Do you beleive that a woman can love both two guys at the same time?

Philippines
January 10, 2007 7:53pm CST
I am married now...I love my husband. We are almost 4 years living together but until he cant apply to work and i am the one working for our family.He always go to gambling and drinkling.I know he loves me,we dont have kids yet. Then, i found someone online..I love him also i know coz i feel so upset, sad when i cant see him online. I lie to him, i didnt tell him i am married..Now, he was telling me that he will to come and visit me in our country then bring me back to his country..I feel so much doubt about it!I dont know what to do..If i tell my husband about him and choose him..i know my husband get angry wiht me and i dont like that to happen..And i am also thinking to tell that guy online before he came to meet me so that he can know and he can think what is the best thing to do..but i am sure he would get angry wiht me...and i feed sad if that things happen also..What should I do?
10 people like this
88 responses
@smille (831)
• India
11 Jan 07
yea it can haapen when u r disappointed and feel decieved or ignored by ur spouse u might get attracted to other person, its the other person's fault as i feel cos he has failed to win ur love so its obvious tht u may get involved with somebody else. and share ur feelings with him. but here u hv not told the person u love, tht u r married, so as early as possible tell him the truth and convince him why u had to do this , he will be sad, upset but afterwards will understand u and will help u getting out of the situation.
• Philippines
11 Jan 07
Okay, thanks..I hope i have a strong determination to tell the truth for the two of them and i can handle everything what may the result then.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 Jan 07
As for me...i dont believe that you can love 2 men at the same time.....I think there will laways be one guy who has a higher intensity than the other..u may say that u like them both because one fulfill ur needs and maybe the other fulfill other needs...but if u just closely listen to urself..then u; realize that their is only one guy which u love more compared to the other....Listen to yourself..
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 Jan 07
I dont know how to measure whom the two of them.Anyway thanks!
11 Jan 07
You aren't really being fair to either man or yourself. If you truly loved your husband then there is no way that you could fall in love with another man.
@chel_0525 (203)
• Philippines
11 Jan 07
driving two boats at a time is hard.You really have to choose between him and your husband. First thing u can do is talk with your husband regarding the things that makes you fall-out of him like gambling and drinking, Tell him directly but democratically that you are affected by his vices,tell him the consequences for your relationship and help him change for you and for his self. Then the other man on the line, you should stop your communication with him. That is not a solution to your problem but can arouse another conflict. If you really love your husband and you don't want him to get angry, convince him for renewal. Don't involve yourself to other guy and be pleased with what he can offer for you. Ignore the guy instead build a brand new you that can make your relation with your husband sizzles.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 Jan 07
Thank for nice response..I appreciate it a lot.
• India
11 Jan 07
Yes absolutely man and woman can love two person at a time. The life throws you in the situation where your's emotional as well yours physical needs thrives on two. In your case you fall in a love with some one whom you met on net and with an emotional vacuum created in your's life due to your's husband condition and you feeling woman again around the man you met online. Now you did a make a mistake by not telling him that you are a married woman and this I dont think much be effecting him but certainly its be effecting you more as you would like to mix yours net life with real world. My advice is tell him the truth and dont encourage yourself in mixing the net world with yours real world. If telling him a truth dosent deter him from maintaining relationship with you then I guess you got to ask question with yourself, which way to go? And I wish you find a answer which firmly puts you in real world and getting yours fantasy part from the net world.
• Philippines
11 Jan 07
Thank you so much for your very clear explanation..I will have to do that..
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
11 Jan 07
sometimes we can find the peoples type like that. yes they can do. But for men it's cannot acceptable.i cannot imagine it...
1 person likes this
• India
11 Jan 07
Shocking situation for the one who was in a love with some one and she is actually not faithful to him.It is the fault of the lady who had lied to him it might be possible that this man can forgot her if she would tell everything to him . If you are not happy with your married life then arrange a date with your friend and tell everything to him about your married life.Also you must be confident enough to ensure him that you will be completely faithful to him in your next journey with him. This decision will also show your love towards him.
• Malaysia
11 Jan 07
Hi..im from Malaysia name Zeroline.U already did a wrong thing.I think at 1st you must solve you and ur husband problem 1st.You must ask ur ownself,do you still love your husband,is it still worth to you to love ur husband?you must have a discussion or meeting with your husband,teel him that how you feel,tel him that you don like him always go to gambling and drinking,just have a chat with him,if he still like that and dont want to listen what you say,then you must think carefully carefully to settle you and ur husband problem.If you really cant accept ur husband attitude anymore then you better breakup with him, second,you must think carefully is it you really love that guy who is online and chatting with you?you never see him right..only a conversation between you and him,is it a love or only caring between you and him,make sure that you think carefully,dont easily trust people that online on msn or where.Or you can try to tell the truth to that guy that you already married.Better tell the truth...if not you will be the one who suffer..
1 person likes this
• India
11 Jan 07
this probably happened because u n ur husband have too much distances in ur relationship. either of u,precisely ur husband is not having time to spend with u.thats why u were attracted to the other guy. try to b more close to ur husband. discuss it with ur husband.this is the best way to get out of this
1 person likes this
@knewelle (128)
• Philippines
11 Jan 07
I believe woman like man can love both two guys at the same time, it only differs on the weight of affections you have for them. If a guy is losing your interest because of his inadequacy you tend to look for another that attracts you specially if this guys is the opposite of the other. You starts realizing that you can still find a better guy than you're husband, but of course considering that he is still your husband and loved him, you remain on his side even if you have same feeling for other guy. Better talk to your husband and be honest about what you really feel on him at the same time talk the other guy about your real situation. Its unfair for them, just think the other way around, if your husband has another woman, or if your inlove with a guy that's already married without you knowing, what would you feel about it? Be honest with them, they deserve to know the truth.
1 person likes this
@nanands (122)
• India
11 Jan 07
It is very difficult to conclude about someone based on internet chats. You could be making a serious mistake about your internet friend. Try to threaten your husband that you will leave him for his drinking and gambling. If he changes, control your money tightly and keep on the leash on this matter. If your husband does not change then do leave him. At that stage you can meet your chat friend personally and decide whether you want to live with him. Till then keep telling the chat friend that various financial committments prevent you from considering marriage. You may remain unmarried for life. It is also possible that when your chat friend actually meets you he may reject you for hiding your first marriage from him. But the chances of his overlooking it are high if you have already moved out of your first marriage.
1 person likes this
@cuddleme01 (2727)
• Philippines
11 Jan 07
i don't think you can love two men at the same time. i believe what you feel right now for the other guy (online) is merely "like" or "admiration". You see something in him that you don't find in your husband. What's missing in your husband, the other guy has them. Perhaps these are the things that attracted you the other guy. You should really weigh what you feel and decide who you REALLY LOVE.
• India
11 Jan 07
women can love more than two guys
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
11 Jan 07
yes, do you ever thinking how many boyfriend do you had before married. The point is to find a perfect match for us,is obvious love another guy but is he worth for us inthe future and make you happy why not?
@aaron2416 (152)
• India
11 Jan 07
well...u need to be barave enough to tell the truth. i request you, please do not dig ur own grave with such a mess...one man(ur husband) is tough to handle, rite? why involve some more...all the best
@argelo (65)
• Philippines
12 Jan 07
NO way!!!
@argelo (65)
• Philippines
12 Jan 07
Its hard to be in that kind of situation. But you should try to work it out.. You should help him by bringing his self confidence back. Help him to find a job. If he see your sincerity and care I know he could change. Dont find a mistake to solve your problem. I know that you are feeling lonely but you should have a heart to face those situation. I know you can do it!
@wesker311 (510)
• Philippines
11 Jan 07
it only takes two to tango! means only a mAn and woman is allowed to be in a marriage. if your husband loves you so much he would quit the gambling and find himself a job to support you! or else! im so sorry if i say this but you need to leave him if he doesnt change! and for the other guy you were talking about you need to tell him the truth because if he loves you as you say so then he'll understand. he might get upset but try to break it to him gently!
• Philippines
11 Jan 07
thanks!
• Philippines
12 Jan 07
i suggest you work out your relationship with your husband. talk to him and tell him to stop his gambling and so much drinking. he has to find work, you know. i doubt if your relationship online can be a serious one because you're already committed. if you'll let your feelings rule for the new guy, it may create a big problem. he doesnt know you're married and that will surely make him angry. since you love your husband, try working on your relationship. i mean make it better. meanwhile, try to avoid/forget the new guy.good luck!
• United States
12 Jan 07
Yes you can love two men at the same time i know how you feel sad, torn,and confused i was married for 12 years my husband had a haibt everytime i got a good job he would stay home more and drink we could never get a head i found myself talking to another guy that understood that i loved my husband cause he was a good father but not a husband so he help me relize even though i loved my husband i also needed to be loved and we have been together now for 4 years but the said part is that he is married also but when we are together words cant describe how we feel for each other. you should do what i did plan a day to send with the guy then plan a shooping trip for a whole day out so you and the other guy could have time to spend together and see how you bothe feel about each other and discuss it over lunch or dinner and at that time you will either leave together and spend more time together or leave seprate hope things work out
@roxified (90)
• Philippines
12 Jan 07
i think that it is possible for a woman to fall inlove with two guys at the same time. especially in your situation. it's hard to fall inlove when you're still attached to someone. think first before you do something cos you might end up regrettig it. i think that you must learn to let go and open your heart to the one you really love. it's not eady to do, i know. but sometimes you just have to..
@jesi06 (279)
• United States
12 Jan 07
You need to tell this man the truth. A relationship should never begin on a lie. I do think it is possible to have love for 2 people at the same time, however I do not believe that you can be IN love with two people at the same time. Had you been IN love with your husband you would not have been turning elsewhere to get the attention you needed. You should also talk to your husband and tell him how you feel about this other man. It sounds to me like you have some issues with his drinking & gambling habit which he seems to not be able to fund with his own finances. Sit him down and let him know all of this. Let it out, and if need be set yourself free. Do not allow yourself to live in misery....we ALL deserve to be happy. Good luck with whatever you decide.
@cheenlly (3483)
• Philippines
12 Jan 07
You should honor your vows to your husband and remain faithful. What your experiencing is part of the married relationship. There will always a time for sorrow, a time for joy, a time for silence and a time to talk. I didnt mean having no work,gambling and drinking is right but your husband needs uplifting. He need to change. Its you only who can stand by him and make him change. Maybe he is just having low morale because he dont have a work. He has low self esteem and afraid to fail but unfortunately instead of pursuing and striving hard to cope with that, he is on the wrong track. Help him,talk to him, work out your relationship. In that stage of sadness and perhaps regreting of course you can easily be diverted your feeling to someone because you feel sad but also its you also put yourself into a conflicated situation. what you did is also consider cheating. You dont have to escape the problem with your husband but instead i encourage you to face it,resolve it and see what will happen.