When kids face death....

@Shar11 (419)
United States
January 10, 2007 8:30pm CST
A neighborhood friend of my 11year old daughter just lost his mom suddenly in an automobile accident..She was only 34... The whole incident left my daughter feeling very confused and afraid. I think for her, the realization that one of your parents can suddenly die really freaked her..She's been asking lots of questions about death and I am answering as best I can and also encouraging her to keep sharing her feelings and concerns with me... She lost a step-grandfather about a year ago to cancer..For a while everytime I or my hubby were sick she asked "Do you think you have cancer?" I assured we were both very healthy and would be around a long long time... Although this first loss with her granddad was difficult, I think because he was sick for a long time and also because in her eyes he was very "old" it didnt seem to cause as much fear of death as she seems to have right now... Does anyone know of any good books on the topic of death that are helpful for a child her age? thanks
4 people like this
5 responses
• United States
11 Jan 07
In 4th grade I lost my two best friends in a sudden awful accident. I had nightmares for months about it, but was pretty numb otherwise. I think every child is different and your daughter is very inquisitive and searching. I unfortunately don't have any good books to recommend, but I would like to commend you on answering her questions and being there for her to communicate with. The only thing that really helped me during that time was to ask when I had the questions and keep going on with regular life aside from that. It helped a lot to have a mother who took the time to answer. I also had a group of kids about it, since every one knew every one in the small town. It was almost like a support group in and of itself.
@Shar11 (419)
• United States
12 Jan 07
thank you, it's nice to hear your perspective as you mention you were around the same age when you experienced these losses..
• United States
11 Jan 07
I don't know of any books but the best advise i can give you is keep talking to your daughter that is better than any book she can read explain to her that these things happen sometimes and that she should not worry about them and that accidents happen sometimes and they are tragic the main thing is to be there for your dughter and make her understand that it was a accident and we cannot control these things the internet might have some information on this type of things.
• India
11 Jan 07
one of my friend lost her father and mother when she was just 18 years of age....i think it is hoorible...she has lost it completely now she has no fear of anything that makes her all the damgerous....she has spoiled her life because of lack of direction and lost the fear of anybody shoutting at her......
1 person likes this
@amber81 (288)
• United States
11 Jan 07
I would just reasure her that you all are fine, and that everyone does pass away sometime in life, just some younger than others.I know i lost my mom when i was 8 yrs old, they put me in classes to see the counseler at school. So maybe she could go visit the counseler at school and maybe he or she could help her to understand it a bit better. Well hope i helped!
1 person likes this
@PortHell (342)
• Egypt
11 Jan 07
i 've an advice for you take your doughter to a doctor(secologyiest). he 'll do that job better than you.