Why do you ask someone to be your friend on MyLot?

@James72 (26829)
Australia
January 13, 2007 6:51am CST
I have just realised that I don't think I have ever sent my profile to someone and asked me to add me to their friends list?? Does that make me antisocial?? Why do you do it? Is it because you have an interest in their style of posting or their viewpoint? Is it because their topics appear intelligent and have similar leanings to your beliefs? Or is it because you believe that by adding many friends you have a better chance of getting more responses? Just curious.....
5 people like this
33 responses
• Australia
14 Jan 07
I think the words "myLot friends" must mean different things to different people. When I first started with myLot I approved everyone who asked to be my friend, though I didn't request any. I didn't want to offend anyone by denying them. Now, when I receive a request, I check their profile to see their motto and interests, then check the discussions they have posted. If anything appeals to me, I'll check the discussions they have responded to, to see what quality responses they give. I do not see the point of adding friends if you are not going to enjoy a discussion with them. A number of my friends have very different interests from mine. For example, I am a Christian whose Christianity is paramount in my life, but I have friends who call themselves atheists, agnostics and pagan. I really enjoy intelligent, logical and courteous discussions with them and have come to appreciate them in many ways. They are friends. I also have a friend who must be a charming lady: she is so friendly, and I just like to chat with her. When checking friend requests I have received, I have wondered why they would ask me, but then I see that some have 300 plus friends, so I presume it is some sort of status symbol or that "friend" doesn't mean anything to them. Recently I have deleted a few from my friends list. Like many Aussies, I am on a download limit, so I need to limit the number of pages I open. I believe friends should respond to one another's discussions, and this requires opening too many pages in the "discussions my friends have started" if you have too many friends. Navigation can be cumbersome. I have recently suggested to myLot that a number assigned to each discussion would help with navigation, but I don't know how feasible that would be. Good discussion which may help newcomers.
@James72 (26829)
• Australia
15 Jan 07
Great response Cloudwatcher! It is the acceptance and tolerance of multiple viewpoints and beliefs that will ultimately make a community stronger. Navigation is definitely getting more and more cumbersome for me adn altjough I would really love to respond to everyone that takes the time to participate in something I have written I ma struggling to find the time to do it. Thanks for responding.
@annieroos (1846)
• United States
14 Jan 07
Well for me i dont really ask people to be friends, i just notice that by replying to some their discussions i will get asked.. But i am also asked out of Blue I will get a friend request. But i don't accept them all usually i go and look at their profile and see if their topics are somthing i will post on or if they will be posting on mine.. by seeing their discussions that they reply to.. i have had friends on my list that never posted on my replies so i would delete them..
@James72 (26829)
• Australia
15 Jan 07
As much as we would like to accept everyone that asks to be placed on our friends list you reasoning makes sense. It becomes too unmanageable otherwise. Thanks for responding.
@Trace86 (5034)
• United States
14 Jan 07
I pick people and ask them to be my friend if I like their style of posting and if I look at their profile and we seem to have stuff in common. I like if I see that the topics they post are things I am interested in. If I see that they seem empathetic to others and like someone I would like to meet in real life and be friends. It doesn't make you antisocial, just choosy and quiet.
@James72 (26829)
• Australia
15 Jan 07
That's probably the first time I have been referred to as quiet!! Thanks for responding.
• Indonesia
13 Jan 07
yupe, you've found out about that james =) friends are somehow gives benefit to us, and vice versa ... i look for friends with quality topics so i don't have to search all day long choosing from craps that often comes out ... and also im interesting with their opinion, belief, and of course having a new friends are way better than having a new enemies ... i don't expect much, just want to share, give, and be in place where i feels comfortable enough among the people =)
@James72 (26829)
• Australia
15 Jan 07
Well it's also how you would choose friends in the real world yes? I agree with you wholeheartedly. Thanks for responding.
• United States
19 Aug 08
When I first joined MyLot I never sent friend requests. I would have been too embarrassed if they said 'no phuckin' way you big-mouthed, vitriolic, arrogant know-it-all b!tch!' I just wooed people until they sent me one themselves. Then I got braver. I figured so what if I get a rejection? And anytime someone impressed me with a comment or a discussion topic I would send a request. But since I usually ended up deleting them after getting to know them better I just do not bother anymore. I am not an easy friend. I am fickle, uncompromising, irreligious, intolerant, self-centered and selfish. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
1 person likes this
@James72 (26829)
• Australia
19 Aug 08
I didn't either. And to be hinest I rarely do today as well. When you consider that I have been a member for over two years now and have less than 100 friends on my list, this is pretty much proof of my lack of proactivity here! "I usually end up deleting them after getting to know them better!" THIS is an interesting statement! Let's see hopw long I can last then! lol. Thanks for responding.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Aug 08
Ummm, James, you are not ON my friends list! And since neither of us makes friend requests I don't know how you're going to get there either!!
1 person likes this
@James72 (26829)
• Australia
19 Aug 08
I'm not??? OK. Well I will be the bigger person then! lol. Here comes the request...... Try to keep me there for at least a week ok? Ha ha.
1 person likes this
• Thailand
15 Jan 07
This is a contriversial one = )a great topic too. People have a lot of reasons why they invite friends in mylot. First reason could be that they honestly want to make friends here, maybe thats one reason that they joined this community in the first place. Now for the hard truth...some people invite other users to be their friend in the hope that someone will respond to the topic they posted, notice the feature "notify friends when you made a post". Personally i don't intiate in sending invitations to users, and i agree im not anti social as you are. I just don't like people misinterpreting my purpose in inviting them. Do you wonder if i have freinds here in mylot? yes of course i do, i didn't send them invitaion to be my friend, they are the ones who invited me and i am very honored for such an invitation.
@James72 (26829)
• Australia
15 Jan 07
I too am flattered to be invited onto someone friends list. Especially if it is because they believe that I have something of intelligence and interest to say! Thanks for responding.
@flikkenni (540)
• Indonesia
14 Jan 07
Maybe many people in mylot ask you to be friend just because they want their discussion to be responded. More friend you will get more responses for your discussion, it means you will earn more money as well. Honestly, i ask someone to be friend is just because i want them to respond against my discussion. I think you should ask people who have a good rating points so your discussion will be more interesting.
1 person likes this
@fsk147 (27)
• Qatar
14 Jan 07
i agree with this
@Script (592)
• Australia
14 Jan 07
I only invite people to add me to their friends list if we share similar interests and ideas. I like responding to the discussions that the people on my friends list have started because they interest me and because I generally have something to say regarding their topics. I don't have to agree with the things that the people on my friends list are saying all the time. As long as their posts are intelligent and thoughtful I don't mind. As far as people adding me, I look at all the requests and view the profile of the person that wants to be added as my friend. I look at the topics they have started and responded to. I'm not likely to add someone as a friend if they haven't asked thoughtful questions at least a few times. And if they only respond with one or two word answers there is no way I would add them on my friend list. The whole idea of this site is to build up a community and create discussions. I don't want to have discussions with people that are only about making a few extra dollars here and give stupid answers to reach that goal.
1 person likes this
@James72 (26829)
• Australia
15 Jan 07
Agreed! Good things come to those who post well! And let's not reward those who don't..... Thanks for responding.
@shywolf (4522)
• United States
14 Jan 07
I don't usually send that many friend requests out. When I do, it is for all the reasons you stated *laugh* Mainly, I really love getting email notifications about friend's topics here at Mylot, so I definitely want to find all of the users on here that post topics that I find interesting and get them added to my friend list so that it is easier for me to know when they post something new. I also think that it's a great way to get more people replying to you. But honestly, I don't think that most people on my list reply to my topics unless I reply to theirs, which is only fair! ^_^ And I enjoy replying to my friend's topics whenever possible, anyway! ^_^
1 person likes this
@James72 (26829)
• Australia
15 Jan 07
I actually turned off the response to email function. It was driving me crazy! I too would like to respond to people's topics occasionally that respond to mine but am finding it harder and harder to do that. I hope no one takes it personally! Thanks for responding.
• South Africa
15 Jan 07
I tend to invite people to become friends, if I find the topics they post interesting... It makes it easier to find interesting topics when I come to mylot.
1 person likes this
@miryam (6510)
• Italy
14 Jan 07
I ask a few friend, also theyr request my friendly and I accept but if I quest are for a good avatar a good discussion, or for meet a new people.......Bye
1 person likes this
• Romania
14 Jan 07
I have only 2 friends till now. I added them because everywhere we have same interests, we play same games, and we have what to talk about
1 person likes this
@unshiv (83)
• India
14 Jan 07
asking someone to be my friend on mylot is to share the ideas and grow our referal network .this makes the friend feel that they important to us and they feel great about us .this is my kind of growing friends network.
1 person likes this
@alkapuri (77)
• India
14 Jan 07
I ask generally to discuss about personal problems.
1 person likes this
@Jamian (2605)
• Philippines
14 Jan 07
I ask a friend on mylot so that I could have more responses and also invite some of them to join in other sites.
1 person likes this
• Portugal
14 Jan 07
I ask someone to be my friend when I read some of that member discussions or responses that really interests me, that´s why.
1 person likes this
@smille (831)
• India
14 Jan 07
i add friends when i find their replies and discussions touch me, and thus u can hv more frnds here and if u get close u can exchange views in private and one more thing u can check 'discussions ur friends started 'catagory i wuold go for it first.
@anne_143god (5390)
• Philippines
14 Jan 07
I ask someone because I think that person has the same interest as mind and so with adding them as a friend when they are requesting me to be their friend. Maybe one reason also is if I want to ask question I can ask alot of people directly.
@kathy77 (7488)
• Australia
14 Jan 07
No you do not send your profile to anyone.. but you say you have never asked anybody to add them to your friends list. No it does not necessarily make you antisocial. I have done it when I have noticed that someone is my friend that does not know I am here also when I wanted to contact someone from that particular country.
1 person likes this
@mkirby624 (1599)
• United States
14 Jan 07
I never ask anyone to be my friend either. I get at least one friend request a week and have never heard of these people before, but approve them anyway. I rarely read my friends' posts either. I usually just go to the main screen and shift through those discussions.
1 person likes this