When our Partners Resurrect our Old Mistakes

Philippines
January 18, 2007 9:32am CST
i hate it when my boyfriend and i argue and he will always bring back the past. past is past but he sometimes can't avoid talking to me again of the mistakes i've done before. he always hits the REWIND BUTTON and i keep hearing the same old message. why does he always do that? can't he see, our past problems have been settled already. bringing it back to life again will do us no good.
2 people like this
6 responses
@leleng (247)
• Philippines
21 Jan 07
most boys kept on doing things like that. Bringing the old topics when both of you are having an argument? Instead of burying it or forgeting it. What do you think is their reason why they keep on doing that? I had the same problem on my ex.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
21 Jan 07
ya some boys do that but we still love them. don't we??? lol
@sechsey (1836)
• Canada
22 Jan 07
It's funny. Im usually the one who repeat the past for him to be reminded that we already have the same discussion or that its the same situation as this. I know its wrong to repeat whatever mistakes we amde before especially it's been setteled already but can't help it.:P
• Philippines
23 Jan 07
hahahah. then you should stop it, you know its not good. but i give you credit for your honesty.hehhe
@Lydia1901 (16354)
• United States
22 Jan 07
Sorry to hear that. But, sometimes some people just don't let by gones be by gones. Tell him how you feel about it, maybe he'll understand and won't talk about it anymore.
• Philippines
22 Jan 07
he is starting to change and i hope it will continue until he will really stop resurrecting the past.
• India
9 Mar 07
Sorry to hear that but I used to be the same with my girlfriend , but its long time I realised that what you feel bad about is to be setlled when it happens and not a year after, not even an hour after. I used to do that a lot and I know why I used to do that. I did that because I used to compare the mistakes she did and the mistakes I did. Whenever she used too scream at me for any of my mistake I always used to turn back on her with our past. But she also did the same thing and I know the reason for that as well, actually sometimes when people feel insecure and irritated with whatever is happening in their lives then they some times tend to recall all the negativities of their past and present and then see their future dark. But I learnt that when someone does so they do not need scolding but reassurance that the previous mistakes won't happen again and the negativities won't increase. They need more love and care. So I have learnt to love and accept my mistakes and also to end the maters and not to dig out issues. It weas hard to learn but now it has made our life easier. I love her so I did it. If you love him then you will also have to do somewhat the same. Any ways I do not know the full situation so cannot comment or advice any more than this. Whatever I had adviced is what I have seen and faced and nothing to be forced upon you so Take Care and choose wisely on what to do and what not to do, as by the end of the day its you who is rsponsible for yourself and not us. Thank you May GOD Bless YOU
@graham31 (487)
9 Mar 07
I have done this in a past relationship,i would find myself getting so annoyed and angry that the past and things i didn't want to say just flow off my tongue. THE MAIN REASON FOR DOING THIS?????? TO CAUSE HURT AND KEEP THE ARGUMENT GOING. Very childish and very bad got us no where hence the word PAST at the start of this response. I wasn't the onlyone that did this i'm just telling you my part before you all think i'm this horrible person. I have learned from my mistakes through advice from my mum and voing never to repeat the mistakes. My mum says an arguement should last no longer than 10minutes,if you can't resolve the arguement in this time then you can't resolve it and you should just agree to disagree and move on.I've put this idea into practice several times over the years and it saves alot of time and arguements. LIFES TO SHORT TO SPEND IT ARGUING Sorry if this was a bit long winded
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
9 Mar 07
This is such a common thing, however I do belive that it is because he hasn´t forgiven you and moved on to 100% yet, if he had he wouldn´t keep bringning them up. Talk to him about it, maybe he has other issues as well and the best way to solve all things is communication!