Urgent! - need input from people with Depression!

Serbia And Montenegro
January 13, 2007 7:06am CST
Hi all, especially people suffering depression including bipolar, mania, etc. I'm trying to cool down right now as i am writing this. I've typed quite long but then the page went to blank. And my hands are trembling right now, and my mood is imbalance. I hv a blog regarding depression which i jz started, for me to understand my reasons to depression and help understand it by connecting with others who experience the same thing, and hope to benefit others as well. im still on medication and still recovering. i had once started to believe that the darkness btween me and my family could be lifted up. but lost hope after wat has just happened (just now). i wanted to write in the blog that the depressed dont always want to hold things back, but when they hope to recover they wish to discuss things they didnt use to more openly with ppl they (hope to) trust. but then i thought or is it just me? what other ppl who suffer from depression feel abt this? i need to know what YOU feel abt this. do you want 2 talk more openly to others in the hope to recover or u wouldnt want to talk abt them and let urself recover w/out letting ppl know abt most of the things you hide? tell me plss.......
10 people like this
30 responses
@den85730 (51)
• United States
13 Jan 07
You are not alone! I go through the same thing, and, other's in my family do to. Only I'm the one who at least tries to bring the "fun" into disfunctional. Hahahahaha. By seeing the avatar you have displayed, I can only guess that you are of the younger generation. Let me "pull your chain" a little. I'll guess, between the age of 12 and 16. I'm sorry if I'm wrong, but it is an indication that you have more than a depression problem. You have a lack of maturity to cope with what life is offering you too. One of the reasons that things are "getting" to you is that you do not have the maturity (experience) level to "take on" what goes on in your life right now. You NEED to accept that you are not in control. You need to hand that control over. In my life, I make every effort to hand over that control to my higher power who is God, and I do so in the name of Jesus. If you are not familiar with Jesus, the Holy Bible is the book for you to read. Christianity or religion is not the only "higher power" for you to seek for handing over your broken expectations over to. I will also asume that you have a therapist or psychiatrist you are getting prescriptions from for your medications. At this point, THEY are a higher power to turn to, but, you have to be completely honest with them without reservation. The "darkness" is an excuse for you not coming out into the light. Quit making excuses and blaming everybody else for your feelings. By knowing those feelings to be temporary anger and fear within your own self, will alow you to know that even though these feelings are real, the permanency is NOT. That "darkness" can be lifted up between you and your family just by knowing that they most likely ARE on your side and that they really DO LOVE YOU. You have to make some radical changes, though. Get out of "yourself" and realize they are the ones who really can help you if you LET them. That's all for now. Let's see what others have to say. Hey, I and many others are "on your side" if you want to open your mind and heart. You may never recover, but the process of recovering is most important.
• Serbia And Montenegro
13 Jan 07
Thank you so much for your response, because i was really waiting for answers bcos i want to know what other ppl are feeling. I understand what your saying. i believe inspirituality key in recovering. but for u yourself, do u want your family to know abt the sadness you are feeling while recovering or not to let them know? thanks again..
2 people like this
• Australia
13 Jan 07
I cannot believe how lightly you take mental illness! It is not about God or some higher being, it is in the brain, that means chemical imbalances to name just one. You basically told this person to snap out of it and I think that is disgraceful. You cannot simply snap out of it, it takes much longer than that and believe me if it was as easy as asking god for help, there would be not one mentally disturbed perosn on this planet.
3 people like this
• Romania
13 Jan 07
i don't know if it's necessarily about maturity. no offence but i don't know if u talk from u'r own experience or from studies u had done so far on this matter but i think u have the wrong approach. u sound like the person who's suffering from depression is guilty for that. and it's totally wrong. a depressive person doesn't want anything elese in this world than to get back to a normal life. and it's not his or god's fault he can't do that. u cannot treat depression with prayers only. prayers and god are spiritual healers, the depressive person needs medication. his body suffers from unbalances and he needs medication to compensate those problems, just like if u break a leg u will need a doctor coz as far as i know prayers can't fix broken bones. about the other aspect yes there is definetly a need to talk about this. however u should consider to whom to turn to, since talking to a narrow or a person who has preconceptions about this might cause u more harm then well. u need to talk to someone who had experienced this before maybe, or a very close friend willing to help u and encourage u rather then judge u. u should keep in mind that being depressive makes u very shaky and each input of someone might affect u in 1 way or another. so when it comes to u'r need of expressing very emotional and personal experiences and feelings choose very careful the person u are willing to share all this so that talking openly about u'r problems can help u, instead of harming u. hugs and blesses to u, u are on the right way if u are so determinated of sharing u'r experiences, since that is one of the most difficutlts things so far when dealing with depresion - admitting and dealing with it by talking open about it-.
2 people like this
@lonewolfnan (4367)
• Canada
14 Jan 07
I believe I know what you are saying.I suffer thru chronic depression and when I do feel ready to talk about it,I realize people really do not want to hear it(or it seems to me as they can not understand where I am coming from). Right now I am doing the wrong thing in that I am keeping it bottled up as I feel others have enough on their plates without me adding to it.
• Serbia And Montenegro
14 Jan 07
EXACTLY! Exactly what i'm trying to say here. It's as if they think by talking about it, we'd get worst. But we NEED to talk to others.
• Melbourne, Florida
14 Jan 07
I wish I could respond thoroughly to this discussion, but all my good stuff is in my computer files, and I can't really get it to you until I can cut and paste. I am a life coach, and I help people balance their lives and get through times like these. I would love for you to come visit myspace. www.myspace.com/teriross This is where I communicate with the whole world, and read my blogs, there is a lot of good stuff there. I have asked to be your friend, so I can stay in touch, and help you through this as well Peace, Love and Jello Pudding
1 person likes this
• Serbia And Montenegro
14 Jan 07
I'll read your blog throughly. It's loading now. Thank you very much, it's such an honour to have "met" someone who knows better about this.
• Romania
13 Jan 07
I used to keep it to myself,but it lasted so long and I couldn't get ridd of the pain by myself...so I asked for help,I failed a few times trusting people that couldn't understand or who didn't actually care...But I finally found friends in old people,ones who have the experience of a lifetime...and it's so much easyer...I say you sholdn't sgare this with everyone,only peple you get to trust,and feel they could help u...Be strong!All people die but not all of them live!
1 person likes this
• Serbia And Montenegro
13 Jan 07
Thank you a lot. True, the pain lasted so long til we couldn't get rid of it ourselves. Same with me too. Thanks for sharing.
@missyd79 (3438)
• United States
13 Jan 07
i hold alot back when it comes to my friends and family, espically my family. I do not tell them exactly what i am going through because they just quit do not understand it, espically my mom. I can never get her to just truely listen to me, she hears what i say but doesn't truely understand me, it has been that was since i was like 10. keeping a blog is a good thing, because it gets your feelings out but not leaving you vulernable to getting rejected by your loved ones.
1 person likes this
• Serbia And Montenegro
13 Jan 07
Omg, you are exactly the same as me. My most problem , i hate to say it out in the open like this, but it's my mom. It's very complicated relationship between us.
@sbeauty (5870)
• United States
13 Jan 07
I've had depression all my life, and I understand fully what you're dealing with. I could, and still can't, discuss it with my mother, because she doesn't believe it is a real condition. Personally I think she suffers from it and is in denial, but whatever. I've found that when I'm in major depression, no one can help me. I cry a lot and want to just curl up in my bed and sleep so that I can find relief. It is a terrible darkness with no light at the end of the tunnel. Or so you think. You feel physically drained and have no energy to do anything. The key to it all for any of us is medication. Until I finally found Zoloft which has worked well for me for the last 10 years, I had a lot of ups and downs. Little things in your life can set it off, and major things in your life blow it out of the water. So get yourself to the doctor and get onto whatever medicine he wants you to try first. There's no stigma attached to depression any more, so go get the help you need.
1 person likes this
• Serbia And Montenegro
13 Jan 07
This is exactly what i'm talking about. Because some family members are still the state of denial. And to me i have realized it torment me more than i realized this way.
1 person likes this
@plantit1 (298)
• United States
13 Jan 07
I use to suffer from darkness alot until I turned 40. Then I had an experience that woke me up from what I call the illusionay world. All I could do was laugh and laugh and laugh. You know what, I discovered that happiness is a choice. No matter what the heck is going on we can still choose to be happy just because it feels better to. So when depression came I would see it and not have to identity with it anymore. This does take some practice but the less power we give to depression the weaker it gets, and it will pass quicker. Clincial depression on the other hand is more difficult to deal with. I have had this also due to hormonal imbalance. No fighting that. Just take meds and magicallly its gone. Good luck to you.
• Serbia And Montenegro
13 Jan 07
Yeah, i see your points. I know happiness is a choice. Like what i read on the self-help depression book. But as reading the book and agreeing to it is easy, i find that when i need to apply it in action, it isn't that easy. Not sure if just by "taking the meds and magically it's gone" would actually work for everyone.
1 person likes this
@kelly60 (4548)
• United States
30 Jan 07
In theory it may be 'magically gone', but in real life? Easier said than done. I suppose it might be true if the depression were really mild, but not so with more severe cases of depression. You can not always just 'choose to be happy', nor is your depression 'magically gone'. If it works for you though, that's great.
• Serbia And Montenegro
30 Jan 07
thanks again, kell!
• United States
14 Jan 07
I actually get depressed very often pretty much every day. I stress out easily and panic. I usually hold everything in because I am just so used to doing that since I was young. I feel like if I were to talk to someone about my problems that it would be putting a burden on them and I don't want to do that to them. I have been told many times not to do this but I still do. I am the type of person that I like to help others alot and try to get my friends and family to talk to me when they are having a problem. I find that writing music and poems really help alot for me. Good Luck.
• Serbia And Montenegro
14 Jan 07
That's a very good idea! But i don't really have talent in writing music. :(
• United States
19 Jan 07
if you like to draw or paint or something like that you can also do that and see how it works for you. =0) if you wanted to write music and need help I am always willing to help in the music department. LOL
@linda345 (2661)
• Canada
13 Jan 07
First of all I am confused are you manic or depressed right now. You say your mood is unstable. Sometimes myself I have that rapid cycling which I hate. I know how hard it can be having your family understand your illness. My doctor says sometimes you even have to limit the time you spend with them until you feel alittle stronger. Don't ever give up hope or stop taking your medications. I have talked to people in the past and been burned about my illness. But in general I find people are becoming more open about mental illness. How long have you been diagnosed with bipolar? Do you have a doctor? Do you have more depressive states than manic? Have you been to any group therapy sessions? I did one for bipolar and found it great. They had a session at the end that invited the family and explained alittle about bipolar. It also taught the family indications I may be getting manic or depressed. I have been diagnosed 5 years. I have tried many different medications. One thing you have to accept you will always take medications. Self help groups are great. If you ever feel you are getting too depressed or manic get yourself to your doctor or hospital. Talk to a good friend. Find someone you can talk to, I have and it helps.
@linda345 (2661)
• Canada
16 Jan 07
Keeping presisting and visiting with your doctor until you feel better. If you think you need a medication change talk to him, sometimes our bodys can tell more than anything.
• Canada
31 Jan 07
I think it's important to have someone to talk to - but not just anyone. It has to be someone who you can trust not to judge. Usually, a family member can't do this...they are to emotionally close to you. I have been seeing a therapist for over three years, and it is amazing talking to him - I get such clarity just from talking things over with someone who is not emotionally involved in my life. It's true - we are effected by our childhood ... and the only way to stop that is to become aware of how it is happening. Talkint to someone can really help.
• Serbia And Montenegro
31 Jan 07
I believe that too. It's just that now i seem to lose hopes in everyone, you know. I don't know how to say it.. but this is what i feel after failing many times.
@kaysee (41)
• Malaysia
31 Jan 07
would like to respond to your discussion here, but me myself is quite depress lately. i'll be back too share something.
• Serbia And Montenegro
31 Jan 07
OK, no problem, i'll wait. :)
@fabwisp (1328)
30 Jan 07
Hi. I can tell you are all in a muddle from your post. I have never been officially diagnosed with a disorder and refuse to stay on medication, but they seem to think anxiety/bipolar/paranoya type area lol. I think I understand your question but not sure. If you are asking if i want to talk about all the things that make me do wat i do now, then the answer is yes and no. sometimes i'd love to tell someone how my childhood still affects my daily decisions, then other times i refuse to even accept that it happens, i'm in control of what i do lol. Its a hard one. But if you wanna chat to someone send me a message n while i cant promise to give good advice i can certainly try.
• Serbia And Montenegro
30 Jan 07
THANKS A LOT! Knowing there are still people like you out there really helps people like me.
@kelly60 (4548)
• United States
30 Jan 07
I am lucky enough to have a family who understands what I am going through. If you aren't comfortable talking to your family, you may have a friend that you can talk to. If not, you might want to talk to a therapist or conselor. Sometimes talking can help, and if there is no one else to talk to, this may be a good option for you. You don't have to do it alone. There are people there for you. I was diagnosed with depression years ago and have been on several different medications for it over the years. If you find that one is not working well for you, make sure you let your doctor know so that another one can be tried since one may work better for one person than another. Be sure to take your medications as prescribed. Don't stop taking them even if you start to feel better. This can send you into a downward spiral. (I know from past experience.)
• Serbia And Montenegro
30 Jan 07
Thanks for your advice. But now i've given up talking to any of those people; family, friends, doctors, counsellors. Maybe i'm going back to the me who used to hide everything, every single thing.
@jep_toyo (1607)
• Philippines
14 Jan 07
I dont suffer from any kind of depression or similar condition. But i guess talking with someone about your worries, fears, feelings, anger and the like will help you lessen the burden you are suffering. Whenever i feel down and lonely i try to look for friends who i can share my troubles, i dont ask them to advice, talk or console me. I just want to unload the burden that i am carrying. Then im Ok. Maybe you can join groups or a community where you can talk about depression or anything. A support group will also be beneficial to your condition. I hope i was able to help you. ^_^ take care!
• Serbia And Montenegro
15 Jan 07
Thanks. I do feel a little better now after a day passed. Thanks again.
@Languish (137)
14 Jan 07
Well - clearly you suffer quite badly (more so than myself)... but the best idea, in my opinion, is to break away and do some things that are relaxing. Go have a shower/bath, have a coffee and watch some TV, go for a walk... anything to avoid contemplating what is bothering you right now. Take care.
• Serbia And Montenegro
15 Jan 07
Yeah...i just thought i would do that. Thank you, pal.
@anne_143god (5390)
• Philippines
14 Jan 07
Its good for a person experiencing depression if they will talk to someone who wil give them advice and who will listen to them for if they only keep it from themselves it will lead to big problem and to deep depression.
• Serbia And Montenegro
15 Jan 07
Yeah, I thought so too. At least i know now it's not just me who thought so. Thanks.
@lovein (345)
• India
14 Jan 07
Focussing on work you do now , in this moment is the only solution. Thanks
• Serbia And Montenegro
14 Jan 07
Thank you, i'm doing that right now.
@Perry2007 (2229)
• Philippines
14 Jan 07
Congratulations! the fact that you realize there is a problem and you are trying to reach out for help is a big leap to freedom. You have strength and power inside you to rise above every situation you may experience, You have a power of will to overcome every negative aspect in your life, You have the courage to stand on your own two feet and spirit to guide you improve your present situation. Think positive, reject negative; Work towards being financially independent, emotionally independent and physically independent. You have all the energy in you to become the best person you can think you can become. Be sober, be vigilant, work one day at a time towards achieving what you want and need to be. Have faith and be strong. God Loves you. You are a child of the Universe.
• Serbia And Montenegro
14 Jan 07
Thank you so very much.
@boogasmom (149)
• United States
14 Jan 07
I have had bouts with depression all my life. Since I was a child, I can remember trying to deal with it myself. I didn't want to "Bother" people with my problems. I have worked through some pretty tuff times. I know what it is like to want to talk about it, and yet you can't. I never had the chance to see a doctor or get medication. To this day I am 26 years old and still deal with it on my own. I know there are people out there that have had a lot harder lives then I have. You know the one thing that has kept me going?? Something my father has told me since I was a child. "God will never give you more then you can handle." It wasn't until I was grown that I discovered just how true that statement is. I am not a very religious person, but I do believe in God. I know that turning to him and believing in myself has gotten me through. I now am happily married with three beautiful children. Life is not smooth, but I take it one day at a time. I learned a long time ago that when I couldn't talk to others if nothing else I could put it on paper. It doesn't solve it, but it lifts the rock off your chest. So that if nothing else, you can move through it. I hope this helps. Good luck to you.
• Serbia And Montenegro
14 Jan 07
Thank you for sharing that. It was so fortunate for you.
@sharon613 (2323)
• United States
14 Jan 07
Hi: I'm glad you brought this up. I currently have anxiety depression and my daughter who is 17 is Bipolar and is also taking medication. She is on Bilafy. The two of us are just trying to take it one day at a time and I hope you do the same. My user name here on mylot is Sharon613, feel free to get in contact with me anytime.
• Serbia And Montenegro
14 Jan 07
Hi sharon, i'll get in contact with you some time. Already requested u as friend. Yeah, i'm hoping to take it very slowly, one step at a time. That's what i'm actually doing right now. I have been pushing myself too much all those years, now i'm taking some steps back. Ppl say this illness is genetic, i think that's why we commonly hear it happens to more than one person in a family.