I didn't ask to be born? I don't owe you anything!!!!!

@manong05 (5029)
Philippines
January 16, 2007 8:54am CST
You are just fulfilling your responsibility as parents since I am the result of your union. I don't owe anybody anything not even to you! We heard our teener neighbor shouting at his parents. Apparently he was rebelling against his parents. Put in his parents shoes, what could have been your answer to the kid? There's some truth in what the boy said, isn't it. We parents are just doing our duty to raise them up. So, how will you explain things to the boy?
5 people like this
27 responses
• United States
16 Jan 07
Great topic! Well first off he is right he did not ask to be born. We can grant him that but now that he is here he does not owe anything for the gift of life although he should feel compelled to accept that gift with some gradatude not so much for his conseption but for the shelter, food, clothing, and love that has been bestowed upon him sense birth. All us parents truly ask for in return for our efforts is respect. As a parent of 5 children 4 of which I gave birth to and one that I have loved and helped raise as my own I have encountered this type of reaction from time to time. They range in ages from 20 down to 10. I have never had the exact words "I didn't ask to be born" thrown at me but similar statements such as "what do you want from me". My answer has always been respect. I define this to them in simple form. Which I think could work in this situation. To respect ones parents means to honor their judgement. Although you may not agree with their decisions you were not sent here with a manual or any form of instructions so you must remember that we are doing the very best we can and always with your best interest at heart. So until the time you have grown in years to fully understand human nature and the cruel fact that mistakes are made by parents and children alike do not disrespect our decison to place you on this earth to begin with. Just as you did not ask for "unfair parents" we did not put in a request disrespectful children.
2 people like this
@manong05 (5029)
• Philippines
16 Jan 07
Good points! Shows a wealth of experience behind these words. I like the way you put it "Just as you did not ask for "unfair parents" we did not put in a request disrespectful children. thanks!
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Jan 07
Your welcome and I hope I was of some help.
17 Jan 07
Extremely well put.
@samson1967 (7422)
• India
16 Jan 07
Cutting down all the wordly relations and attatchments is the stepping stone or ladder for the spiritualism and Wisdom. Good parents must recognise such talents, and let the child grow in spiritual atmosphere.
1 person likes this
@manong05 (5029)
• Philippines
16 Jan 07
Did I understand it correctly that you take the boy's side? That he is correct in detaching himself from his parents and that the parents should understand the boy's side in cutting down all the worldly relations?
@riyasam (16574)
• India
17 Jan 07
it should be left to him to take his own decision.
@moneymaka (494)
• United States
17 Jan 07
Ive actually said that to my dad, he expects me to do things for him, and if i say i wont he thinks he can disown me, I never asked him to bring me into this world, its him and my mom getting freaky and crap so why does he expect me to goto school and crap.
@OROKAM55 (121)
• United States
17 Jan 07
We parents are doing our duties raising the kids that came into this world as a result of our union with our wifes, true. However, if a child has grown up to know that what we do for them is just what we are supposed to do then they should also realized that since they are under our roof, they are under our laws. We parents make the rules, if you think you have grown enough not to follow our rules, then it's time for you to get out and get your own life. The children need to realize that we are their parents, not their school class mates or age mates but as parents, we chose to be their parents and friend. Sometimes it's the fault of the parents and the govenment that has created a situation where you can no longer discipline a child when wrong. Discipline today is regarded as child abuse, it ought not to be so. There should be a clear distinction between abuse and discipline.
• India
17 Jan 07
it comes up on his own whiile growing up..just think if the child could learn that how he/she has taken birth then can't they understand the parnets love them a lot..its ok that the child didn't ask for the birth but the parents did and thats why they try and do whatever is in their capacity to rear the child..and I think as the child grows he/she do realise this fact..the case u have spoken of happens as an exception and is mostly occurs because of certain events which leave an unfavourable impact on the child's life..
• Philippines
17 Jan 07
hi there.. i think that child has a lot of anger deep down inside that's why he utters this things to his parents, but of course this is still definitely wrong and intolerable.... i guess this would break my heart if my child would say this things to me someday.... but what has been said has been said and that's hard to take it back again, im sure after the child had said these things to his parents, his conscience is still bugging him... i guess the least thing that a parent could do at that very moment is to calm down, and talk to the child after, have an heart to heart talk and from there they could express everything.... and of course telling the child that what he did was wrong and hurtful, and of course forgiveness should follow...
@Elaeblue (145)
• United States
17 Jan 07
There is some truth in it. This child would find himself in deep doo-doo if I was his Mom. His room would have a bed and some clothes in it and nothing else. After all I dont "have" to buy them for him-I dont owe him that!! However that is not what you asked- I would tell the child that Oh yes he does owe me!! I gave him everything he has in this world-plenty of which is not required items. Tell him the law says a parent must give a child food, shelter, clothing and make them go to school-it does NOT require them to give-steros, brand name boots, i-pods, computers, toys, televisions, or expensive clothes. It doesnt require the parent to allow the child to go anywhere except school. And it doesnt require them to pay for cars, gas, phones, football games, or anything fun in anyway. So if he wants any of those things he better get a little more grateful for what he has.
@lafavorito (2966)
• Philippines
17 Jan 07
I experienced telling this to my mom during a very heated arguement, the question is what made me say those harsh words to my mom? She said that she never wanted to have kids, she never planned my pregnancy (I'm the 4th) if she didn't found that she's pregnant with we she would be in australia living her own life and that ever since I was born she got very unlucky in life. I got really hurt and something just inside just snapped that is why I was able to say those words. The boy may not be rebelling against his parents, his parents are probably being very unreasonable.
@arvijhon (126)
• Philippines
17 Jan 07
the boy don't know what he has done to his parents! we owe our lives to our parents because of their union we are created!all i can say is what he did will turn againsts him when time comes when he will have a family of his own!
• Melbourne, Florida
17 Jan 07
You have to tell the kid that he most certainly did choose to be forn, and he even chose his parents. He chose to live the life he is living for a reason, and he needs to face this, and examine it. We chose our parents for a reason, they have something specifically designed to get us further along our own path.
@MissGia (955)
• United States
17 Jan 07
WOW, what a tough one. He is correct when he says no one asked to be born..because well we cant ask to be born..thats just silly, and he is also right when he says that they are just fulfiling their parental responsibilities. But hes not seeing the other side of this. Im sure this boy enjoys life so he should be thanking his parents. Secondly its human for a parent to take care of their child. We're not like other animals and just release our young off to fend for themselves. Sure when we're older you dont have to give your parents anything if you dont want to..but most people take care of their parents when they grow old...its kind of like returning the favor. How would i explain things to the boy?? I wouldnt, id rattle off what i just said and let him go on his merry way.. He's a teenager..they are chalk full of ego and they think they're right..he'll be a parent one day and then he'll realize.
@wmaharper (2316)
• United States
17 Jan 07
I dont' know that would be a very difficult situation. But I suppose I would say something to the extent of "you are my responsibility until you are 18 years old, you will do what I tell you until you reach that age. I know you do not like it and I understand that it makes you upset, but you don't have a choice. Now we can just lay down the law, and make you obey, or we can discuss this like civilized people and see if there can't be a compromised made." and if there was a compromise we could make or were willing to make, we'd make it, if not then there would be none. But also there would be some sort of punishment for speaking disrespectfully towards his parents.
@katenkim (240)
• Singapore
17 Jan 07
Im confused, what exactly are you asking or are you sharing. Sorry Im a bit confused, couldn;t really comprehend. Please elaborate.
• India
17 Jan 07
i dont agree to this one.we do owe our parents.we have to show our love to them.just think of the situation in which u will be married then ull get some children and they tell uthe same thing
• India
17 Jan 07
i dont agree to this one.we do owe our parents.we have to show our love t othem.just think of the situation in which u will be married then ull get some children and they tell uthe same thing
@Pekachu (1114)
• United States
17 Jan 07
well the child is right our kids dont owe us anything but a little respect would be nice my mother seemed to think i owed her and for what i dont know all she did was abuse me mentally and physically but even still i believe that as long as you live under the roof of your parents then you must be respectful and that is what the child should be told
@vanities (11387)
• Davao, Philippines
17 Jan 07
well thats a rude statement if its really true that a boy had commented on that...yeah its true its our duty to raise him but also to inculcate in him the proper manners on how to have an interpersonal relationships with others that are in accordance with the values and traditions we are practising...and thats the evolution of life..its what we are suppose to do to them...and vice versa(i mean the boy)...the boys should show some respect to parents who brought him out of this world i think..no matter what he thinks on them...
@scorpius (1793)
• India
17 Jan 07
well first of all i have to say that i have been that boy and all that.that said i do not think that we do not owe anything to our parents.my reply to that boy wold have been "listen son,i had been in your shoes once.i too rebelled agaist my parents but in the end i realised a few facts.they are given as below. 1.my mum need not have carried me the full term of her pregnancy.she could have aborted me anytime she wished to. 2.my parents could have given me up for adoption anytime.i may have not had the love and care that i have had until then. 3.everything from the clothes i ws wearing to the food that i ate everyday was all paid for by my parents. 4.everytime i got hurt,my mum ws always there along with my dad to comfort me and take care of me. 5.everytime i got the flu,my mum was right beside my bed wiping my head with a fresh towel. just so that you understand what all that means i am going to take you to the hospital so that you can meet some expectant mothers and understand the burden of carrying a child to term.i am also going to take you to an adoption agency and see how they treat the children there.then i would like you to remove all your clothes,give me all your belongings that your mum and i had got for you,give us all the money we gave you and stay away from this house and see how loving and caring the outside world is.maybe,just maybe you might realise that we love and care for you and that our advice is actually for the best.what do you say to that?are you willing to do that?" http://www.parent-teen.com/ http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/ncfv-cnivf/familyviolence/html/nfntsrelparentado-ado2_e.html http://www.dmv.ca.gov/pubs/dl603/dl603.pdf
@riyasam (16574)
• India
17 Jan 07
i think its parents fault also.if they are not able to provide,why such a union.
@Brooke3 (614)
17 Jan 07
I think a lot of teenagers tend to go through that and from my experience and what i remember of being a teenager that's not much to do except let them rant and be moody and then when they get older they will realise just how much their parents do for them.