Requesting Friends

By Gabs
@gabs8513 (48764)
United Kingdom
January 10, 2007 4:06pm CST
I do not want anyone (specially new Members) to take Offence at this But if you request a Friend and you get denied that means the Person has either to many friends and won't want anymore,the Person looked at your Profile and found no interrest to them in there on Discussions or The Person will wait and see how you go with your Discussions The Reason I am writing this????? Well today a Member and I believe it was a new Member requested 4 times to me as Friend I looked at the Persons Profile and the Discussions where not for me at all so I denied the Person , but this Person was determent and requested again and again until after the 4th Denial they must have got fed up with it I always check a Persons Profile before I accept as it is no use if I am not going to help my Friend by not being able to respond to their Discussions so I have to make sure I am not wasting the Persons time by approving but never responding to them Is anyone else here that chooses their Friends that way ???
13 people like this
64 responses
@disvachic (10123)
• United States
10 Jan 07
When i first started here at mylot i did not look at profiles and all but now i do when i get a friend request because it matters to me now.People sometimes just request so they can just get alot of responses and thats it
3 people like this
@gabs8513 (48764)
• United Kingdom
10 Jan 07
Yes thats right and that is why I deny as I won't even go to their Discussions
2 people like this
@kgwat70 (13398)
• United States
11 Jan 07
When I first started here I did not pay attention to the posts made by that person either but am now aware and look at everyones profiles that are interested in adding me as a friend or be added. I will not add anyone that has no discussions at all or have really silly or stupid discussions. I am looking for people who are interested in having quality posts and comments.
@gabs8513 (48764)
• United Kingdom
11 Jan 07
Nope I don't either
• United States
11 Jan 07
I am now choosy when it comes to accepting new friends. I used to feel guilty when denying but my reasons are the same as yours. I also don't want it be such a large number that I don't have time to respond to their discussions.
3 people like this
@kgwat70 (13398)
• United States
11 Jan 07
I have been denying more people as friends based on what I see in their profiles and discussion lists. I am a lot more choosy now as well.
2 people like this
@gabs8513 (48764)
• United Kingdom
11 Jan 07
Thats right we need to have the time and the Interrest to reply our Friends Discussions and Messages I am glad you both think like me Hope you are ok Whiteheather
1 person likes this
@emeraldisle (13146)
• United States
10 Jan 07
Oh I know what you mean. When I first joined I accepted without thinking twice about it. Now I know a bit more. I look at their profile, the discussions they posted, the ones they have responded to, and see if this is one I would be able to aid as a friend and would be able to aid me. It's nothing against them personal but if I am unlikely to be interested in posting to most of their discussions then I'm wasting their time and mine, let alone my poor inbox of email :) So now I think about it really carefully before hitting accept or deny. I like to be fair but I want to do what is best for them and me.
@gabs8513 (48764)
• United Kingdom
11 Jan 07
Yes that is right I am glad that most People agree with me
1 person likes this
@minxy67 (2710)
21 Jan 07
I do not think I can add much more but to agree 100 % with what emeraldisle has said. :)
@NewHeart (528)
• Canada
11 Jan 07
yes know what you mean about not excepting everyone anymore without checking on them. have looked at some of your posts but this one is the first that i've responded to. part of the reason i responded is because of where you are from. lol i've been there a few times and just wondered if my wifes family might know you. swear not a pick up line or anything since i'm hoping to come over again in late may 07. we usually stay in the beckett rd area up near the fleece i believe it was called. will leave it here to see if you might want to communicate futher as a friend or not. surprising who you might meet in here... lol
2 people like this
@gabs8513 (48764)
• United Kingdom
11 Jan 07
Well Newheart that is amazing and Beckett rd I do know lol And I believe you it is not a pick up line lol but this is amazing I have to admit well you are added to my Friends
1 person likes this
@NewHeart (528)
• Canada
11 Jan 07
well i thank you for accepting me as a friend. didn't know you were still up...lol
2 people like this
@gabs8513 (48764)
• United Kingdom
11 Jan 07
Lol it was 6am here I had just got up
1 person likes this
• Singapore
11 Jan 07
very well said, my friend! i used to accept every single request, but as time goes by, i find that 'discussions my friends started' got choked up with too many discussions that dont interest me or i cannot associate with at all...therefore i'm following exactly as your way now...i have a user who requested for 4 times as well...sigh...thanks for this discussion.
@gabs8513 (48764)
• United Kingdom
15 Jan 07
Hi there Sweety and you are very welcome for this and I wish that there was a Special Friend seession as you would be one of them
• United States
11 Jan 07
Thank you for this helpful discussion for I am a newbie. I have not requested friends yet but I have had some request for myself and not realizing what you just stated I accepted then when I started looking at one of the friends discussion there was nothing of interest to me. Again thank you and I will certainly check that out next time.
2 people like this
@gabs8513 (48764)
• United Kingdom
15 Jan 07
You are welcome I had to learn this to so don't worry
@zuri25 (2128)
• United States
11 Jan 07
That's exactly how I choose which friends I accept. Why accept someone as your friend if they are not asking questions that I want to answer? In such cases, chances are that I will not ask any questions that he or she would like to answer either. Those who I reject as friends should not be offended because it's not done out of disrespect, but rather out of respect.
@gabs8513 (48764)
• United Kingdom
15 Jan 07
Yes that is right I agree with you
@farrum (92)
• India
11 Jan 07
I m sure u might be feeling really disturbed by people bugging you and others who have been on this site for a long time.. but it becomes very difficult for a new person who is new on the site to know the process and requies a friend to help him with growing interest in the website... I m not sure how but it does not look very gr8 that people act by giving rude replys for a frnd request...
@gabs8513 (48764)
• United Kingdom
11 Jan 07
No it is not distubing at all honest and I agree that as a new Person you need help and when you do there are lots here that will help you believe me
1 person likes this
@TerryZ (22085)
• United States
11 Jan 07
Thats what I do too. When I was new here,I didnt really give it much thought when I was accepting friends and had to deleate some of them. They were awfull. Yes I do agree you have to check them out first.
@gabs8513 (48764)
• United Kingdom
11 Jan 07
Yes TerryZ I used to as well but have learned a lesson lol
1 person likes this
@NancyLobo (681)
• India
11 Jan 07
I check the person's profile then I decide whether to approve his or her request, about dicussions friends psot I see if they are really good and of my interests then I respond you feel said to deny the request of friends unless you feel they are really having an opposite nature to yours and you can't stand them then it is okay to deny them, new members will not know all this they will learn with the passage of time.
@gabs8513 (48764)
• United Kingdom
11 Jan 07
Thank you all for your Response
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 Jan 07
I choose my friends here even if I don't know them. But I tend to respond to their discussions and they do the same with me. Sometimes if I have questions, I send them a message and they respond so I guess it's good to have friends here.
2 people like this
@gabs8513 (48764)
• United Kingdom
11 Jan 07
Yes that is good as that is what Friends are for to we help one another
1 person likes this
• Australia
11 Jan 07
You've made good points here, Gabs (as usual). I find I have to limit my friends. I am a firm believer that being a friend includes responding to most of their discussions. Having a large number of friends means "discussions my friends have started" becomes numerous pages long. In Australia, most of us are on download limits and since every page opened is a download, having a large number of friends makes navigation a nightmare as so many pages are opened just to find their discussions. I always check the person's profile first and check discussions they have started. If these are ones I would normally respond to, I check discussions they have replied to, to make sure their discussions are intelligent, logical, polite and not one or two words. Based on what I find, I will accept or reject. A rejection should never be viewed as disapproval of the person. A rejection is simply a means of getting the most from myLot.
@gabs8513 (48764)
• United Kingdom
11 Jan 07
Hi there Cloudwalker and thanks I totally agree with you there I see People saying they have 1000 Friends and I do not know how they cope with that as I would not be able to dedicate my time to that many at all
1 person likes this
@chikkadee (373)
• Australia
10 Jan 07
Yup, I do exactly the same thing. If I dont like their discussions (and I respond to a few if I can before I add them) I wont add them as a friend. Though I dont think I had it as bad as you though, Ive only had one person ask twice. I dont see the point in collecting friends, I like to be a responsible friend and reply to my friends discussions because isn't that the point?
2 people like this
@gabs8513 (48764)
• United Kingdom
11 Jan 07
Yes and that is exactly what it is all about Thank you
1 person likes this
@wmg2006 (5386)
• United States
12 Jan 07
I do not choose my friends at all. If they request I accept, if I request I would hope they would accept too. I want friends so I can have more people listed to respond to their discussions. I look for at least 70 discussions per day to reply to. The best way for me to do that is have a big friend list. I support all my friends and am hoping they do the same. I figure if I can get 1000 friends then at least 500 will support my discussions. And I will have 1000 people to choose from to post replies to. This is just my strategy and I am hoping it works. So far it is working!
2 people like this
@Hamlet333 (725)
• Pakistan
11 Jan 07
hhmmm...if u feel ur interest matches wid that person u shd approve his request but if u don't feel like this....u shd deny that its not useful to u n to him also.
2 people like this
@Biswadip (13)
• India
11 Jan 07
No i dont think going through the profile is an appropriate way to select friend.....It can only done after talking to the person
• United States
11 Jan 07
usually if friend persisting to be my friend ,simply i send message to him explaing my reason why i have to deny him
2 people like this
@runsgame (2034)
• India
11 Jan 07
yes , me also check the profile before selecting friends. i like to your policy . thanks for advicing the all
2 people like this
@ambuvs (100)
• India
11 Jan 07
i dont want too many friends. i need only few good friends. there is no meaning in lot of friends.
2 people like this
• Philippines
11 Jan 07
I just made friends with the people who responded my discussion with sense. some of them are sending me msg first to ask approval. we'll id love to have more friends If I know you personally or If you made sense in all discussion you responded.
2 people like this