a caretaker/daughter's lament

@scribe1 (1207)
United States
January 19, 2007 7:27pm CST
Last year at this time, my dad consulted his doctor about a diarrhea that just wouldn't quit and a problem with steady weight loss. Then in February, 2006, the doctor told my dad that he had a liver tumor. Turned out later on that things were even more serious. My dad was diagnosed with lung cancer in April after a biopsy. Two rounds of chemo didn't help, as my dad's condition continued to deteriorate. He stayed at my sister's house and I went there almost every day, trying to comfort and help him, hoping against hope that somehow, a miracle would save him. As my dad's condition deteriorated, he lost control of his bladder and had a hard time swallowing. He became weaker and soon resembled a skeleton. In spite of his condition, he still tried to be independent, walking when he could and refusing to use a cane, hospital bed and oxygen. My sister and I had aides from the local hospice visiting and bathing him. It was a heartbreaking time. But at least I was there as often as possible, doing what I could to help. I was also at my dad's side as his breathing became more labored, in spite of oxygen, as he sat in bed. Finally, I heard a rattle and felt his hands go cold. He was gone. I still miss him and will never forget how hard he tried to please everyone and how patient he was to the end, although he often asked why. I didn't know what to say.... I know that while his body is dead, my dad's spirit is very much alive and well. But even knowing that is of little comfort and even depressing. I can't believe that he is gone.
2 people like this
7 responses
@classy56 (2884)
• United States
20 Jan 07
im sorry you lost your dad,an i know how you feel i just lost my sister to cancer an i watched her everyday suffer from it,an i was there till the end an i seen her last tears drops as she past on.an i cant belive she gone.your dad is better off hes not suffering anymore an hes looking down at you.he will always be with you forever.god bless
• United States
31 Jan 07
I think you should go and get checked. It may not be the easiest decision to make, but it should be made. I lost both my grandparents to cancer many years ago and I still miss them to this day. My heart goes out to you, losing someone you love is very painful.
@icebucks (127)
• Philippines
1 Feb 07
I think you should do it! its better that you know now than later. If you have it (i wish you don't) atleast you could do things for yourself an make things for the better.
@maru_047in (1007)
• India
20 Jan 07
Ya that is the tough time and no body can imagine such a kind of situation and that was too bad i think so he must have been aware of such disease and in the early stages only he could have cured it but it is the faith and no body can stop that it has to occur from time to time and it is really non imaginary thought which comes to mind once v think about the past and nobody can bring the future so b happy and make sure that u keep happy others by forgetting things slightly.
@shemb1 (465)
• Sri Lanka
20 Jan 07
hmmm I think you did what you can do. Its nice to see like daughters in 07 period. but I guess your father was soo lucky to have kids like you. so please keep prayer for him, because that the way you can help him now. And I know it s hard for you. I ll also pray for your father.
@icequeen (2843)
• Canada
20 Jan 07
So sorry to hear about your father. It sounds like he was a strong man. However...you should take comfort that he is in a better place now and not suffering anymore. You can also take comfort that you were there with him at the end..that must have made him feel better. You did all you could and that is the main thing...I hope things get better for you.
• United States
20 Jan 07
I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you and your sister were there for your Dad in as many ways as you could be. I can't imagine how hard it would be to watch someone you cared so much about deteriorate and change. I'm glad you feel your father's spirit and know that he is still around you-this must bring you immense comfort.
@coolcatzz (1589)
• Canada
20 Jan 07
I am so sorry for your loss. I went through the same thing with my mother, then my father and then my mother-in-law. Believe me it doesn't get any easier. Keeping his memory alive is the best gift of all and you will always feel him close to you. As time goes on the pain does lessen a bit but you will always miss him. I hope this helps you a bit. Take care of yourself.
@kmgupta (561)
• India
20 Jan 07
don't allow anyboby to touch your sister