Does it bother you that some parents let their kids be unruly?

@juls2me2 (2151)
United States
October 4, 2006 9:51am CST
like scream or run around in a grocery store, restaurant, other stores.
2 people like this
34 responses
@1alyssa (758)
• United States
4 Oct 06
oh yes that drives me nuts and i understand that it is hard with the laws that are in place but that is no reason to let your child just do whatever i have problems with my kids all the time and it gets hard when they just don't want to listen but you can't just give up on them you don't have the right to do that and parenting is not suppost to be easy you have to stick with it no matter how had it is that is your job call your pastor for advice the doctor other family members the school friends who ever you can but don't give up
2 people like this
@juls2me2 (2151)
• United States
5 Oct 06
I totally agree with what you're saying. I believe you can discipline your child in a decent way and keep them in control. I feel there is nothing wrong with a slight spank on the butt when needed. Time outs work great too. When I went shopping, I always kept the kids inside the baskets and would either bring something for them to play with or they could hold one item at the store during the trip, but they always had to put it back without a fuss. On occassion I'd buy the item they choose, or would bribe them with riding the merry-go-round in front of the store if they were really good. At costco, the big reward was going to the water machine and getting a water bottle. I've also had to walk my children to the restroom for a talk and butt swat if they misbehaved at dinner. One night we even had to return 3 times to the restroom. The thing is consistency and the kids get to know their limits. Another hint is the counting...1...2...3..., but you have to establish a discipline...be it swat on the butt or loss of privilige and on 3 it has to be followed through. My boys are nearly adults and the 1...2....3...still works. I've tested it without their knowing and man at number 2 they're up and doing what was asked....Love it! They're great boys and the discipline is minimal as teens. With the Lord's help and consistency with consequences for their behavior, they do learn to do what's right. Don't give in to their tantrums and don't give up with being consistent, that's the key!
1 person likes this
@tortoise (181)
• United States
5 Oct 06
Wow, you asked the question but, you explained it the best. You could open your own advice site. That was good.
@juls2me2 (2151)
• United States
6 Oct 06
Thanks....
@bhbirdie6 (1771)
• United States
7 Oct 06
It bothers me so much when parents can't control their children. I've seen a lot of comments on abuse here and one thing I'd like to mention is that abuse is not limited to physical abuse. There is verbal, psychological, and emotional abuse. I have a friend who's parents abuse her verbally and emotionally to the point where she came to live with my family for a while. She now has serious psychological problems and has trouble socializing. This kind of abuse goes wholly unnoticed because courts want to see a bruise. They want to blood or a broken bone or a physical disruption. But how do you show a broken heart? Sadly, this kind of abuse is rarely if ever mentioned, and corrected even less.
• United States
6 Oct 06
It does bother me quite a bit, and the parents are not even paying attention to them at all, and just let them carry on in the store, places where quiet is needed and won't take them outside to rectify the situation. Then I also watch parents go to the extreme in disciplining their child and they do not need to go that far. It really comes down to taking the time to spend with their children, and having good disciplinary action.
2 people like this
@juls2me2 (2151)
• United States
6 Oct 06
Great point! Half the time all the ruckus the kids make are because they want your attention. If you make time with them to play, do house chores, read, anything, it will make a world of difference.
• United States
5 Oct 06
Yes it does. Kids are so unruly and disrespectful these days. Parents have gotten soft and they refuse to spank their children. 50 years ago parents disciplined their kids and that included spanking them and children back then respected their parents. My children know better than to kick and scream when we are out somewhere. They know that if they do, they will not only not get what they want, they will be in big trouble. The other day I was in Walmart and there was this little boy that was about the same age as my youngest daughter who is 4. He kept screaming and crying because his mom wouldn't get him everything he pointed out. Instead of being firm with her son and telling him how it was going to be, she kept say, "Now now, I know honey. It's ok." How pathetic. It's not the kid's fault, it's the parents!
2 people like this
7 Oct 06
It is bothersome however i feel that parents need to get to the core of why there kids are unruly. I'm a father of two and i've found that many parents these days have lost the knowledge of how to deal with the situation without resorting to physical discipline. Most are to proud to recieve help to learn how to communicate with there children or go into complete denile on the subject. I do have some (not all) knowledge on the subject as i take classes, yes classes, and these classes teach me how to talk and control my children but also these classes teach your children how to listen to there parents and abide by what the parent is saying. I know it sounds weird but my sons response to this is amazing, i have a totally different little boy who obeys me and i don't need to yell or resort to physical discipline. Don't however think this is a quick fix , it's very demanding to get the results you want and sometimes extremely frustrating but perseverance wins in the end. Anyway, think i'm straying way from the topic but YES it bothers me and especially when they ignore what there kids are doing and continue with what there doing instead of dealing with there children.
1 person likes this
@DRoddy77 (1778)
• United States
7 Oct 06
I think it is extremely disrespectful to let your children run around and scream and yell in the middle of restaurants or grocery stores. Usually the parents are busy chatting with other people and arent even paying attention to their kids or dont even care! Atleast show that you are trying to discipline them! If your kids are getting out of control and you dont want to cause a scene, take them out to the car or the bathroom for a time out!
1 person likes this
@makatron (503)
• Dominican Republic
7 Oct 06
it does, like when your in the bank waiting and there is a lil hooligan jumping and making loads of noise disturbing evrybody in there and the parent is just smiling doing nothing as long as you dont abuse of your childs you should let them know whos the boss
1 person likes this
@bblessed (1822)
• United States
6 Oct 06
yes, play for cash http://www.netwinner.com/?signupCode=blessed
1 person likes this
@tater03 (1765)
• United States
6 Oct 06
Yes, at times it can bother me. I know when my two act up I march them right to the car. I have left a reastarant before my dinner was even served because one of them was acting up. Once they realized I meant business and would really leave they learned real quick.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Oct 06
Yes, especially when the parent ignores the behavior and just walks ahead of the child like they don't exist.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Oct 06
Yes ,yes and yes! Parents should want their children to have respect, you should teach your child how to behave in different settings. If you let them behave unruly from the start then it will be hard to gain control over them and they will continue to act out. Not only is it annoying but the children can be injured, the can cause energy to someone else and just make things alot more complicated.
@psmohan (1883)
• India
5 Oct 06
Yes I feel bothered. The children have to be taught public decency. It is duty of parents.
@rlporter (516)
• United States
5 Oct 06
Absolutely. A parent has the responsibility to discipline a child (I don't mean physically). They are not doing that child any justice by teaching them to be spoiled rotten, selfish, and disrespectful children, thus becoming the same kind of adult.
1 person likes this
@chalmette69 (3010)
• United States
5 Oct 06
Well, no child is going to be perfect when you take them some where, and if you let them get away with it once they will continue to act up.
1 person likes this
@chalmette69 (3010)
• United States
5 Oct 06
Well, no child is going to be perfect when you take them some where, and if you let them get away with it once they will continue to act up.
1 person likes this
@remaster74 (4065)
• Greece
6 Oct 06
Hopefully I have an angel as a son. I want to kill the parents that let their children do that. And all the time they give the same answer... "What can we do? They are children after all! They need to express themselves!"
@juls2me2 (2151)
• United States
6 Oct 06
"Express themselves"....makes you want to strangle the parent and say "What...I'm just expressing myself" I don't get that one either. Good one!
• Greece
6 Oct 06
I have a friend that she has children like that. I asked her one day why she let her children scream their heart out and run around like they have fire on their ashes and she said that she let them do that in order to express their force and be at home silent. She said that it is an agreement that she had made with her children. I say KILL THE PARENT.
@juls2me2 (2151)
• United States
6 Oct 06
That's crazy! Torment your neighbors to receive 5 minutes of peace at home.
@megean2k4 (403)
• United States
6 Oct 06
I have a tendancy to get peeved with the parent, not the child. Because somewhere the child is learning that behavior and learning that it's acceptable. Even if a parent says it's unacceptable to them their actions are speaking louder.
@juls2me2 (2151)
• United States
6 Oct 06
I hear what you're saying, but don't be too hard on parents that are actually trying some form of discipline and it's not getting the right response yet. That's where consistency comes in and where it gets really rough. My youngest son knew the discipline structure of time outs, apologizing, losing a privilege, getting rewards for good behavior, and spankings when extremely necessary, etc. He was just plain stubborn at times and didn't care at the outcome of discipline. I had to be consistent anyway. I was lucky though to have help from my parent's too. They would back me up with the discipline. He grew to know that tantrums lost all privileges immediately, etc. It's those time when you're reaching for straws and in your mind you want to strangle your kid, but you really don't, you just don't know what more to do. I didn't teach my son to pitch a fit or destroy things, neither did my husband. Some of this behaviour comes naturally to a child and gives them the feeling of control. It's very hard at times like these. The parent needs to remain in control and calm with a plan of action, the best they can. Talking to the child is great...especially letting them know its not acceptable, but then follow through with something for the child to realize its wrong. Some times even having the child apologize for what they did and give them ideas how they could've have done it differently. It has to be done over and over and over again to sink in. Kid's know if you'll give in and they'll push you until you do. Each time gets worse and worse if you give in though.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Oct 06
I agree with what you said. And being in the education field I understand that some behavior is just inborn. I suppose what really bothers me, is when you can really tell there is a definite lack of discipline in the home. Absolutely, 100% agree, consistency is the key.
@MINDY0882 (2304)
• United States
5 Oct 06
yes I think they need more discipline, but now days if u spank in public some people my report it as child abuse
@LANA70 (138)
• United States
5 Oct 06
Yes, it bothers me because the parents have no control of "young" children who will grow up to be unruly "adults". That is why we have so many crimes because their is no control from the beginning.
1 person likes this
@juls2me2 (2151)
• United States
6 Oct 06
You're right about the childabuse calls. Here's a better one for you. My own son at age 10 was rebelling at school and at home really bad and my husband and I decided a spanking was appropriate for we he was doing. My son threatened to call the sheriff's and tell on us that we were going to spank him. My husband called the sheriff's first and explained my son's threat of child abuse and asked if they can come talk with us and our son. They came out and instead of telling us not to, them heard the situation and talked with my son about all the ways we can discipline him and corporal punishment was one. As long as specific things didn't happen. He ended his conversation with our son by telling him to go in his room and get prepared for his discipline and if he has to come back because he wouldn't he'll gladly spank him for us. I was shocked, but I loved the fact the office backed us up. Neither of our sons questioned it again. Now that my boys are older teens the discipline is definitely different. Spankings aren't as effective. Losing the computer or video games or even the phone seems to work really well too.
1 person likes this
@LaGitana (278)
• United States
7 Oct 06
It doesn't bother me about the noise the child is making, but rather about the parent who either doesn't know how to deal with it, or doesn't care, or just has to get one last thing done, or is no longer the head of the household. I don't know where my daughter got this, but not from me... When my grandson was little, like a year or two and even younger, and he began to act up in public, my daughter would simply stop whatever it was she was doing, and walk calmly outside with him, and just wait for him to quit, then talk to him like he was an adult... the reasons not to, and so on. He calmed right down, and they would go back inside and finish what they were doing. Of course, when he was very tiny, she could just change him or feed him, but she still talked to him. He never has acted out in a public place. He's totally well-behaved, and is 14 now. I don't think it's as much discipline as love and attention they need. And it doesn't take much. When it's gotten to the wailing and tantrum stage, the parent has waited too long. But then, there are all kinds of variables for each situation... which is what I tell myself when I see it.
@bhbirdie6 (1771)
• United States
7 Oct 06
Your daughter's strategy sounds very effective. I think talking to children as if they are adults is very wise. It's incredibly frustrating for children of all ages when parents or adults talk down to them.
@bhchy1 (6052)
• United States
7 Oct 06
Yes...almost as much as people rewording my posts for themselves..
@juls2me2 (2151)
• United States
7 Oct 06
As far as rewording posts, if I've done that to you, I apologize and am not aware of it. I know that sometimes the discussions are so lengthy that I'll share my own view and not read all the posts that are there before mine. Maybe others do the same. Thanks for continuing to post anyway.