How long should I wait?

United States
January 9, 2007 2:31pm CST
I have been liveing with my boyfriend for 3 years now. Im waiting for him to "pop the question". I just watched my older cousin get married. And she told her man before I'm 30 or not at all. Well she just turned 29 last year so I guess he listened. Should I do the same or just wait anf see if he is going to ask?
2 people like this
16 responses
@wmaharper (2316)
• United States
10 Jan 07
I don't know, that's a hard one, because part of you wants it to be romantic and sweet.. but another part of you problably wants to know if he even wants to get married? Maybe you should ask him, tell him upfront that you are not trying to pressure him and that you are not saying he needs to pop the question tommorrow or anything, but ask him if he ever intends on asking you to marry him? If he thinks thats where your heading.. you have been together long enough for him to know.. if he doesn't know yet.. he's never going to ask.. Good luck!
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Jan 07
Yes it is hard.
@BlaKy2 (1475)
• Romania
10 Jan 07
Why don't you ask him about the marriage thing? i think it's better to to so, you'll be very pleased with the answer...i'm sure!
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Jan 07
Yeah maybe.
@aidonia (4210)
• Greece
10 Jan 07
That he has kid doesn't mean he will not married again.By the way how it was him life with him kids mother?Did he was married to her?Maybe this experience make him worry about get married again.Try to took with him this is always the best answer to our ploblems.Good luck.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Jan 07
He was never married before.
@sedel1027 (17854)
• United States
9 Jan 07
If you think he is ready for marriage (ie you have discussed it and he is cool with the idea) you could always propose to him and you could go shopping for a ring together after the fact. If you haven't discussed marriage or you know he isn't ready, then I would steer clear of the subject because bringing it up will just cause problems.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Jan 07
we have talked about it. Lol i mught just do that.
@ILANEDRI (1922)
• Israel
9 Jan 07
I think you should wait for him to "pop the question" as you said. He only get nervice if you do what you cousid did. Let time do is own. You can try ask your boyfriend when he wants to get married, how many kids he want and that's probably will make him think more serious about this, and about you as a couple. Be patient and i'm sure you'll be satisfied in the end. And if your boyfriend really think that you two needs to be together, he will prupose. Good luck :)
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Jan 07
Yes that is not a bad idea. By the way we already have 3 kids.
@saphire539 (1641)
• United States
11 Jan 07
I would talk to him and let him know how you feel and see what he says.It's better to know if he ever intends to marry you or not i think 3 years has been long eneough to wait.
1 person likes this
@sunita64 (6473)
• India
21 Jan 07
I feel one day you can just start a discussion on marriage and know his views, some men are shy in proposing, so this may give him a chance to pop up the question.
@gigarange (1165)
• United States
21 Jan 07
I understand how you feel but if i were you, I would just wait, i don't want to pressure him because it would surely affect the marriage later. It would be better if he would marry you because he feels that he is ready to all responsibilities. If you can't wait no more, maybe you can think it over and decide what you wanna do in your life.
• Malta
21 Jan 07
Wait for him to ask first. It all depends if you are ready or not
• India
21 Jan 07
yes wait a little more
@moonmage (148)
• United States
21 Jan 07
Well, I don't think putting pressure on him is a good idea. However, you both should be able to talk together about what you want out of the relationship. I would put it in such a way that you are ultimately wanting to get married rather than just living together because you want to stay with him. You have to ask yourself if you're willing to stay with him whether or not if he doesn't want to ever get married. If you've been waiting three years, he may think that you don't care about getting married. If he doesn't know what you're thinking or what you want, how is he supposed to even be entertaining the thought of marriage?
• Andorra
21 Jan 07
I think you should wait. It's up to the man to ask you in marriage and I don't think you should force him into doing so.
@crystal8577 (1470)
• United States
21 Jan 07
Well I would not pressure him or give him an ultimatum. I would let him know that you are ready to get married though. Then sit back & let him ask you. You have to decide how long you are willing to wait. My sister-in-law waited for 10 years. There is no way I would be able or willing to wait that long.
@mishang (499)
• Philippines
21 Jan 07
If you really cannot wait for him to ask you that question, the best way I guess of teeling him that is by asking or talking about that subject heart to heart with your man. Ask him things that concerns your relationship and slowly shift the conversation to marriage. It also is important to hear his side out. You see, he might be pressured when you oblige him for a marriage, so also know his side of the story, but also tell what you strongly feel about it. Talk things out, it really helps.
@jenbatres (800)
• United States
15 Jan 07
Why not drop the hint about marriage? say something like when I get married I would like . . . . You wouldn't have to do this directly to him, but talk to someone within his ear shot. He will quickly get the hint, and it will open doors for the two of you to talk. Best of luck
• Philippines
14 Jan 07
yeah! why not try doing what your cousin did. give him a little more time then put an ultimatum. he might realize that it is not ok with you to be living in forever. then you would know that he has really sincere plans of marrying you soon & spending the rest of your lives together. having three kids in 3 years of living in is a serious matter. just hope your not considering again a fouth one unless you are married. :) so, give it a deep thought. pray for guidance. good luck.