help me plzzz..my best friend proposed me?? what to do??

India
January 15, 2007 3:24am CST
friends i need help and your suggestion.saturday night my best friend amit called me he told me to come at dinner. iasked why he was giving the party? he told he will tell when i will come there. i agreed. when i went there we had dinner. then he took me to the pool side. and there he proposed me. i never thought of that. i was completely shocked.i have never seen him that way. i asked for time to think. i am very tense tell me what to do.he is my best friend i dont want to loose haim. directly i cant say no. he will be hurt.......
17 people like this
144 responses
@suman76 (648)
• India
15 Jan 07
Don't take the decision in a hurry. You don't talk to him for 2-3 day and busy yourself. In these 3 days if you remember him or not living without him then I think you also have some soft love toward him in your heart. Secondly you think if he good if you keep in her your in your wouldbe hubby place does he have those qualities . If yes then there is no harm in accepting his offer. It's my suggetion that you can marry that person who loves you not you love him.
2 people like this
• India
15 Jan 07
he is a part of my life but as a friend....... he is good but ...............
2 people like this
• India
15 Jan 07
avoid him for 2 or three days. then see changes in your feeling.
2 people like this
@opinder (421)
• India
15 Jan 07
thats a sensible thing to do.
1 person likes this
@chip77 (143)
• Italy
15 Jan 07
He likes you? If yes, why not? is an xperience... ;)
2 people like this
• India
15 Jan 07
i have never seen him in that way..... he is just my friend yaar.
2 people like this
@lastwish (780)
• India
15 Jan 07
he is your friend you knows him better try to say him whats in ur heart
• Canada
15 Jan 07
he is your best friend and you're saying you never see him in that way then... after proposing why not you tried to think in this way now... ask your heart what it really wants. i think you both know each other and share lots of common interets so why not get a chance. if you are still confuse then talk with him openly...after all he is your best friend naa.
• India
15 Jan 07
By going about your story it seems that the Guy "Amit" doesn't possess Good Looks. He may be intelligent but not smart in terms of his overall personality. I think you are an engineering student and you can wait for the nice guy to come to you. Don't take any decision in haste as they are to be given serious thought and any loose decision can spoil your life and career. You can take this as a freind advice.
2 people like this
• India
15 Jan 07
he is just as smart as you. but he is a shy person and i am only a female friend of him.
3 people like this
• India
15 Jan 07
gr8mind084, as u said that u r his only female friend - may be thats the reason why he proposed. u know - every guy needs femae companionship - and since u r the only one around - he wanted to make sure that u staty with him - and dont go anywhere else.
1 person likes this
@iloveit (316)
• Canada
15 Jan 07
I agree with akchaykumar. You are young and will many people at work, at college and overall in life and you have time to think, so why rush. Give it a thought, do you really want to spend the rest of your life with him? what if later on you meet someone nicer than this person, what would you do then. In younger years girls and even boys tend to get confused when they get any proposal or anythink they think as a proposal. I would suggest take your time.
@ezzrssi (11195)
• Italy
15 Jan 07
mmm you should see if you want him otherwize tell him no
2 people like this
• India
15 Jan 07
how can isay directly no. i dont want to hurt him.......
2 people like this
• United States
15 Jan 07
He's not the only one involved in this decision. This is something that is going to affect the rest of your life. What if the marriage doesn't work out? You'll lose him that way as well...
@opinder (421)
• India
15 Jan 07
you have to give it time...that's for sure. otherwise you'll ruin a relationship and lose a good friend. try to avoid himm for a few days. don't stress yourself too much over this. at times thinking too much also harms. just carry on with your normal routine....minus him(for a few days). since you are not committed to anyone, you could think of a future with him...where lies the harm?
2 people like this
• India
15 Jan 07
i have not committed with any one. but my parents doesnt like my friendship with him........ if i think of a relationship with him. my parents will oppose.......
2 people like this
• India
15 Jan 07
if u like him u say s its the matter of u r life don't think that if i say no he'll feel and i'll loose a best friend in my life i'm giving that if u like his behaviour and other good qualities u say as ur wish nowadays love is all about the attraction and all and we r not founding a true love if u feel as he is feeling u 'll loose ur future and life do as u like its ur personal matter
2 people like this
@raveemenon (1071)
• India
15 Jan 07
The inevitable has happened. perhaps you never wished it. life is like that. then the way girls see friendship and boys see the same in India is different. I feel he could not understand you . But there is nothing wrong in him proposing to yousince it is the boy who always propose and how can u prevent it? think other way if anytime you had given a doubt to make him beleive that you love him? If you had a wish to marry him and if he ahd not proposed how would you have felt? All said and done now you are in a peculiar situation. either you may lose your friend and get a husband. Or you may lose both since very rarely you both can continue as the friends as you are now. That is you almost lost your friend so why not gain a husband?
• India
15 Jan 07
ya i am feeling the same. but i am not very much attracted towards him. right now i am in so tension that i cant tell you.
3 people like this
@iloveit (316)
• Canada
15 Jan 07
that explains your situation. If you dont want to go ahead with this then dont. perhaps he only has you as a female friend and he wanted to try his luck. I have seen that before and once their interest is over (and I hope you know what I mean by that), relationship is over.
• India
16 Jan 07
Ya, I agree with ilovit. The same thing also happened with one of my friends. After some time my freind's boyfriend left her coz he thought they were better off as good friends rather than lovers. I have seen her in a hell lot of pain after that. So I think u should not take any decision in haste. Rather than u should give it some time, so that none of u have to regret later.
@LeoLive (18)
• India
15 Jan 07
Hi there. I think you should have told him at that very moment, in a friendly way, with a smile, that you do not see him in such a way and consider him as a good friend, instead of getting tense yourself and raising his hopes. Tell him the truth. There is no point in prolonging your agony and keeping him in mystery. You know things like this happen in life. Go ahead and tell him.
• India
15 Jan 07
i was shocked at that time.
1 person likes this
• India
16 Jan 07
But with each passing day you are raising his hopes. He could be waiting for your reply.That is not a good thing. You must let him know.
@inked4life (4227)
• United States
15 Jan 07
If you have to ask how to respond to the proposal then your answer should be "no". Only when you are completely in love and completely sure you want to spend the rest of your life with someone should you answer yes
1 person likes this
@ronita34 (3923)
• Canada
15 Jan 07
I think that this is a great response to your question as well as absolutely correct. If you haev to ask about this then your answer should definately be a no. You can not make your own self miserable to make another happy!
• India
15 Jan 07
we can only give suggestions. you have to take decisions what to do. i feel some more good solutions are yet to come.
1 person likes this
• India
15 Jan 07
ya i have to take decision. i am also waiting for your suggestions. you friends have given me good suggestions. i am thankful to you.
@melody1011 (1664)
• India
15 Jan 07
Since he is your best friend it is normal that you would not want to lose him as a friend. So very gently tell him you love him as a friend and you dont see him in any other way. If you string him on your relationship will get strained. YOu have to tell him how you feel. There can be no 2 ways around this.
1 person likes this
• India
15 Jan 07
thanks a lot friends. you have given me good ideas. but still i am in dilemma what to do......
• Philippines
15 Jan 07
are you currently boyfriends and girlfriends? i don't think so. then, why should he asked you for marriage? if you are just friends, i suppose so, then he would'nt have the nerve to do tHE proposing thing for a friend.
1 person likes this
• India
15 Jan 07
in india its differnt yaar. i think you will not understand
1 person likes this
• Pakistan
16 Jan 07
I want to say some thing if u think some anyone person who loves u and he not loves u so much he can hurt you and anyone you know that he loves you so much if you have not any lover before this this is so much opportunity for it so can think i idea u that marry with him and gave him so much love and your life full of happiness such oppertunities not come again think please thank you
@mishald (176)
• India
16 Jan 07
Since he is your best friend... u have 2 talk 2 him calmly. explain 2 him how important the friendship is to u. Tell him that right now u do not have any feelings appart from friendship for him... tell him maybe in time things may happen. but 4 the moment u definitely do not want to loose his friendship
1 person likes this
@thekiwi (588)
• United States
16 Jan 07
Well if you only like him as a friend try telling him that you want to wait and go on a few "real dates" first, cause you never looked at him in this angel, as a husband. If he loves you, he will understand.
@toonatoons (3739)
• Philippines
16 Jan 07
how do you love your bestfriend? do you love him romantically or is it a platonic kind of love? sure, you must love your bestfriend, but it is one thing to love him as a friend, and another thing to be really in love. i hope i didn't add to your confusion. lol!
1 person likes this
@Pekachu (1114)
• United States
15 Jan 07
well do you love him you say you dont think of him that way maybe tell him you need to date him first if you are interested in any way
1 person likes this
@181182 (20)
• India
15 Jan 07
Well I respect ur feeling and do understand ur concern. But i would only like to focus on the point that u say Amit is ur best frnd and only a best frnd can understand the feeling of a frnd better than anyone else. Now I think that u know ur frnd very well and if possible you should give Amit a chance, mau be like a very gud frnd he may turn out to be a very gud life partner. But if u cant accept him as ur life partner than u can always speak to him directly over this matter and I am sure that if he really loves you and respects you than he would continue to be your frnd rather than insisting further on the other relationship.
@Sawsen (795)
• United States
15 Jan 07
Ok first of all, I'm sure you must've noticed some signs that he was interested in you as more than a friend. And if so, you should've tried to putting a stop to it before he got any further to the point of wanting to marry you. I'm not saying that his actions are wrong, or that your actions are wrong, I'm just saying one person is going to hurt, or both of you are going to get hurt. If you don't feel the same way, you're going to have to tell him, because I wouldn't recommend saying yes just so you don't have to hurt his feelings. Maybe you could explain to him that you don't feel the same way, and ask if maybe you could still be friends. I know it's a tough call, but give it a shot and see where it leads you. :)
1 person likes this
• India
15 Jan 07
it all depends on you dear..if you really feel that he is the 1 with whom u want to spend all ur life then dont waste time n get hold of him n if u feel that he is not the one then atleast b true to him bcoz he is ur best frnd..isn't it???
1 person likes this