 07
The best thing that you can do is be there for her. And I'm glad to hear that she atleast has someone to look to as a mother since hers doesn't want to have anything to do with her. Just feel greatful that your best friend has you and your mother.
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
9 Jan 07
Yeah I will be there for her, and so will my mom , thanx for your input!
@icequeen (2843)
• Canada
9 Jan 07
That is a shame..however she is lucky to have you and your family. You just need to be there for her...and that will help...sometimes friends are better than family....
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
9 Jan 07
Thanx alot for your comment!
@trysameer (219)
• India
9 Jan 07
hey dear....this is da general case with each and every family nowdayz...really its very bad to hear bout it...but we can't do anything for it..! as nothin is in our hands..! just we can take a resolution, dat we must not do like dat
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
9 Jan 07
Thanx for commenting!
• India
9 Jan 07
Tell ur mom to talk to ur friend. From wat u wrote, ur both like sisters. Just be by ur friend's side, and time will heal her wounds
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
9 Jan 07
Thanx for commenting
• India
9 Jan 07
I think, there is nothing to do because ur moms friend has taken an good idea of stop being rich. any way though it take some time for u friend to adjust to that life, it was good to him later on.
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
9 Jan 07
Thanx for your input!
@mgr1987 (689)
• India
9 Jan 07
just ask your friend to forget about his mom(she is not at all a mom)and make him look around the other areas of life and ask him to engage in a work that might remove the thought of his 'mom'.
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
9 Jan 07
Thanx for commenting!
@lauriefnp (5113)
• United States
9 Jan 07
What a sad situation, especially to have to go through it at the holidays. At least your friend has you to love and support her, and she still has your mom to love as a mother. Sometimes biology isn't the important factor, and someone unrelated is more of a mother than your own. And, a new baby is always a blessing, and he has you and your mom as "family" now. I would say that being there for her and supporting her is all that you can do; but I'm sure that it means more to her than you know. In time, she will accept the situation and move on. If her mother can live with what she's done, then let her live her rich life- ALONE! When she needs the love and support of her daughter, it may be too late for her. People do terrible things out of greed.
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
9 Jan 07
Yeah, Greed is a horrible thing, unfortunately it is very common =( I love my friend and I am trying to be there for her, and I know that she appreciate it. my mom has always been like a mom to her, ever since we were kids since her own mom alwaqys was on her own buisness. Anyways thanx for responding =)
@adnanmd2 (831)
9 Jan 07
Its better you be with her and luk after her so that she gets the sense that you are so gud friends she has got and she wuld rather feel luckky that she has got one of the friends like you.. Keep going.. all the best!!
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
9 Jan 07
Thancx for your comment!
@Deane_2005 (1645)
• Philippines
9 Jan 07
I will probably get sad if my grandmother will die. She is also a friend, mother and grandmother at the same time.just being there for her can make a big difference already, I guess your mom knowing your friend story is sympathetic only. Don't be alarmed by that. Just be their for your friend ,this is the time she needed you the most
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
9 Jan 07
I know that my mom is concerned, she thinks of her as her own daughter and always has. I am proud of my mother and I am proud that my friend manages to keep her head high and don´t let this destroy her!
@leonilyn (467)
• Philippines
9 Jan 07
money and inheritance can really ruin relationships. you already have done your part. being there for your friend is already a big help for her. your friends mom should not do that. even she sue your friend i guess youe friend will still win the case. for it she who is in the testament..
1 person likes this
• Australia
9 Jan 07
Wow this scenario is just way to common...if it were me i wouldnt want to be part of the mothers life if that is the kind of person she is...one day the mother who ended up rich will one day turn around and realise she has nothing, and the daughter will have everything being, You and your mum a friendship/relationship that is hard to come by. There really isnt much more you can do except be there for her and her bub. The world needs more people like you and your mum :)
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
9 Jan 07
yeah I think you are right. the mom will realise that she has nothing adn that she is all alone with her money. i do notsee the point in having alot of money if I have noone to share my life with =) Anyways I am sure she will be fine and she can atleast share my mom ;-)
@plantit1 (298)
• United States
9 Jan 07
Who needs a person like that in their life anyway. I wouldnt want my baby around someone like that. Your doing all you can for her. Just love her and the new one. She'll be fine.
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
9 Jan 07
That is true. I am guessing that her mother willbe the one regretting it in the end!
• India
9 Jan 07
it is too sad to hear about family
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
9 Jan 07
yeah, I know =(
• Canada
9 Jan 07
i think the only thinkg you can really do is be there for her. also your mother should be there for her to because now she just may need someone to feel the love from, it has to be hard. maybe you could try and talk to the mother of the girl to see if you could talk any sense into her, but by the way she sounds it dont look promising, have fun hope all goes okay.
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
9 Jan 07
yeah I am there for her and my mom also see her as one of her own so she is definately not alone in this!
• Ireland
9 Jan 07
I think all you can do is to be there for you, as you already are. I am sure she appriciates having such a caring and true friend. It is sad about her mother being more concerned about money and material stuff than the things that really matters in life, family. I am sure your friend will be ok, she has her own family now and a really good friend in you!
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
9 Jan 07
Thanx alot for your comment . It is just hard to watch someone you love hurt like this - but i will be there for her no matter what!