how to recover from the loss of a love one

@bjsmel (97)
United States
January 9, 2007 10:01am CST
I know we have all gone throught the loss of a love one but I would like to know how you have handled this. I lost my father in Feb 2000 and the void is still in my life. I know I will never forgeat him and I think of him every day and yes, I was a "daddy's" girl but let me know how each of you that read this have handles these situations. I think your responses would be a help to all of us because if you have not gone through this, you will reach a point that you will. I still have my mom and I have a wonderful husband of 44 years and a son who is still a bachelor after one divorce and I have no grandchildren.
5 people like this
19 responses
@Acts238girl (2088)
• United States
9 Jan 07
i'm sorry to hear about your loss.i lost my dad in july 2000 to cancer.i know how you feel.i try to think of my dad as much as possible.i know some people will tell you to try to get your mind off of him.i personally don't think that is good advice.because your memories is all you have now.i like to look at family photos and videos of my dad.i really don't think theres anything that will fill the void in your heart but have tried maybe getting a animal that you could take care of to kind of occupy your mind a little.you would be surprised how that helps.another that helped me was getting in church.i'm not saying your not because i don't know but the Lord can really help fill the void.if it wasn't for him i would have done gone crazy.i hoped i helped a little.
@bjsmel (97)
• United States
9 Jan 07
Oh and I have such good memories of my dad and I have his picture everywhere. i am looking of a small one here on my computer desk. Without those memories it would be hard to cope. And yes, the Lord has helped me through many a bad day both with the loss of my dad and the everyday problems of life. Keep up your work work and you will be blessed.
• India
10 Jan 07
Its really hard to recover from the loss of a love one . I am a 16 yr guy who is living in India . I had a friend who now has shifted in Canada . He was my best friend . We knew each other so well . We were like brothers and cared for each other .We are still in-contact through phone and internet but we are really missing each other. Its really hard to forget him .
@bjsmel (97)
• United States
10 Jan 07
Don't ever try to forget him. The world is really a small place. Stay in touch and who knows, maybe the two of you will have a reunion one day. Thanks for writing.
• India
10 Jan 07
dear, no one can forget his/her father/mother/brother etc. but u can do one thing, u try to be a person like ur father, u think about ur father's likes and dislikes, what was favourite things of ur father?, what was dreams of ur father?, u just try to complete that/those dream(s), u change ur nature and be like ur father. therefore u will get pleasure in ur life, ur heart will feel better, and u think that ur father had not gone, he has around me, and u will never feel sorrow, sadness in ur life about ur father. have a nice day.
@bjsmel (97)
• United States
10 Jan 07
Thanks for your comments. I do remember all the good times and there were so many. I am lucky. I had him for so many years.
@drmt57 (295)
• United States
10 Jan 07
i have lost many love ones i lost my mother, then about 3 years later i lost my baby brother, and about 2 years later i lost my sister and brother exately one month apart 3 years ago, and last year i lost another brother and all between that time i have lost other family members, friends and love ones. i got through it by holding on to the good memories of things we did and shared together. i also found comfort in the word of god. your dad has crossed over hopeful to a better place so have mine, i am sure his desire for you is to be happy and live and enjoy your mom and husband, one day you shall meet again.
@bjsmel (97)
• United States
10 Jan 07
yes, I agree but you have had your share. You know the old saying "God will not put more on us than we can bear". You must be one more strong person.
• United States
9 Jan 07
i feel what you feel and i hope i can help but i will need it my only wish to die before my kids coz i will not able to handle it if it happened
@bjsmel (97)
• United States
10 Jan 07
Oh, I agree with you whole heartly. It is not natural for a parent to outlive their children but so many have this unbearable pain to endure.
9 Jan 07
I lost my younger brother recently in a car crash. We were very close. Its been almost a year now and I dont remember much about the last year so don't know how I am coping with it. I do appreciate the rest of my family more now and realise how important it is not to take them for granted as you never know when something like this will happen again. I am sorry to hear about your loss and thanking for posting it as I have been helped by reading some of the comments as well.
@maru_047in (1007)
• India
9 Jan 07
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@bjsmel (97)
• United States
9 Jan 07
oh, thank you. I have already requested you as a friend. Thank you for asking. Your are great. I love your Angel.
@nangel78 (1458)
• United States
9 Jan 07
I lost mother almost 3 years ago. Not a day goes by that I do not think of her. I keep her in my heart and with me pretty much. I know she is in a better place now and not suffering from cancer anymore. I just lost my great grandmother as well to cancer.
@bjsmel (97)
• United States
9 Jan 07
Thank you so much for your response. My prayers are with you. Life can be hard but you are riht, they are in a better place. Always keep them in your heart.
@kiran511 (22)
• India
10 Jan 07
i dont know what to say, but i will in the same position in the future. it means i leaving(completing) my college with in one year. a best friend in my class who is my roommate also. i like him very much. we need to go in our own directions of our lifes. so i dont to think about that moment when i leave him... sorry
• Ireland
10 Jan 07
I lost my uncle in June 05 and it left a really big void as he was like a second father to me. It really does hurt but i find that when im down or sad and i talk to him or remember things we did it helps a lot. Mostly i just ask him to give me a kick and tell me to snap out of the humour because i know he would be disgusted that i get upset. I also talk about him a lot and i think this makes other people uncomfortable but it is my way of dealing with his parting
@babray06 (1787)
• India
10 Jan 07
Sometimes I question myself that is it necessary to recover from the loss of someone you love? What is life if I don't have my dear ones with me? It is very difficult to carry on but we have to accept the truth. I believe one can still feel the presence of those who has passed if we think about the happy moments we have spent earlier and think about them.
• Philippines
10 Jan 07
Well, acceptance matters the most. We should prepare ourselves that one way or the other, we or our loved ones should leave this world, the thing is who would go first? It is the one left behind that suffers the most grief and pain. I think we should think that wherever our loved ones be, they might be very happy because I believe that in the next life there is no more pain and suffering. I lost my father when I was ten and my mom when I was twenty. But I take comfort knowing that God is always with me.
@Shaibor (60)
• India
10 Jan 07
losing alove one is painful but it has to happen and everbody experience it.its the call of nature and the appoinment of God for his good to have eternal rest with Him.to forget him is a bad idea and not to think about him is even more serious.the only thing thats can fill this void is Love .love overflows and love always prevails. things might not last events, might not tooo but love is from eternity.and this when fills your heart will never void.thanks.
@Shaibor (60)
• India
10 Jan 07
losing alove one is painful but it has to happen and everbody experience it.its the call of nature and the appoinment of God for his good to have eternal rest with Him.to forget him is a bad idea and not to think about him is even more serious.the only thing thats can fill this void is Love .love overflows and love always prevails. things might not last events, might not tooo but love is from eternity
• India
10 Jan 07
someone told me soemthing so great once , which i never forget...n which is a heal-all panacea. "whenever u have problem , don't recognize it, dont analyse it, dont understand it- just " avoid" it. accept the reality. let life flow the way it is do u know that great Indian actor shahrukh khan lost his mom-dad both smwhere in '92...became an orphan ,still he soared to such hieghts...he is the most popular actor in India.
@usman400 (1588)
• Pakistan
10 Jan 07
As the time passes every one forgets about their loved ones, but when major holidays/annversiers come, we just rememeber then indirectly and un-intentionally, this is human's humble with each other
@zaratoga (83)
• Indonesia
10 Jan 07
Sorry to heard about your loss. I was also lost my father once I will go marry around one month before wedding due to lungs cancer. It was make me painfull indeed and I do not think that I can go over it. I'm lucky that I still have my candidate husband and family were helping me much to get up from my pains. I was also in positive thinking that one day I'll meet him and believe Lord did not ever give us the pain more than our ability. I'm believe he will attend my wedding from the heaven.
@18111983 (66)
• Bangladesh
10 Jan 07
i have also lost my mother in 2005.i was also my mom's daughter.i have father,sister,niece,brother in law & husband.i always miss my mom too.but i always think that we have to leave the world one day.so my mom leave the world first.i also have to go to her.i always think that she loved god so now god must be take care of her so she will be very happy there.this is my believe.it helps me to recover my pain
• United States
10 Jan 07
I understand how you feel. I lost my grandmother in Dec 2002, it is still very hard because she rasied me since I was about 2 years old. My mother was in my life, but had to work so hard to support me and my grandmother that she was never really able to send time with me. I still have not gotten over it, and I don't think we ever do. Just remember he is in a better place now and one day you two will be reunited. Think positively and always keep him in your heart. This is how I get through each day.