Am I Too Old To Meet A Man?

Japan
January 18, 2007 5:37am CST
Here in Japan, people say that women are like Christmas cakes - no good after the 25th! My grandparents have been giving me a lot of pressure to get married (or at least find a boyfriend!) recently. I don't think that I'm ready to get married - I'm only 23! - but there's a lot of pressure on me! What should I do? Do you think I should try and get married as soon as possible? I don't want men to think I'm too old!! kumiko xo
30 people like this
243 responses
• Indonesia
19 Jan 07
What? 23 is too old for dating? nahhhh... you gotta be joking.. Happy hunting, tho...:-)
• Indonesia
19 Jan 07
I add more, to complite my comment above. What i ment abt ?happy hunting? is, take your time, enjoy more of your life, and dont be such a rush...:-)
1 person likes this
@jobinbabu (152)
• India
19 Jan 07
its entirely upto to you,and i dont known what men think there, but from where i am from we like old women,women who are matured ,who can stand up for themselves.
1 person likes this
@wings33 (230)
• United States
19 Jan 07
Nice comment, jobinbabu. Thanks for putting in a good word for older women.
@vicky19810 (1601)
• China
19 Jan 07
lol...yes ,i do not think that you should do as the thoughts of your family,and it is true that you are too young to get married.i am 25 years old now ,and i have a boyfriend but i will not want to be married so early,even if my family always say it is time to get married.in old days,the girls of my age have been married already.but in my heart,i really do not would like to be married ,even if i love my boyfriend very much.i prefer to live single life with him.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
19 Jan 07
Hi! In my opinion, you're never "too" old or "too" young to get married. It's best to tie the knot once you're emotionally, physically, psychologically and financially ready. No one else can say when you have all these but you because they're all subjective (except maybe the money part). So, Kumiko, if you are not in a marrying mood yet, then that's that. Hey, if you do decide to get hitched, don't forget to invite us in your wedding, ehheehe :-)
@darkraze (43)
• Philippines
19 Jan 07
Hello Kumiko! I think no one should be pressure to get married at anytime, not even from your parents. Marriage is a big decision and not to be taken lightly. Remember, decision should come from oneself. If you should get married, make sure that it's the right guy. A guy who loves you sincerely and is willing to make some sacrifices for both of you and you likewise. Besides, you're still quite young. Good luck! ^-^
1 person likes this
• Philippines
19 Jan 07
Definitely Not. 23 years old is still very young. In a marriage what's more important is the love and commitment you can provide to each other. Don't get married just because you are pressured to do so because of age. You need to make sure that you are ready mentally,emotionally, financially to handle it. Age does not make or break a marriage, no matter what age you are, don't get married if you are not yet ready. Don't marry for the wrong reason. Marry because that's what you want and with the right person--no matter how old you may be.
• Romania
19 Jan 07
i think you should try to find the right person for you, and not to marry until you think it's the perfect person. don't allow your family to interfere in your personal life, have patience and you will find the right man.
1 person likes this
@raj0019 (2629)
• Argentina
19 Jan 07
You are very young Kumiko! No need to worry about marriage at the moment. You have lots of time to decide what you want to do actually, parents are always worried about their kids and forcing you for marriage is part of it. Take it easy, wait for a right partner to come your way. Everything happens at its desired time, we cant change it anyways.
1 person likes this
@Magbaad (50)
• Brazil
19 Jan 07
In my believes, it's never old to meet a man and so. I say that because I am 18 and never dated and so, but even don't worry about when (if it happens) I'll have some date stuff. It's up to you to judge if your old or not, though I think, in spite of being good to respect the beliefs of your culture, you have to have autonomy to decide it. Just when times come... Good luck and have a happy life.
1 person likes this
• Kuwait
19 Jan 07
i think you are not old but i think you dont have to be pressured by them, you have the time choose whose you want to marry and love as you will be the one to be with your husband and not your parents and family.
@Pekachu (1114)
• United States
19 Jan 07
you take your time you are still very young it doesnt matter what the men think what matters is what you think and what you want
1 person likes this
• Singapore
19 Jan 07
At 23-25 you're still young. Don't rush into marriage because of family pressure. Don't forget, marriage is for life thus you will need to ensure that you're ready for the commitment. I can understand the anxiety your family members have but do explain to them that this can't be rush. Let it happened naturally. Meanwhile, you need to socialise and widen your friends so that you've got opportunities to meet as many people as you can and hopefully you're also meet your Mr. Right.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
19 Jan 07
Kumiko in my point of view there is no such thing as old or age in getting married. The most impportant is if both of you are financially stable and you both love each other. That is the most important thing.
1 person likes this
• India
18 Jan 07
Hi Kumiko xo, you are talking of looking at marriage at 23 in a developed country like Japan, well I got married at the age of 35 in a developing country like Inida. I don't think it is the right age to get married, you should be concentrating on your education or career and also earn a good amount, before thinking of settling down around the 30s. By the age of 30 you would have seen a bit of the world and also earned enough to run or support a family. It also gives you enough maturity, experience and economic strength to have a family and settle down. Men also like mature women and prefer their wifes to be in the 27 to 30 age group, so that life is more smooth and adjustable to adaptability. So go ahead and enjoy your life today, and think of such serious things later.
@smille (832)
• India
18 Jan 07
i agree with jerry, u first think of ur career adn setteling down well. marriage must be ur last prority, and i think u r too young to get married u r just 23yrs which is here in india also now a days early age for marriage. so first settel down then look for a boyfriend and if u feel he is ok for u then think of marrying him.....so still u vh 5-7 yrs to enjoy life!!!!best luck.
@yorgaki (678)
• Romania
18 Jan 07
men like mature women, but -sorry, no offence - they do not like tired women. Men don't like women that just spent their youth age just going from man to man and now they claim that their biological clock is ticking and they need to get married and to have babies. There is an old saying like that : "dogs protect the man who feeds them" and this is similar in life, too. If a woman didn't kept anything special for the one that she will be with him for her entire life so then she has nothing to expect or demand from him either. So advices as "go and have fun" are very irresponsible and dangerous preachings that could be told to a young and wonderful lady as is now our lovely kumiko. That is similar as telling to a person "go and waste all of your money because later maybe you would find a fool to give you again a lots of money for nothing". That is at least stupid to give such advice to a person about how to live his life. A woman that will be sometime a mother must keep something "holy" for the man that will take care of her babies, don't you think ? If she runs from relationship to relationship (to be read here "from bed to bed") then no wonder that she will have as husband a desperate aged male that soon will cheat her too and a divorce could come very soon to destroy their lives. You would tell me : "Yes, but a good girl could also meet and marry a bad man that will be cheating on her later or sooner and divorce from her destroying her future life." Yes, maybe you're right, but in life, if YOURSELF alone don't give a best chance to be happy and safe, you just HAVE NO CHANCE to be happy and safe. There is no way to receive in life something that you don't offer by yourself. NO WAY ! People around us are NOT stupid !! All women that think differently or despise the men and call them "guys" will see later how bad is to be alone or with just a jerk next to them in the same house and ought not to cry later because they were stupid and not wise about their own bodies and lives. If the good girls would not be happy in this world THEN WHO to be ? The bit*ches?? It is FAIR for the bad people to suffer and the good ones to be happier than them because there IS a justice in this life! That happens in 95% from the situations but for me that's "very" enough ! Whoever is so desperate to "have fun" NOW let them cry later and accuse cowardly the "others" for their failure in their lives!! If you alone don't care about yourself why should others care about you ??
• India
19 Jan 07
Hi, I am 35 years old Indian guy. I did n't have any girl friend upto of my 34 yrs. age. But last year I got a 30 yrs. old girl friend from Philippines thru Yahoo Messanger. Now she is in my place in Kolkata, India. And we are going to marry on 28th Jan, 2007, Sunday. Now tell me do you think u r too old. Hey think your carrer first. Then get married. Wish you a very best of luck.
• Philippines
19 Jan 07
Hey, congratulations. So your wedding day is coming up soon. You will be marrying someone from my country. I wish you both happiness and hope she will be a good wife to you in spite of cultural differences.
@jieuna (70)
• Philippines
18 Jan 07
gosh why in a hurry! loves comes first before your security of having someone to take care after you. you're not like your grandparents who are very old. you have the time in your life. try to get married then regret by doing it.
@jieuna (70)
• Philippines
18 Jan 07
i'm already 25 going 26 this march. do i look old? i'm proud to say despite that i'm having a poor health condition, i still look fresh coz i keep on telling me that i am pretty and jolly! i'm in a 3- year committed to my honey. he said as if i'm just like the year we started living together. :)
@sweetrala (1440)
• Philippines
18 Jan 07
I think its not only a cultural thing that women are presssured to get married, it a universal thing.For me its really sad that we have to go through this, to be branded as a spinster even at 26.I am lucky to have parents that dont pressure me to get married.Im 26, I wanna enjoy life.I enjoy being SINGLE if i dont get married maybe its not for me. My advice to u is ,if u are not ready to get married then dont. Dont let them pressure u into doing something htat u think ur not ready for. Its your life.
• India
19 Jan 07
Enjoy your youthful days. Don't marry under pressure. But thinking of career till becoming adult is not advisable. After all we think of career to make our lives happy and merry. Marrying after we have lost all our charm also makes life dull.
@opinder (423)
• India
18 Jan 07
You are 23 you said? don't you think you are grown up enough to take your decisions for yourself? marriage is a big committment...you can't just jump into it. it needs lot of planning and thought. go by your own beliefs and forget the rest.
• Italy
18 Jan 07
this is not only a think of japan people....also in Italy..specially in South.. a lot of people think that their doughter MUST be marriage!
@FrancyDafne (2051)
• Italy
12 Apr 07
Aarghhhh, I can't stand nonsenses like this. A neighbour of mine always says that women are no good after the 30th! I always fight with that stupid man, he's really a dumb. You should live in my country (Italia), boys and girls live in their first family until they are 30/35 years old because there are problems to find a good job and life is very expensive. It's very difficult to find people marrying so soon here.
@nicky35 (751)
16 Feb 07
i dont think you should rush because you might end up with the wrong person.i know its hard when your family give you pressure but its your life and you are still young.you live your life for you for now.who knows whats just around the corner,you might meet the perfect person when you least expect it.have a good life.x