overseas working parents struggle to earn but a process of family longing

if only its bond to last forever - by moms side
Philippines
January 9, 2007 8:28am CST
its been a sacrifice for families who struggle just to earn and search for the greener pasteur and be away from home, missing their children, missing the family and the hometown.. this is specially for countries who are economically low., the people who sacrife just for greater money value... despite the needs being provided and given to the family, when they get home, they feel relieved but thinks of a greater part missing having site of children growing without witnessing it... how hard does it get for parents who work abroad? do some children inhibit this behaviour in which no guidance was given and results to problems like getting into drugs or having peer problems and have some society disorder, do working abroad gives a lot of disavantages to family memebers? like in the case of partners commiting adultery because of the absence of love? what is your view? what are the advantages and disadvantages can working abroad being far from family has? tell me your opinion...
3 people like this
19 responses
@mysiraylon (1106)
• United States
9 Jan 07
I would suggest that a strong foundation must be establihed for a relationship, prior to a any plan of temporarily moving away from each other for any reasons. They have to trust each other and avoid believing instantly to rumors... maintaining a constant communications while their apart surely will be of great help for the success of their relationships.
• Philippines
9 Jan 07
a very good response... but we cant avoid parents to sacrifice to earn better specially in third world countries, working abroad gives them higher pay.. thanks for the response..
• United States
9 Jan 07
That is very human in nature to parents... looking forward for the benefits of their children's education/future. In connection to this they really have to plan things before moving apart for that we are saying "greener pasteur", after all those that they may seeking in foreign land are only material things and can't be compared to strong family ties they might be putting at risks...
• Philippines
10 Jan 07
rsiwala, i do personally say its driven by financial and by the countries economic condition, most of the worlds over seas worker are filipinos, from care givers, nurses, doctors, carpenters, janitor, drivers, singers, entertainers, maids, engineers, architects, etc.... almost all of philippine population who graduated degrees, masterals, doctorate.. etc.. do choose to be working abroad than here in our country. so thanks for the reply, i do consider what you mean but i do hope you can get the picture of my parents' side as in a low salary condition in our country. have a good day.
@NancyLobo (681)
• India
9 Jan 07
You have posted a nice topic, an intresting one, yes families fall apart when one parents or sometime both go abroad to work. but it depends on the partners nature, if they are faithful and God fearing then they will not commit adultery. temptations will be there but if they have strong moral values then they will not succumb to it, yes for children it may be different they may need at least one parent to bring them up otherwise they can fall aprey to bad habits specially in their formative age, or at least a responsible relative should look after them. yes they miss all the years of children growing up but if they are really inneed of a job and cannot provide anything for the children then they have to go and work abroad and see that at least their children life is better than theirs they can give them good education and a better lifestyle.
• Philippines
10 Jan 07
thats really fair nancy, i do hope partners are god fearing, most married partner when out from the husbands/wives' eyes, will be tempted to give in to temptations... i personally saw a lot of situations like this when the one working abroad does return, to such surprise seeing their partners fooled and cheated them.. a sad thing. thank you nancy. most of you here, i gave you plus..
• Greece
10 Jan 07
i dont think so nancy. people will be tempted yes, but it varies from person to person. i know so many people who are living single abroad. most of them my relatives(LOL.. cousins). even my dad was abroad for sometime.
• India
10 Jan 07
Ya, it is exactly true what you have mentioned. Parents struggle hard to earn for the survival of their children. But due to lack of intimacy with them as you said they are prone to various mis habits or other. Parents sacrifice for children and inturn in some cases, childrens least bother to take care of their older parents. It seems there is no solution for this and same continues generation after generation.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
10 Jan 07
there is a temporary solution, relatives closer to the family can act and do fill the emptiness to lost and lonely children.. sharing their time and caring love will heal the deep wound thus this can stop some bad habits and will develop some help in them. however, it is only temporary.. i can say parents love, presence and care are completely different and deeper in childs impact than of just aunts and uncles.. but at least it does help.. thanks.. have a good day.
@joonbc (16)
• Philippines
10 Jan 07
to be far away from your loved ones is really a struggle. a hard struggle for both the parents and the children. yes it is an advantage to be in a greener pasture, because you can provide food and almost everything your family would need back home. and it is also a disadvantage just because you can't be there when your family needs you most. in case of sickness, and even in times of despair. you just can't support your family with money but most importantly is your presence when it is needed most by anybody in your family. yes there are the great means of communication provided by technology but then it is never enough. a hug, an embrace, a kiss, a get-togethert is still something that makes the relationships really strong for families.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
10 Jan 07
thank you, i do feel the response really deep within my heart. i gave you all plus..^_^
@dejiflow (128)
• Nigeria
9 Jan 07
It is really tough when families are far apart, due to economic and financial considerations. However things are much better now, since the world is a global village. E-mails, phone calls, picture messaging... all make it easier now to keep in touch. As for not committing adultery when your spouse is overseas, it takes self-discipline and the grace of God.
• Philippines
10 Jan 07
both of you have a wonderful point.. thanks. it is indeed of helpful to communicate but of the faith and the control of the partner shall be most of the importance to hold on to a very mutual relationships.. have a good day.. plus for most of you here.
@hazeter (671)
• Philippines
10 Jan 07
usually here in the Philippines, mostly all people want to travel abroad to work and earn money for family. Me also, if i have a chance i will do it. But sad to say many has become rich but there children seems not to understand what they are doing. Childrens just think that there parents dont love them. Becoz they are not there at there side. But hope they realize that there parents is working hard for them. If they dont do it, what is there life probably now?
• Philippines
11 Jan 07
thats whats the conflict between all of the money in return, sometimes i personally sympathized the parents. thanks for the response.
@kathy77 (7488)
• Australia
10 Jan 07
Yes it would be a big sacrific for these families, but they have no other choice but to leave their families for awhile so they can try and get on their feet as they say, I do not think a lot of these children would have the same problem as bigger worldwide countries, as their would not be so much trouble in their countries like ours, oh I do believe that a lot of the parents would have trouble with their partners committing adultry.
• Philippines
10 Jan 07
thanks kathy... me too, as i have seen other relationships just go down to drain because of cheating while away and working abroad.
@usman400 (1588)
• Pakistan
10 Jan 07
You are very right, infact earning is a big problem that drag ppl outside their home all the way form their homealnds to no mans's land :P
• Philippines
10 Jan 07
yes, of searching for a better life ahead... sometimes life is so cruel..^_^ have a good day.
@martzkie (110)
• Philippines
10 Jan 07
I think the advantage for working abroad is your family will be fiancially stable. You can give your kids a better future. But, if you cannot guide your kids as they grow up they may be going in the wrong path. They had the money to buy what they want. It will depend on the parent who is taking care of the kidz while the other parent is working abroad. Adultery issue will depends on how stron is the foundation of the relationship of the couple when they are together. We have now the technology like internet, chats, mobile as a medium of communication to our family to cover-up or lessen the disadvatages of working abroad. You may not be there physically to your kidz but still it is possible to talk and see them anytime you want using this technologies.
@fujin1985 (684)
• Philippines
10 Jan 07
i know one who went abroad, leaving his family behind. unfortunately, his wife was not good in handling the money he sent home. now, he just doesn't acknowledge them because of the misery his wife caused. they separated. the kids are the ones very much affected by their parting.
@god_spear (498)
• Philippines
10 Jan 07
Working in other country to earn money is i think a very painful experience,here in our country there was what we call overseas workers they went to other places to work because ther were no job here,and besides the salary is much higher there, there were advantages and disadvantages first the way of life of families who work to earn higher salary is much better in term of financial status,like when the compensation is in dollar if they remit it here it will be 50X the equivalent of our currency here. Also it helps to improve our economy since they bring dollar here in our country, Disadvantages were the parents cannot guide they,re children properly since they were in other country, there were countless family problems that arises when they were far apart. But one thing they shoul do they must be strong when a father or husband are going to work abroad so that when something goes wrong they can endure it.
• India
10 Jan 07
they are losing a family life and there kids need them really badly.
@opinder (423)
• India
10 Jan 07
working away from home certainly involves some disadvantages; whether its about unavailability of good food or transportation problem. as far as adultery is concerned...the spouse need not work abroad in order to be cheated upon. that happens even if the spouse works in the same city. children certainly get affected adversely due to lack of proper knowledge and less developed minds. but parents can avoid serious problems by trying to explain to the kids that their prime concern are the kids. kids should not be led to believe that they have all the liberty and all the resources at their disposal.
• India
10 Jan 07
For single person it suits but if one has a family left far away in the home country it is very troumatic and causes serious problems. Children need the attention of both the parents. For a wife to remain away from husband for years together is painful and mean. One can not expect her to be faithful.
• India
10 Jan 07
PARENTS working overseas might have earned a lot money but are losing there family. wht is the life in real sense? working, working & just working for money is not a life . Life is that when all family members resides together under one roof to share sorrows and joys of their life, so parents losing their family while working abroad overseas.
@cuddleme01 (2728)
• Philippines
10 Jan 07
i think the separation is the sacrifice that parents working abroad make. it's not easy to be separated from your family. But this is the sacrifice needed to better provide for their family and give them a better life. Sad, but this has been the plight of some parents. in an effort ease the pain of separation, advancement of technology can now be used to address this problem, but then this does not substitute for their actual presence. nonetheless, the family left behind should know and understand the situation well. They should support the parents or loved one who works abroad. bridge the gap by constant communication and showing of love in every simple, short conversations. And always value what they have done, given, bought, out of the salary they get from earning in a foreign land.
• India
10 Jan 07
Yes do aggree with u. But have u ever realise what happens when we starve for money. Especially in India we struggle & struggle for earning money. Also do u know an average engineer, doc, or any professional hardly can earn 15k to 20k per month. Have u ever seen breaking of our childrens ambition & then requirements, their dreams etc. At the sametime i see that for money we leave every thing see actually todays GOD is money this is what we humans have made it like that so each & every person is running on money. & u as well as so dontu u thing we only have made these things & know we only feel sorry for that. So its justified that there is no harm in going abroad & workin bcoz we only have made this trend so now we cant regret it. Did u get it my dear friend.
@anne_143god (5390)
• Philippines
10 Jan 07
I feel so sad if theres a lot of the kids of overseas workers who hook on some vices and bad peer group because their parents are not with them. I know alot of them who acted like a rich and dont realize the sacrifice of their parents.
@kfg20012003 (1037)
• India
10 Jan 07
working overseas can help to earn a lot,but they all will miss the love and affection of children and parents..may be it will be a better idea to take the children along with them after they earn a lot