Getting out of a physically abusive relationship

United States
January 10, 2007 8:32am CST
Why is it so hard to see the truth when its right in front of you? I was in a terrible relationship that went on for too long. 2 years in to it, respect was gone; 3 years into it we still had kids, 5 years in to it, i said to myself stay because of the kids. 8 years in to it, i realized i wasn't alive inside; 10 years later I broke that chain. Now I see things alot clearer. But why do humans tend to settle for what they know? Some of us lose the will to live because we want the kid to have everything they need. when i recognized my spirit dying, I told myself to get up and fight for my life. I chose to take care of me, so I can take better care of the kids. So tell me how did you overcome a bad relationship? I started my journey by making a plan to break the chain. It wasn't easy though.
4 responses
• Philippines
15 Jan 07
Its very hard to get out of this kind of realtionship...To be able to get out you have to be strong and try to love yourself more. Saying goodbye to a life you have is never easy. I think Its pure mindset. YOu have to tell yourself that you dont deserve any of this abuses and that you deserve a better life. You deserve a better partner. Its all up to you. You have to be strong. " Life is what you make". Having an abusive relationship is not good for you and and for your kids. They might be traumatized. YOu have to think of yourself...In this case I think you have done your part.you gave your partner a chance to change himself and yet things has never changed.
1 person likes this
@cool1girl (248)
• India
20 Jan 07
I am saddened to read your story more so as it is so similar to mine.I married an abusive man-2yrs into it i had a child,7yrs into it my spouse thought and was certain that i will stay that i was asked to entertain his mistresses,i said no,and that was the time when he made it clear in simple words that he did not care about me even one bit.i realised my mistake too late,i was financially dependent,with a chid i couldnt leave and an extremely abusive husband-i decided to quit and fend for myself-the going hasnt been easy,am still looking for work,but the spirit remains,i will not go back
• India
20 Jan 07
I have posted a similar discussion-if you wish you can check it out!
@nijawife (43)
• Nigeria
5 Feb 07
You are not alone,most women are unhappy in their marriage but for the security it provides,we can not leave.I empathise with you beause iam there and i know how its and the feeling of that what the hell but we consider our kids,friends and all it involves to run a home alone.Iam still there and hoping things change but belief me,i know it can never change except by divine intervention but iam afraid of the wilderness.
• Philippines
5 Feb 07
i undestand what you went through. Sometimes battered women don't want to make waves. They hope someday their husbands are going to change. THis never happens. It's good that you broke the chain even before your husband could think of other ways to punish you.