Weight Compliments or Insults

United States
January 11, 2007 6:09pm CST
People have always made comments to me about being so thin. From family, friends, and complete strangers why do they think this is okay? I would never say something about the one someone looked because sometimes they can't help it and I wouldn't want to hurt their feelings. Some people can't lose weight and some of us are naturally skinny. Do they think they are giving compliments? It's not like they say, "oh you look great", it is more like, "you are so skinny, don't you eat?" I'm so sick of everyone assuming you have an eating disorder if you are thin. I understand there are a lot of girls/boys who look up to models/celebs who do have issues, but everyone has feelings. Does anyone else run into this?
9 people like this
42 responses
@quatelmon (957)
• United States
12 Jan 07
Yes, all the time! When they say that to me, I just say "look at my mother, she's thinner than I am!!!" Some of us are skinny, some of us are larger. It's very annoying, and compliments are one thing, but saying "do you ever eat?" is another. It's rude. I'm never rude back to the person who would say this, however, because it is always better to take the high road. I'm happy with the way I look, and everyone else should, too. If you're not happy with it, change yourself! Great post, Laesy! It's really nice to know that I'm not the only one!
• United States
12 Jan 07
When people say my daughter is small, and keep in mind she is 3 and perfect on the growth scale, I tell them well look at me I doubt she is going to be large. People can be rude my husband says they do it to make themselves feel better and I think that is sad. Putting someone else down to lift yourself up. Oh well it's human nature, I guess. I just take the high road too, but sometimes I don't want to:)
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Jan 07
honestly, i always feel insulted when people (even friends) would say, hey you've gained some weight. i've read somewhere that it is not good etiquette to comment on a person's weight or his/her age. okay, so i know i don't look good, but must they tell it that to my face?
• United States
12 Jan 07
People often open their mouths before the actually think about what they are going to say. Many don't realize or just don't care that their words are like acid. I have known people to say things that are really hurtful or insensitive. I choose to turn a deaf ear.
3 people like this
• United States
12 Jan 07
I agree:)
1 person likes this
@misskatonic (3730)
• United States
12 Jan 07
I understand your frustration. I don't see how anyone can possibly think it's okay to make comments about someone's weight, regardless of what size they are. Some people are just naturally skinny. Or, in my case, have a health problem that prevents them from gaining much weight. At my worst, I hit about 115 pounds and I had so many people commenting and asking me if I was anorexic. It drove me nuts!
3 people like this
• United States
12 Jan 07
Yes, see thats what I mean. People assume you have a problem (with eating) and don't think that there might be a medical reason. For me there is not but I often wonder if someone has made a comment and the person informed them that they were sick, how that person felt.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Jan 07
Hi Laesy777 Heres what you do every time you look in the mirror you stop and say dam I look good. Laesy777 the truth is we are not here to please anyone but ourself, if you think you look good then thats what you should start believing. Once you visit your doctor regulary and he/she says your health then what is there to worry about. The thing is we all have forgotten that we are not here to judge only God can, remember. People always have something to say and its ususally someone who doesnt even know you, dont you think thats crazy. Feel good about yourself dont worry about these judgemental people. Much happiness to you SisterLove
1 person likes this
@msqtech (15226)
• United States
12 Jan 07
You are so right the only judgement we should make is about health not appearance
@suman76 (648)
• India
12 Jan 07
I understand how you will feel when somebody point out you for the weight. But I can say you are much better than others. People are so worried about their heavy body. take the example of Adnam Swami. He has loose 110 kg. See the difference. Be cool .
• United States
12 Jan 07
I think it is a struggle for people to lose weight, and I am happy I'm thin.
1 person likes this
@anne_143god (5390)
• Philippines
12 Jan 07
I think they are just concern on your looks thats why they say if you eating well. Maybe you just treat it as a challenge to build more your body and dont feel sad if you hear that from them.
• United States
12 Jan 07
I don't think any comment has ever been said to me out of genuine concern. I used to think that and that is what people always said. But I feel if they are concerned then they would approach it a completely different way. I actually feel sad for them because they are so insensitive. I'm happy with my body and the 2 babies I grew:)
1 person likes this
@usman400 (1588)
• Pakistan
12 Jan 07
I once read an article about fat ppl in newspaper it was very interesting as it pointed out the very important hidden point i.e. fat ppl dont like to be called by their friends even for the sake of joke or amusement. And really this is the hidden thing I recon, because these ppl will never let anyone know that they get hurt listening such ridiculous comments.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Jan 07
It just seems like people were raised with commonsense and would know when they hurt someones feelings. I'm obvisously wrong though.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Jan 07
I got this kind of comments all the time especially at work.I dont know really know if they are giving compliments or criticizing how i look but what i know is i get upset all the time.I've been trying to gain weight but i just cant because i dont have a big appetite.Though i know that i am healthy but i really want to gain my size.Im a size 0 but i want to be atleast 1 or 2.People can be insensitive sometimes.
• United States
12 Jan 07
I use to want to be bigger too, but nothing worked, and I have found being healthly is what we should worry about. Health is the best thing whether you are big or small. Now that I'm older I'm thankful that I am thin and don't have to worry about losing weight like most of my friends do. It's just as hard for them to lose it as for me to put it on.
1 person likes this
@hopeful28 (1439)
• Singapore
12 Jan 07
I can empathise with you except that I am overweight. It hurts when people make comments about my having piled on flesh, look rounder etc... but what really stabs me to the heart is when someone says in front of everybody else "Wow, you have become so fat now". Takes me days to get over it. I feel embarrassed and humiliated. I have to tell myself not to mind them because I am a nice person inside. If people are in trouble, will they run only to slim people or the fat ones? We can't control people's mouths and it's usually those ignorant or insensitive people who make these remarks.
@justreal (2369)
• Canada
12 Jan 07
Yes people that haven't seen me me for a good while, they tell me "wow what have you done(now I don't know if that is a good or bad thing)you lost weight big time and you changed, what you don't eat?". Anyway I eat just like I use to but healthier of course, and plus I workout 4-5 times a week.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Jan 07
for me, it depends in the way a person say that kind of thing and the situation when such compliment/ insult is being said...........
1 person likes this
@amienf (57)
• Indonesia
12 Jan 07
i choise insult, i like
1 person likes this
@CanemX (66)
• Brazil
12 Jan 07
Laesy777, I understand their irritation, and I am not defending those people who are annoying you with such comments, but I just would like you to look at this from another point of view... MOST of the people today, even those who look fit, have to stay away from eating many things, look after their weight, bla-bla... for majority of us life turns into a constant struggle with our own body which always asks for more delicious food and as soon as it gets some, rushes to transform it into another pound of weight. You´ve been blessed. You don´t have this problem of being punished by nature for every ice-cream that you eat. Those people who make comments are simply jealous about it! so be forgiving because it´s them who have to fight with weight, and not you. well... and in case you want to revenge yourself, just say something, like... "yeah, I am so skinny... I´m thinking of ordering a double cheesburger with big fries for myself now and follow it with a large sundae... would you give me a company, or do you have to drop off those 2 pounds?" good luck
@CanemX (66)
• Brazil
12 Jan 07
sorry, i wanted to say "i understand YOUR irritation" but i guess I wrote subconsiously "their" because most chubby people get irritated looking at skinny ones hehehehe
• United States
15 Jan 07
Thanks:) I guess that would be the polite way to comeback.
• Melbourne, Florida
12 Jan 07
Same here. When someone tells me how skinny I am, it does not feel like a compliment. Because I do not want to be this skinny. I have tried to gain weight. Having two babies didn't even change anything. A person would not tell an overweight person how fat they are, why do people feel inclined to tell me something I already know.
• United States
15 Jan 07
Yes, all I heard was you won't be so skinny after you have children and honestly I was quite happy with that. As soon as I gave birth the weight started to come off. I know one day my metabolism will slow down so I should enjoy it.
@bonbon50 (659)
• United States
12 Jan 07
I was always tall and thin and people would say, 'Boy, you're tall', or 'You're so thin'. Do they think they have to point these things out because I don't already know them? A stranger wouldn't walk up to another stranger and say, 'Wow, you're almost bald'. After a while, when people would say I was tall or thin I would act like it was the first time I ever heard it...."Wow, really, I've never noticed that before! Thanks for pointing it out to me!" After that, they usually realize how stupid they were for commenting.
• United States
15 Jan 07
That's a great way to come back:)
@Rahleah (187)
• United States
12 Jan 07
I agree with you that it too personal for people to make comments about. It's just as bad to comment on a person being thin as it is to them being overweight. The only time I ever comment is if I hear a very obviously thin person remarking that they are so fat. I do contradict them and say, "No, you aren't fat at all. You look great." I think "you look great the way you are" is about the only safe thing to say, after all.
• United States
15 Jan 07
Yes I really hate when thin people say they are fat, I want to strangle them because they are the ones who make a lot of people think we don't eat.
@dejiflow (128)
• Nigeria
12 Jan 07
There are just too many people out there who are crude and rude at the same time. Sometimes I wish one could spare the time to sue for damaging remarks. Try not to let it get to you. You can also think of some sharp replies that will shut them right up.
• United States
15 Jan 07
Oh, trust me I've thought of really good replies, but because I'm upset at the time they aren't very nice remarks. Therefore that is why I don't say them.
@coolcatzz (1589)
• Canada
12 Jan 07
I wish I had your problem (meaning being skinny instead of fat) but yes I know how you feel. Especially strangers when they comment. It can't make you feel good. People shouldn't say anything if it's not nice.
• United States
15 Jan 07
Being skinny or bigger we all feelings. I know that is what my mom taught me if you don't have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.
@Pigglies (9340)
• United States
23 Jan 07
I think a lot of people will say, "Oh, you look so thin!" because they'll think of it as a compliment most likely. And in this society, thinness is associated with beauty. The problem is, if they tell that to someone who really is anorexic or something, it just motivates them to keep trying harder.
@thekiwi (588)
• United States
13 Jan 07
Well to friends no, but close family members, i would joke with them about it...they do me the same way...i dont think it hurts their feelings but they do it right back anways!