I am a 22 years old girl , I have problem in relationships , Ask for help !

@kotad6 (209)
Pakistan
January 11, 2007 12:01am CST
I am a 22-years-old girl, I together with my boy-friend for about one year. But recently I feel our feelings and notions go far and far. The same thing we always have different ideas. The day before yesterday,i even seen him with a girl who is my boy-friend`s classmate drinking in the bar, but when i ask him he told me he was reading in the library. And just now, another boy told me"he loves me", but i have no feel to him, I still love my boy-friend. He told lie to me, can you tell me what should i do? How can let him back to me? Thank you for your answer.
16 people like this
86 responses
@yoleis27 (557)
• Israel
11 Jan 07
Well I think that you should make a serious conversation with him about your relationship.. The case of the girl in the bar: don't just jump into conclusions.. I think that you sholud just ask him.. If your dating him for a year I guess that you trust each other right? So you can talk with hime about everything?
5 people like this
@kotad6 (209)
• Pakistan
11 Jan 07
Yes, i trust him absolutely before,but now he told lie to me, i really dont know which is true and which is fake. I want to converse with him but i am afraid the truth, it may hurt me deeply. Thanks for your suggestion.
5 people like this
• Ghana
11 Jan 07
commit the whole problem into the hands of Lord and seek for deliverance my sister, and approach him with faith and talk to him, it shall be well, good luck then.
4 people like this
• Philippines
11 Jan 07
yap! I totally agree on having a good clear conversation. 1 year isn't that long for me but if guys have issues on trust... for me its best to clear up things with her. if you think cheating is forgivable, forgive him. if you ask me, a guy who doesn't know how to keep his commitment is a boy who loves to play toys. im sure your a lady in seek of a man who cares and loves. right? its all up to you
3 people like this
@mimpi1911 (25454)
• India
11 Jan 07
hi! i think, since this is the first time, you should give him a benefit of doubt and donot snap at him just because he was seen with a girl. that part is okay but the lying bit is not acceptable. u should reason with him and ask him why did he have to lie? donot show your eagerness in this matter and he would confide in you the truth sooner or later as he loves you for sure. this is just a passing phase and he did it out of monotony, i guess. i would have let him go, would not have bothered to show that i was sad. pretend you are not sad and hurt. let go and if he really loves and cares he's gonna come back to you and never leave. good luck!
@kotad6 (209)
• Pakistan
11 Jan 07
Did you mean i should give him a chance to explain? Like you said, I just cant accept he lying to me. So i want to chat with him about it. But i dont know how to start and what to say ? Can anyone help me out?
3 people like this
@kotad6 (209)
• Pakistan
11 Jan 07
Did you mean i should give him a chance to explain? Like you said, I just cant accept he lying to me. Thanks a million. Now i want to chat with him about it. But i don`t know how to start and what to say ? Can anyone help me out?
2 people like this
@zgb_0001 (1383)
• Pakistan
13 Jan 07
I also think you should give your BF a chance to explain.
@sharone74 (4839)
• United States
11 Jan 07
Jealousy will only push you further apart. Confront him with what you saw, but don't do it in a jealous and confrontational manner. Don't get all emotional. Just ask him what is going on and why does he think that he needs to lie to you. Ask him if he is serious about your realtionship or if it time to get serious about finding another companion it can be painful but worse is to be played for a fool. And a jealous fool is one of the worst kinds of fool to become.
@kotad6 (209)
• Pakistan
11 Jan 07
Yes, i will ask him about this and make it clealy. If he really dont serious about our relationships i will give up this sensation although this will deeply hurt me, i think no one like be cheating. Thank you sharone74 Mary
2 people like this
@smille (831)
• India
12 Jan 07
u r right sharon, dont come to any conclusion emmediately, think for a while and just watch him for some more time if the thing happens again, catch him redhanded and then take any decision.
1 person likes this
@zgb_0001 (1383)
• Pakistan
11 Jan 07
I heard husbands often tell lie to wifes. and do Boys often tell lie to girls now? Your feelings must be grasped by yourself:)
3 people like this
@kotad6 (209)
• Pakistan
11 Jan 07
Thanks for your advice. Why man always like cheating female? I dont knwo why but i saw so many cases proved that girls cant believe boys. Thank you again. Mary
2 people like this
@zgb_0001 (1383)
• Pakistan
12 Jan 07
Sometimes we need goodwill deception:)
1 person likes this
@amanda84 (263)
• Malaysia
11 Jan 07
i tell u what. once a guy lies..we cant give them another chance. how do i know. cos i caught my ex lying..and he told me that he is sorry but he neve chance. although diff ppl diff character..but i still hope that u will think carefully. confront him bout what u saw..tell him how u feel..ok. good luck.
3 people like this
@kotad6 (209)
• Pakistan
11 Jan 07
Yes i will confront him and the truth, whether give him chance or not decided by him behave. Now i am thinking how to talk with him. Thank you amanda84
2 people like this
@anup12 (4180)
• India
11 Jan 07
Just be firm in asking him that whether he loves u or not and if u are not satisfied with your replies think twice before committing
2 people like this
@kotad6 (209)
• Pakistan
11 Jan 07
I will think carefully before committe, thanks for your advice. I just dont know how to say to him.
2 people like this
• India
11 Jan 07
ur bf lied it 2 u. ask him to give a genuine reason.or else tell him that "i need time". take ur time n dont extend ur relationship further,untill u r confirmed.
2 people like this
@kotad6 (209)
• Pakistan
11 Jan 07
Thanks for your advice, friend. Hope you have a nice day. Mary
2 people like this
@vkbllm (474)
• India
11 Jan 07
Well I think you are in a grave siuation! You badly need to have word with ur boy friend. What I advice is:- Your boyfriend do not seems to be very faithful to you,I advice that u should fall in a relation with some one who loves you and not with some one you loves!
@kotad6 (209)
• Pakistan
11 Jan 07
But i love still my boyfriend, i cant accept other boys now. Thank you.
2 people like this
@Xtauseef (158)
• Singapore
11 Jan 07
its a problem when 2 people ideas are different all the time but in your situation its not a big problem.The big problem is that he lied to you. there could have been possibilty that he was with her friend in bar but as he lied that means something is definitely goin on in between them or maybe he lied because he thought u would think wrong if he tells u the truth. Dont make a quick decision. wait and see his response.if he really loves he will come bak. X
@kotad6 (209)
• Pakistan
12 Jan 07
Normally we have same opinion, he just cheat me this time as I know. I dont want to make quick decision about this things for i love him and, i cant make sure he didn`t love me anymore. Thanks Xtauseef
@kotad6 (209)
• Pakistan
12 Jan 07
We usually have same idea but i dont know why he cheat me this time . I will patient waiting for good advice . Thank you very much , friend .
@mishang (499)
• Philippines
15 Jan 07
i am not trying to upset you, but if you feel that you can't trust your guy because of his lies, then i think you should end the relationship. if the guy is player, no matter how or what you do, there just no way of keeping him and the relationship. as a matter of fact you're putting yourself in a situation that makes you less worthy that what you truly are.
1 person likes this
@kotad6 (209)
• Pakistan
16 Jan 07
I just talk to him but he still lie, i think i should to finish this relationships now . I havent talk with him for about 24 hours and we will ...
@moreinfo (3867)
• China
13 Jan 07
well, love is a feeling, if you dont fell good, then thats a bad feeling. love could lead to marriage, thats a contract. if the the love could not lead to the contract, then thats not a good love.
1 person likes this
@kotad6 (209)
• Pakistan
14 Jan 07
Thanks for helping moreinfo . Just like your said, love is feeling so i really afraid of the feeling which he gave me. I am tired about it. Thanks again.
@20021985 (109)
• India
12 Jan 07
See fearing truth and feeling bad is not a solution. You are feeling bad anyways. You cannot hide truth and neither can u change fate so talk and get things clarified. Tell him something like i dont suspect you but its hurting me cz u dont need to hide anything from me. I think there must be something that you were helping her out but i just want to know y u dint say right thing to me?? Am i hitler?? I have accepted as u r with both your mistakes and good things. Just give me a chance to comfort you. I hope am not putting you in awkward situation by ssaying like this. See the better you know the truth is good for u.
1 person likes this
@kotad6 (209)
• Pakistan
12 Jan 07
Tell him I dont suspect you but its hurting me because you dont need to hide anything from me. OK ? Thanks i just dont know how to talk with he.
• United States
12 Jan 07
First off your 22 years young. You will most likely meet and have a heart for many more men. Only you can decide wether or not someone is right for you. Your heart will tell you what to do. Asking for advice about relationships can sometimes complicate matters. Follow your heart and you will do no wrong. Good luck
@kotad6 (209)
• Pakistan
12 Jan 07
I know sometimes things will be complicate but i really have no other ways to solve the problem. Just want suggestions which i don`t think in. Thanks for your advice.
• India
11 Jan 07
Well Please do not take personal offence if the response hurts your feeling. Now what i get from your experience and from many of them i have met or had contacts is this that this guy is cheating on you. Look he is not only double or multiple dating I am quite sure he might also be talking rot about you to his friends or his inner circle. Look a girl always does not need to have a boy friend , If the guy who proposed you is good its fine to go along with him but the best thing will be "forget everyone' be single reorganise your thoughts then think over about a relationship afresh in few months time. You would be betetr judge
1 person likes this
@kotad6 (209)
• Pakistan
12 Jan 07
Thanks! He really cheat me but i dont know why. I`ll make a conclusion with him later but i dont know how to start. Any good idea?
• India
11 Jan 07
First be confirmed about the fact if he's ur boyfriend.Now consider the fact that if he can cheat upon you then you can also cheat upon him.Dont indulge yourself in relationship hangovers.Be brave and firm about whom you should love and whom you shouldn't.If he is not bothered about his affair with you,then its always better for you to mind your life and if possible find another partner. all d best
1 person likes this
@kotad6 (209)
• Pakistan
13 Jan 07
Thanks for your advice. But i saw him in the bar with the girl myself, it will not mistake i an sure. I will talk to him .
• India
13 Jan 07
i think u should confront him and tell him that u know that he lied and ask him for an explanation... as far as your relationship is concerned i think both of u have to sit down and decide what ur priorities are and what u mean to each other... i dont think there should be to much of a problem if ur views contrast on some matters but u should have some common interests otherwise u will end up fighting...and as u say u love him both of u will have to put in that extra effort to keep ur relationship going...
• United States
11 Jan 07
I dont agree with anyone lying. I think that why lie unless you feel you are doing something wrong or something you shouldnt. Obviously one of the two is the case. I would dump him. Loving him or not, he lied
• Ecuador
11 Jan 07
I think you don`t life in the past, because this is going to cause sadness to you, and belive me men don`t like this womans
@dejiflow (128)
• Nigeria
11 Jan 07
Sometimes relationships that started very well begin to flounder, and this can be painful. There may be a need to separate for a while, to examine your feelings. It may be that you will get back together and appreciate each other more.
1 person likes this
@roadromeo (376)
• India
11 Jan 07
Well I would say that you should talk to him frankly and be as straightforward as you could be. But also try to be diplomatic in your talks with him.Also, let him know that you really love him and why did he tell a lie to you. Ask him if he is not happy with the relationship and if he wants to step out of it. Also, I would say that you should love the one who loves YOU and not the one whom you love....so decide soon and best of luck.
1 person likes this