How to deal with seeing a baby abused

United States
January 12, 2007 8:55am CST
I am asking because a friend of my friends punched her child in the leg right in front of me and I was sooo shocked. The child is only 2 years old and yes the baby is a little busy but PUNCH?? Who even hits a 2 year old, a baby? I was so taken aback that I didnt say anything because I really wanted to tell her off, and grab the baby and rub the spot but I wasn't sure if that was the right move. Now thatI had time to think about it, I want to talk to her but what should I say in a polite but firm way? Remember I really don't know her as well as my friend does.
5 people like this
58 responses
@wmaharper (2316)
• United States
12 Jan 07
Talk to your friend about it, see what she has to say, did she find it inappropriate? Maybe you can both talk to the woman about it. But whatever you do, don't just let it go. If there is abuse, you would never forgive yourself if something happended to this little baby. You owe it to the baby to say something, he/she can't speak for herself so you need to be her/his voice. Good luck to you!
3 people like this
• Lithuania
12 Jan 07
Children and woman is untouchable. Anybody beating them must be removed once and for all.
1 person likes this
12 Jan 07
yeh! i cant stand men that beat kids or women... it gets me so pissed!!!
@datiger (102)
• Estonia
13 Jan 07
No violence(verbal of physical) against children can be forgiven.
@sunnypub (2131)
• United States
12 Jan 07
I don't think it matters if you really know the person or not. If you witness abuse you should do something about it. call Child Protective Services. You can do that annonomously. I don't know if talking to the parent would do any good. If they are okay with hitting their child then I don't think they would care what you say to them. In my state CPS needs tog et three separate complaints for three different people before they will investigate. I am not sure how it is in other places. If you don't want to wait for CPS then call the police. But do something...before your conscious gets the best of you, or the child gets really hurt.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Jan 07
Your right and I guess I hesitated because the child seemds happy and shows effection to her mother and I m wondering if she just got so fustrated even though that is NO excuse to punch a baby, but then again I do not know what goes on in the house. I asked my friend and she said she never saw her hit her child which made me hesitant in getting the services involved because once they are involved they are involved.
@maainim (70)
• Israel
12 Jan 07
kick her too .. then she'll see .
1 person likes this
@korek222 (703)
• Poland
12 Jan 07
Abusing child is a bad thing but sometimes it depends on why and what child. For me giving a child ( pre-teenager - 7-10 years) a little a soft punch as a punishement for serious offence he commited is a good educational behaviour but it shouldn't be overused. But punching a 2yr old child who is often not fully responsable for it's deeds is a very bad thing and shouldn't be done. If you want to talk to her - use wise thought and never try to offence your friend or to make her do as you want her do to - show her this is a unnecessairy practic and should be stopped
1 person likes this
@lastwish (780)
• India
12 Jan 07
The best thing is to go to his religion sources try to teach him what his religion teaches about the rights of kids.. tell him that ur religion does not allows you to hit children's.. i hope he will understand
1 person likes this
• India
12 Jan 07
some people understand when you talk, but some can't worse are those who cant tolerate anything spoken agiainst them.
1 person likes this
@khalablue (309)
• Canada
12 Jan 07
If someone would hit their child in front of others, what are they likely to do to it in private? This is serious, as violence towards children tends to escalate as the child gets older. I would ask what the circumstances were that caused the mother to hit the baby, but frankly I don't think it really matters. Babies should never he hit, ever! Please report this incident to the proper authorities. Even if the abuse is not serious enough to warrant removal of the child, the mother definitely needs some kind of counselling.
@Celanith (2334)
• United States
12 Jan 07
You need to call child protective services and the police, this is extreme abuse on this child and she could do more harm to this baby, she is out of control, they will make her get parenting classes and help her. I don't like everything CPS does but there are times they do help while others they do harm on bogus calls, But you witnessed this and so you need to call. If you don't and others know you saw this you could be charged with aiding and abetting in a crime of abuse.
• United States
12 Jan 07
What a fantastic way to raise kids... Train them with fear, and at such a young age. I seriously don't understand why some people have kids if they aren't even going to pretend to have a notion of how to treat them. Punching a toddler is acting on the same level as the kid. She's setting a terrible example and if she makes other great parenting moves like this I can only imagine how that kid will turn out. The sad thing is that this was probably how your friend was raised, so even though they should know better they don't act it. Yes, you should say something. She might get upset, she might quit talking to you even (people get touchy when you tell them they are parenting wrong)... In my opinion, I don't really know how great a person who punches toddlers can be so I wouldn't feel all that bad about the lost friendship.
1 person likes this
@vikhram (202)
• India
12 Jan 07
I think this thing needs to be avoided and babies are helpless human beings who should be taken care of not harmed. People should stop people from physically abusin kids
1 person likes this
@bryelee (452)
• United States
12 Jan 07
I would talk to her. If she is abusing ehr child then you nedd to report it. If you know about abuse and don't report it then you are just as bad as the person actually commiting the abuse.
1 person likes this
@emarie (5455)
• United States
13 Jan 07
as a mother i can understand...also, never jump to conclusions before you have the full facts. was the punch so hard that it left a mark?? sometimes just by looking at a person and the situation, you can never tell. my 2 boys are very active and don't listen to me that often. i do discipline them, but i don't abuse them. some people get different views of this. i once had an experiance where i assumed the cops were looking for signs of abuse on my younger child. one night my son was crying non stop for about 2 hours (from 7-9) around the time when i was cookinf dinner. he wasn't getting punished, he just wanted his mommy because he was teething (molars) at the time. by 10pm i had dinner cooked and him calmed down ready to go to sleep, then the police come knocking on my door asking to see my child saying someone called in. i was surprised when they were shining a light in my childs face and looking at him. it was a little cute when he just squinted at them and smiled, but still i was shocked they were even there. i asumed they were looking for abuse marks on my child. that taught me that some people need to have the full stories before jumping to an abuse accusation. i'm not saying that it doesn't happen, but most of the things i read online wondering about abuse is really sketchy. my suggestion is get the facts first. look for patterns and talk to your friend you knows her better. if you start blaming and pointing the finger saying abuse when there really is none, the mother will feel really, really bad.
@emarie (5455)
• United States
13 Jan 07
again i just want to state that i'm not condoning what she did. i don't have all the facts since the story is a little vauge.
@amber81 (288)
• United States
14 Jan 07
I would of said something Right then, But since you didnt i would probley get a hold of her and say something like...I seen how you Disiplined your daughter the other day while i was there and dont you think maybe thats alittle extreme for a two year old? Who doesnt nessacarily know what all is right from wrong? Why not try time out, or a spankin even.Be nice about it... and if she argues the fact let her know if she does that someone will turn her in! Thats not right at all a two year old knows what some things are right from wrong but not everything and no kid deserves to be treated liek that!
• United States
14 Jan 07
Tell her that her child nor any child deserves to be treated that way and if you ever see her abuse her child in any way in the future you will report her to child protective services.
• United States
13 Jan 07
try saying something in a polite way. she will probably get mad no matter what but at least you can say you attempted to do something. hopefuly if she knows she is being watched by people who think her behavior is wrong she will tink twice before doing it next time. wait till the bay is old enough to puch her back.
• United States
13 Jan 07
i donĀ“t really know but you should tell someone if the mother or father cannot speak for themselves
• India
13 Jan 07
should respond.
• India
13 Jan 07
children are boon of god so god is going to give punishment.do you think that women is going to follow your advice and listen to you patiently.its useless wait and watch
• India
13 Jan 07
just take the baby in your hand & go or a walk