A widow with 4 grown up kids fell in love for the second time

@manong05 (5031)
Philippines
January 8, 2007 10:15pm CST
We had a school reunion a few years ago and one of our classmates shared her life story. She got married right after high school and after having 4 children the husband died. She managed to look after the children on her own being a teacher. Now in her early 50's she fell in love for the second time with one of her students who is 23 years younger. She told her children about this and they all laughed at her and told her "mother you will be a laughing stock in the neighborhood forget him, please" So, feeling ashamed of herself she broke up with the guy. She felt terribly sad after that and the recovery seems to be very slow. Did she do the right thing in following her children's request?
3 people like this
13 responses
• United States
9 Jan 07
Wow I can not even imagine the interests that these two would have shared, that is a big age difference I guess it may be different if the man was not so young. All I would think is that he has issues with wanting a mother figure. If she did not listen to her kids and end it as early as she did I think it would have been worse for her when he eventually ended the relationship, I just cannot see it working out for long. So I guess yes I think she did the right thing.
@manong05 (5031)
• Philippines
9 Jan 07
I agree with you and that's what most of us told her but deep down I feel sorry for her and I wished she should have gone for it and move to a new place where nobody knows them and start a life on their own.
• Canada
9 Jan 07
i totallya gree with above comment. she did the right thing beacuse if she broke up latere then it would be more devastating for her. she will get normal by the passage of time. i think she need more attention from her children.
@leanette (3004)
• India
10 Jan 07
Well sometimes you gotta think about yourself. The mom was definitely foolish as to let the man go so easily for the sake of her children who of course were more concerned about the neighborhood than the their mother's feelings. Shame on such children! The mother should have thought well before taking any steps. My mom is in her late forties and single and am waiting for her to fall in love again! :)
• China
10 Jan 07
I haav heard so many things about this.i fell nothing strange.if they love they could together.but the student should not say that.of course,i think he didnt think so much.
@hemtata (284)
• India
10 Jan 07
23 years age difference is to much for a married couple to adjust with each other. Therefore the children's advise to their mother was right considering the age difference.
@irisheyes (4375)
• United States
10 Jan 07
Her children's embarassment should not have been a factor. There may or may not have been a future for those two people. The sad part is they will never really know because of the selfishness of her children.
@killailla (1301)
• Canada
10 Jan 07
well I can not see why a 23 year old man would fall in love with a 50 year old woman in the first place, however her kids are just that, her children, they are not her parents, she is the one in charge and should do whatever SHE wants.
• United States
10 Jan 07
I think her children could have been nicer about it. But I think 23 years may be stretching it. She has to ask herself the hard questions. Would he want to take care of her when she got older? I mean face it when she is in her 80's, he'll be in his 60's. I guess in the end only she'll know if she made the right decision. But she can't put her life on hold for her children!
• United States
10 Jan 07
Nah, I don't think so at all. She shouldn't have listened to her kids, she should have listened to what her feelings told her. What her heart said.
@micheller (1366)
• United States
9 Jan 07
She did a good thing by listening to her children. But if you truly love someone then you should stay with the person no matter what the age difference is, unless it involves an under age child.
@zotopec (307)
• Pakistan
9 Jan 07
Well, I dont think it was such a shameful thing. I admit that such a relationship would have stood aloft for its being unique and rare, but then, Romeo Juliet is a rare sequence. If the guy was happy with her, she must not have been listened to anyone. Losing that guy, she chose to keep her family, maybe keeping that guy would have made her lose her family.
@1986ankush (1241)
• India
9 Jan 07
no there is no problem with falling in love .you can be in love 1000's of time.no age bar pls
@coolcatzz (1589)
• Canada
9 Jan 07
As sad as it is I'd say yes she did the right thing following her children's request. I don't think anyone should be lonely in this world and if someone has a second chance at love that is wonderful but the age thing just gets in the way here. It is too hard to have kids the same age as your boyfriend. It is much to ackward.
@ashishsab (498)
• Canada
9 Jan 07
Love sees no bars neither age nor anything else. Love is not done it happens itself when you meet the person you are / were looking for. Its good that she broked off the relation ship witht he too younger guy because if she would have taken it for longer it would have affected the life of guy as well. As far as her going into depresison is concerned due to this breakoff I think she can overcome it because its just matter of time. On the same time I think all the people around her should help her to be bold not to to laugh and make fun of it. One fact should be made clear to her that she broked the relationship for the betterment of the person she loved. Thats a good feeling which can help in overcoming from such depressions and thinking as far as feeling ashamed is concerned it should not be there because she didnt did anything wrong. She has a right to love anybody. She should be proud she loved a person and was bold enough to leave him for his betterment. Explain this to her am sure she will be out of this feeling of shame and depression