back in the days

@thatmom2 (126)
United States
January 10, 2007 8:46am CST
what happened the to the mother who stayed home to take care of her children? the woman who cooked every night, and made sure that her husband had clean clothes to wear to work? is she still out there, or am I outdated? I for one am one of them, although i am at the tender age of 29. would i be wrong if i instill this on my daughter? and teach my son to expect this from women? anyone out there, i would love to hear your suggestions/comments
5 people like this
17 responses
@patrice7 (1192)
• United States
10 Jan 07
well.. i think that it is good to tell your daughter and advise her about it but dont force her to do it if she doesnt want to because your daughter might rebel on you. see women and men must be respected and served equally. if you teach your daughter to do just that then men nowadays will tend to abuse her. women also nowadays have jobs and they cannot cater to the needs of their husbands like women of the old times who stays at home. thats what i think...
2 people like this
@thatmom2 (126)
• United States
10 Jan 07
yeah i agree. no i would force it on her, because i believe that little girls tend to fall in the footsteps of there mothers, like little boys do with there fathers. but i would extend to her that no you dont have to make the man your only position in life, but dont ignore him either. we all get so caught up the outside world, and our homes are slowely disintergrating. some not all though. i give much credit to the sisters out there, who can hold down the fort, and work out of the home, definantly. you can take that away from them. but i know alot of women who actually stay at home with there children allday, maybe work from home, and still dont do half the things in the house. they dont cook, or clean. i mean if you are in the home, then it mind as well be done. maybe im just an old fashioned thinker. who am i jokin, lol, by the time my daughter gets of age, EVERYTHING will probably be different......hmmmmm. but i appreciate your comment though..smile.
1 person likes this
@mdilan (803)
• United States
22 Jan 07
I have a BA degree and I'm not working for now, because I am taking care of the kids. But my husband knows taking care of the kids is not easy and many times he helps me to cook, wash clothes, and clean. I think there is nothing bad in that. Just teach your daughter (suggestion) that her husband can help at home too.
2 people like this
• India
10 Jan 07
I THINK YOU ARE A VERY SWEET AND CARING WIFE A VERY RESPONSIBLE MOTHER .... AND I THINK UR HUBBY MUST HAVE DONE SOMETHING GOOD TO HAVE YOU
2 people like this
@sizzle3000 (3040)
• United States
22 Jan 07
I am not exactly a stay at home mom. I like to have nice things and that takes two incomes. I wanted a nice house in the country so my daughter could grow up with a nice your in a good neighborhoor. This also takes two incomes. My mom was a stay at home mom with me and I did not learn nothing. I never learned to cook because she did all that. I did have chores but who doesn't. My mom was great to help me with my daughter so I could work. My husband is very supportive of what ever I choose to do. My daughter is sixteen and part of her life she had a stay at home mom who did all the cooking and cleaning and the other part of her life she had a working mom. I have told her that what ever she wanted was great. If you want an old fashion marriage that is fine. If both parties are happy with that. I also feel that a non traditional home is good too. A home where everyone helps out with the cooking and cleaning. I did not push either way to my daughter I just showed her both ways. We all raise our kids as we think we should. They do not come with a manual. We do the best we can and hope for the best. YOur way of being a mom and wife is not wrong but it is not for everyone. Don't push any issue just let her see how happy you are in your role and let her know that this is one of many ways to live.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Jan 07
I strive to be that woman as well, and teach my daughter to be, and my sons to expect it. I don't have the opportunity to take much care of my husband right now, as he's a trucker and gone 2-3 weeks at at time. I don't always get dinner cooked every night but that is my goal.
@crystal8577 (1470)
• United States
7 Feb 07
I do think it is wrong to teach your son to expect a woman to wait on him. I think he needs to know & be willing to take care of himself. I also would disagree with you instilling this in your daughter. She needs to learn to be able to take care of herself & make her own choices. If she wants to stay home & take care of the house & kids that is fine. She should not be made to feel as though it is expected of her though.
• Australia
7 Feb 07
I am one of those ppl who stay at home take care of the lil and make sure my partner has clean clothes. Cept sometimes he gets anoyed if the house isnt clean. I tell him the house isnt clean because our son was in one of those moods where he doesnt want to be put down all day. see he doesnt belive me sometimes as when he gets home Ben (our son) is happy as. So you see why sometime he doesnt belive me. It also depends on the men or women and what they expect of the house when they come home. If i was a male i wouldnt expect the house to be spotless just clean enough to feel at home. Like the washing done so we have clean clothes and the dishes clean thats all id expect.
• United States
3 Feb 07
I think many families can't afford to live that way anymore. Most families depend on two incomes. I also stay at home and it is hard, but I do it because I want to be there with my children. If I had had a real "career" before the kids, I may have wanted to go back to work, but I had a "job". There's a big differnce. I'm lucky and grateful to be home with our kids, although it does take some sacrificing.
@mansha (6301)
• India
3 Feb 07
Well That women is buried deep in to debts her drunk husband left her when he went and married off that other women he met. Do teach your daughter this but do your daughtetr in law a favor, don't teach your son to expect thsi from his wife. Rather teach him to help around the house and take care of his wife and kids. You are outdated women and I hope your daugfhter is not like you. She will face a life of a doormat if she ever became like you. teach her that she must keep her house clean adn cook for family but should not let men rule her life and destroy her self respect too.
@Bee1955 (3886)
• United States
1 Feb 07
If a husband can support his family on his income, then you'll see wives staying home to cok, clean, etc. However, its a 2 income world we live in today to just get the basics- shelter, food and healthcare. On the other hand, many want careers a and probably have been raised to get "something to fall back on". I'm afraid with so many divorces leaving women penniless with a family to feed, most rather start work early, before something happens to their spouse.
@WAHSIS (216)
• United States
1 Feb 07
unfortunately those Leave it to Beaver days are gone. In order to live comfortably these days it takes 2 parents working. Back then it was not like that. I think my Mom paid 13,000.00 for her house. Back in 1955. Things were cheaper then. Today things are high and stay at home moms became a thing of the past.
@jude79 (58)
• Australia
1 Feb 07
I am one of these mothers. I was however planning on going back to work 9 months ago, but I found out I was pregnant with our 2nd son. So I am the one who stays home...cooks, cleans and looks after our son, while waiting for the 2nd one to come along. I am planning on teaching our sons respect for women and on how to treat a female. If I were to ever have a daughter I dont know if I would teach it to her though as I had always been indepentant and had refused to be a males slave...oh how things have changed. lol
@nishanity (1651)
• India
28 Jan 07
there are still women who love being housewives... i dont know why but most people(including me) think that being a housewife is kinda demeaning... i cannot picturize myself doing it... but i have a small respect for the ladies for give their entier life for it!! my mom is one!
• Canada
28 Jan 07
C'est Moi !! That's me. I'm 24, married and have 2 kids that I stay at home with. I do the cooking, cleaning, child rearing.. I'm the typical 50's wife, and I like it that way.. I'd have to say so does my husband. He goes to work 5 days a week full time, and makes sure that our financial needs are met, and the rest is my responsiblity.. I think it's the way it should be. The way I see it.. I had kids for ME to raise, not someone else, so I wanted to stay home with them, and from there, the arrangement was made, and we're both happy with it.
@AndreaM76 (1164)
• United States
28 Jan 07
I'm right here! I now stay at home with my kids. It's just best all around for them. I was a single mom and my oldest was never in a stable place. HE would go to where ever I could get to keep him. I hated it . I'm really more career oriented but I'm trying to think of creative things to do from home. I feel like I have more to contibute to my family and God than just staying at home. I'm happy though I'm in the position now I can stay home and raise them though. it's made a world of difference especially for my son.
• United States
24 Jan 07
You got me, I've wonder that my self. When I look back over the years and I have a few more to look over, I wonder were was I when these values and life still kind of slipped away. I realize that many new career opportunties has opened up over the years and many moms have become the bread winner in the family.
• United States
24 Jan 07
Yes, there are quite a few of us out here still. I will teach the values that my mother taught me to my daughter. There is nothing wrong with staying at home to take care of the family but I will let her be aware that she will have her own choices. But family is family...as long as her husband treats her good and share with the responsibility then it is ok. I wouldn't raise my daughter to be a martyr though.