Dealing with addiction....
January 10, 2007 12:06pm CST
Addiction is a tough thing...There are people addicted to many things. But looking at a few of the major and most damaging addictions, I would say drugs, alcohol and gambling are the main evils... I have been lucky enough to have never fallen into a addiction with any of these things myself, but addiction has effected me deeply through various relationships..friends, family ect... But thats addiction, it doesn't just affect the person that is using, it affects everyone around that person... It's hard when you have to walk away from someone you care about because you see that you are maybe only enabling them by being around... Most addicts have to hit rock bottom before they will seek help and a key factor in them recovering always is THIER desire to not only recongnize thier addiction but WANT to stop... I had a good friend I'll cll Rob, who had a drug problem...Things got pretty bad for him..He lost his job, his family, his home... He came to me, worn and tired and asked me to take him to a detox center one night..I of course did, I wanted to do anything I could to help him and after 6 weeks he came out clean and sober...Wow, just 6 weeks and he looked incredible..I felt hopeful and very happy that my friend was finally back on his way up! I allowed him to come stay with me while he rebuilt his new life but on one condition...He could NOT use while staying in my home... I encouraged him everyday when he went to his meetings, told him how proud I was of him and how happy I was to have my friend back...made myself available to talk when ever he needed...I wanted him to succeed..I felt he would.. One night while in the kitchen making dinner I heard a strange noise coming from the guest room he was staying in... I went in there and seen him on the bed, blue and gasping for air.... I immediately began giving him mouth to mouth and had my other roommate call 911.... To make a long story short, he was ok..He was taken to the hospital and I was told he had a drug overdose...Because 911 was called the police were also involved..Near his bed was a syringe..The officer told me that it was procedure in such a case that he would need to search my apartment for drugs..I was scared and so upset at Ron for putting me in this position...I could have been charged..I could have faced legal issues because of his actions..Actions he swore to me would NEVER happen in my home.. Nothing else was found in the search of my place and the officer was quite nice about not filing a report after I explained the situation. He believed me actually because he seen all the recovery literature scattered around Ron's room... The next day my friend was fine and released from the hospital...but I didnt see him I was ANGRY! Angry that he did that in my house..Angry that he had been lying to me and still using..Angry that I almost watched him die...I told him I couldnt be his freind right now..That I loved him and wanted to have a relationship with him, but the "him" he was when he wasn't using. When he used he was not the friend I knew.. Nor was he the friend I could trust... I had a mutual friend take all of his belongings to him..I didnt even want to see him... A few weeks went by and I hadnt heard anything from him...I wondered how he was...Was he clean? Was he trying?.... I had a lot of guilt about letting him go, so to speak.. A lot of guilt for shutting that door,..But I felt I tried everything else I could and now I had to also think about how this could hurt me and my family...I thought maybe if he loses me as a friend it just gives him one more good reason to fight this addiction...I felt I was doing the right thing by walking away... 2 days before Christmas, 1999, I got a call...Rob overdosed on heroine and died...Apparently he came home to the little room he was renting..H went and turned on the water to fill the bathtub, went back to the couch to shoot some heroine, overdosed and died.... It was water in the tub, left running, that eventually overflowed and caused a neighbor to call the owner of the building who came down and found Ron on the couch... I was devesated...We had been freinds for years and years..Been through soo much...I loved him...and now he was gone and I was filled with horrible guilt.. For a long time I blamed myself for making him leave my home that day For a long time I suffered that our last words were through an angry phone call...For a long time I racked my brains with ways I could have made a difference or saved him... Time has gone by and Ive learned a few things..I have also learned to forgive myself over what happened...but it wasnt easy...
3 people like this
• United States
10 Jan 07
REading this invokes such a fear in me. I am fearful that I will lose people who are close to me who are also addicted. Some want to close the door on them. I don't want to lose them. I fear that closing the door will be worse. I am lost. Huggers to you.
12 Jan 07
The people who have said that this story is too long and boring, I think you are really mean. If its too long, don't read it or post. This lady is talking about something personal and upsetting and it is like you throwing it back in her face to do that. My boyfriend is in rehab for the first time at the moment and I remember once he was thinking about asking all the people around him to do exactly what you did. He felt that if he knew that he would have no one if he started drinking again then it would motivate him to stay on the wagon. I couldn't agree to it myself and told him that I felt that wouldn't work as the only way he could stop was by facing the issues that caused it in the first place. That is not to say that you didn't do the right thing for you though. We each make our own choices in life and are responsible for our own happiness and that counts for you and for your friend. I can understand the guilt you went through though. The old adage about never letting the sun go down on an argument is a good one to live by for just that reason. Having said that though, it sounds as if you were very reasonable with him and the imprtant thing is that, even in your anger, you did let him know that you cared.
11 Jan 07
i think u were extremely right in doing all that u did.there is a saying that "no one in this world can help u unless n untill u help urself". i think ur friend was destined to die that way n no force could have saved him.dont feel guilty bcoz u did ur best as a friend but he dint live upto ur expectation.hence u shouldnt feel responsible in any way.
11 Jan 07
I think you all need to speak more often to people with the health literacy. Ask them and discuss. I think the education system should also change to prevent all this addiction. Btw, coffee and tea is also an addiction, a lot of things we do are an addiction to ourselves. And I very sorry about your friend, I guess even the methadone program might not be able to help him. Cheers~ hope you are having a better life~!
11 Jan 07
I agree that those vices you have mentioned are evil and I feel sorry for those who hook on those things for they lost their love ones because of being addicted. Maybe we should send them to rehabilitation and not to close our doors with them. It's good that you already recover from it and I'm happy for you.