Blond Problems

@rosey3223 (1569)
United States
January 12, 2007 11:23pm CST
I know that there has been a discussion or two already about this subject, blond jokes, but I received some in my email that I had never heard of before and I felt like sharing them. I'm not usually a fan of blond jokes, but these were too funny to pass up. If you have any more, please by all means share!! A Blonde's Year in Review. January Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight. February Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels... Helllloooo!!...bottles won't fit in printer !!! March Got really excited...finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months...box said "2-4 years!" April Trapped on escalator for hours...power went out!!! May Tried to make Kool Aid...wrong instructions...8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!! June Tried to go water skiing...couldn't find a lake with a slope. July Lost breast stroke swimming competition...learned later the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!! August Got locked out of my car in rain storm...car swamped because soft top was open. September The capital of California is "C"...isn't it??? October Hate M & M's...they are so hard to peel. November Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days. Instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!! December Couldn't call 911..."duh"...there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!! EXPOSURE A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast is hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?" She says, "Why, officer?" "Because your breast is hanging out." He says. She looks down and says, "OH MY G__, I left the baby on the bus again!" THE BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR - SO FAR A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut & stormed back in the house. A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" To which she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL.'"
1 person likes this
2 responses
@Serjas (2328)
• India
21 Jan 07
There were 4 sardars in Mumbai. They decided to start a business.They had a lot of discussions on the type of business and finally decided to start a hotel. They selected the best of locations and cooks and built the hotel. The hotel was inaugrated and was awaiting its first customer. The sardars waited and waited but nobody turned up. The story was the same the next day. A week passed but noboby turned up. WHY ? - Bcos there was a sign at the entrance "Visitors not allowed." After the failure of their hotel they decided to start an auto garage. They bought the best of car servicing equipments and soon started the garage. The 4 sardars waited that day for the first car to arrive but no car entered their garage. They waited for one day, 2 days ,a week but no car came to their garage. WHY ? B'cos their garage was on the first floor.
1 person likes this
@rosey3223 (1569)
• United States
21 Jan 07
Thanks for contributing!! It took me a little while to get it, but it is funny when I did!!!
@zeeterman (1067)
• United States
17 Jan 07
What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? Pregnant. What did the blondes right leg say to the left leg? Nothing, they haven't met! What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear? Data transfer. Two blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks. The first blonde said "These look like deer tracks." and the other one said: "No they look like moose tracks." They argued and argued for a while and they were still arguing when the train hit them. A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and visa-versa." Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $50!" figuring that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the match. This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five-dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer. Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer: "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his coworkers and friends he knows. All to no avail. After over an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $50. The blonde politely takes the $50 and turns away to get back to sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, so what is the answer!?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.
1 person likes this
@rosey3223 (1569)
• United States
18 Jan 07
LMAO!!! Those were good, thanks. I can't decide if I like the two brain cells one or the two blonds at the tracks...but they were all really good.