Can't spank kids under the age of 3

United States
January 20, 2007 11:54am CST
California wants pass a law that parents can not spank their kids unles they are older than 3. Who decides that you can't spank your own kids the government or you ?? How do you feel about this law??
7 people like this
35 responses
@mzbubblie (3840)
• United States
21 Jan 07
I believe as parents, we should have every right to spank our children "IF" that's your method of discipline and as long as it's not abuse. I believe they are confused with disciplining your child and abuse. That's where the parents come in, you can be abusive and "BEAT" your child or you can "spank" to get your point across. I personally believe a parent that is not beating their child but disciplining them, the government therefore has no right to tell a parent how to discipline their child. I don't agree with that law at all. It's goes along the lines of why the good has to suffer with the bad. To each his own how you discipline your child, as long as it nothing that will mentally confuse them negatively or furthermore cause injuries..
• United States
21 Jan 07
I agree with mzbubblie. Parents know the situation and how their child will repsond to various methods of discipline. I don't think the government should tell a parent what methods to use beyond ensuring there are controls to prevent abuse. I have found that time outs, withholding privileges and expressing disappointment to be as effective as spanking with my grandchildren because we have been consistent with these methods of discipline since they were infants. First they were taught "No" or "Naughty" accompanied with a tap on the butt or hand. As they got older, they were taught consequences, if you are told No or Naughty and continue the behavior, you will be put in time out. Today an actual spanking is reserved for the rare times when the other steps of punishment are not effective. I honestly cannot remember the last time I had to spank the three year old and telling the one year old "Naughty" can reduce her to tears. The older children usually get a time out or a lecture, or a toy or privilige taken away.
• United States
22 Jan 07
You both have covered this very well. I don't want the government stepping into my home and telling me what I should and shouldn't do with my kids. To me this is ridiculous.
1 person likes this
• Ireland
20 Jan 07
I don't believe a tap on the bottom, where there is a lot of fatty tissue, will do a child any harm. Some very young children just don't understand the meaning of words, but they would certainly understand a couple of little spankings. A spanking now, is much better than spending time in prison when they gave grown up.
• United States
20 Jan 07
I say the same I sure don't want my child to grow with no respect or morals and values.
2 people like this
@Sissygrl (10915)
• Canada
20 Jan 07
Well i think there is spanking and then there is abusing. Spanking in my mind is more of a little taps that's not ment to physically hurt them, its more to embarrass them, So that they remember not to do that again. My mom had a plastic spoon that reminded me not to misbehave. And i'm not tramatized or anything.
3 people like this
• United States
20 Jan 07
Most definetly there is a difference,and spanking a child doen't in any way harm a child. Beating a child is unthinkable.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Jan 07
That's so true. I'm sitting here laughing. My Mom would come after my twin sister and me with the wooden spoon. Reminding us that it'll sting when wet (when we were arguing in the tub). And, I too believer, it's to embarrass not to inflict physical harm or pain.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Jan 07
I remember the fly swatter too... lol
• Dallas, Texas
20 Jan 07
I think that is a crazy law. I see why they are trying to pass it - There are a lot of parents that are still kids themselves and know nothing about parenting and mabe a small % beat their kids. I think that it really depends on the kids - some kids will not respond to anything but a spanking - I do not think that is most of them. Spankings did not do much good for me because after the pain I could still go do what I was doing - But if I could not go oot and play, etc - That was the worst thing in the world. My sone is the same way - But my daughter - If you tell her that she is going to get a spamking - that is the worst thing in the world to her so she will stop. I think it depends on the child
3 people like this
• United States
20 Jan 07
Very true, I totally believe in spanking myself. I have 3 kids and 3 grandkids they all are totally different and some punishments are not right for some and for others spanking is the only thing that will get the attention of the child.
2 people like this
@wahmoftwo (1298)
• United States
27 Jan 07
I think that what you say about a small % of the parents beating their kids is true. That is not leagal now. They don't care what the law says to start with, so I don't think that the law will result in anything more than starting a bunch of trouble. People that are just trying to raise their kids with manners and morals will suffer.
1 person likes this
@mkirby624 (1599)
• United States
28 Jan 07
I totally agree. Different methods work for different kids. My brother hardly EVER got a spanking. Taking something away from him was sufficient. But me...I was a wild child and you could take everything I had away from me and I would still run my mouth and try to get the last word (I'm just like my dad). So I got spankings. They worked for me. But with every spanking came an explanation of why I got the spanking, what I could have done differently, and what I should do differently next time. And every spanking also ended with me sitting in my dad's lap apologizing for what I knew I did wrong, and my dad wrapping me in his arms and telling how much he loved me. I never felt abused. EVER. And this spanking law is essentially useless. It is to prevent abuse, mostly, as we all know. However, parents who abuse their kids are doing it illegally now. What makes anyone think that making a law about WHEN you can start spanking your child will change how an abusive parent handles their anger? This law won't solve any abuse issues and it can't be maintained simply because the government can't see what happens in your home.
@moneyseeker (1024)
20 Jan 07
I can't understand how any parent would want to spank his or her child, no matter what age they are. It would be like hurting yourself. There are so many other ways to correct a child, they need guidance not spanking. As to spanking a child under three that's barbaric!
• United States
20 Jan 07
All kids are different and some kids respond to time outs and such but then again there are kids that need direct attention "ie" spanking. AS for barbaric do you read the bible??
2 people like this
• United States
22 Jan 07
I do not think a swat on the butt, especially over a diaper, is barbaric. I was spanked, and I turned out fine. My parents knew when to draw the line. It's not like I was slapped around. An explanation came with the spanking. And, as the other poster said, kids respond to different forms of discipline. Try rationalizing with a 2 year old who's autistic. Wait, try rationalizing with any 2 year old! It cannot be done. Little little children have no understanding of logic.
• United States
22 Jan 07
That is a very true fact , they are just too young yet to understand, but they will understand a swat on the bottom. good point.
1 person likes this
@Dseacrest (203)
• United States
26 Jan 07
I don't see why they have to ban the spanking. First off where the heck were they when we were kids. I remember I got a belt across my backside. Today if ya do it the state or the cops come after you. I think that is the problem with kids today, they think because they don't get their hiney smacked they own us. I know one thing, spanking is the key, this time out just delays the problems for later.
2 people like this
• United States
26 Jan 07
The kids are geting more control over the parents this is so true. Time outs work for some but no all .. :)
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Jan 07
"spare the rod spoil the child" I agree with this. I beleive that before the age of 3 is usually when it is nessasary to give the child a swat. If your 2 year old is about to stick an object in the outlet and you responed by taking the object away they will only be confused but if you take the object and give them a small swat on the bottom they will remember and associate this as wrong. The government has no right to tell you the proper age to spank your child. The parent knows best and in most situations I do not beleive that spanking leads to abuse but that being abusive is the problem of the parent in retaining control over themselves. If a child is disiplined at a young age properly than they will remain well behaved. Displine includes love and fear. It is good for a child to have a certain amount of fear over the consquences to their actions. If they do not have this with their parents they will later not have it with their teachers, law enforcement and so on. The government has given all the control to the children and due to this our children are out of control. Great topic...
2 people like this
• United States
22 Jan 07
You made a great pont when you said " the government has no right to tell you the proper age" they don't know you kids like you do. Unfortunately the government is giving control to our kids, kids can divorce their own parents for pete's sake. Glad you enjoyed it. i feel very strongly on this issue with the government trying to tell me to not spank my child. I love my kids dearly and will do what needs to be done for them and the government can go make more laws to keep criminals away from my kids and family, then I will respect what they stand for.
1 person likes this
@marytoad (54)
• United States
21 Jan 07
OMGoodness, the government SOOOO needs to get OUT of our business! A child is almost formed completely (attitude-wise) by around 4, so if you don't shape, mold & form before then, you can forget it! You know? Very important! lol, I say they've got more dollars than sense!
• United States
22 Jan 07
Get out is right!!! I still can't believe that they think they can do this.
1 person likes this
@kathy77 (7488)
• Australia
20 Jan 07
Oh I think that it is good in some ways, due to in Australia we are not allowed to spank our children no matter the age, as there has been some parents that just went over board when they were spanking their children, I do not like this law in some ways as the children become out of hand and what does the government do for us to help us with the problems that are caused from not spanking I think that we should be allowed as long as we do it in fairness to the child, and we should be the ones to judge who spanks our children.
2 people like this
• United States
20 Jan 07
I was not aware Australia had a law like that,so in your country they are finding out to be causing more problems than good it sounds like. A shame. The poor kids there.I think the parents should have control over this not the government too.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Jan 07
That's because kids 3 and under are too young to understand anything and remember parents' rules... there are parents who get frustrated and don't stop to spank when they start so it's a good idea to just ban spanking. Talking to them when you're not upset anymore is the best way.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Jan 07
I beg to differ about kids under 3 being to young to understand. I have a 2 yr.old that can count to 20 and say most of her ABC's, they are very smart and can understand at that age... When parents get frusterated then they shoudn't be spanking their kids... they need to give time outs then .
@nexis777 (134)
• United States
27 Jan 07
I also disagree. They are definitely able to understand, even to the extreme of being able to tell if you don't think they understand you and manipulating you with that. My 2 year old can also say most of his ABC's and quote back certain books we read. He knows to put all of his toys away, helps me put dishes away, sets the table, helps with the laundry, helps change his sisters diapers etc etc etc. He understands virtually everything I say to him. People are constantly amazed at how intelligent he is. I think he's smart, but I think a lot of it has to do with I've always expected a lot of him and he's always working to keep up.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Jan 07
Kids are much smarter now...I am glad to hear how well your son is doing...keep up the good work ....
1 person likes this
@nexis777 (134)
• United States
26 Jan 07
I think it's ridiculous that the gov't is trying to regulate whether or not we can spank our children. Children should be trained and disciplined from an early age, in LOVE. If parents are spanking in anger then they need to try a different approach. But, if you're able to control yourself and spank calmly, it will sting, and get the childs attention. Children over about 15 months are very good at throwing fits, and they often need a physical reminder that that is not ok. I've got two children and I'm raising them from a method I've found in a book called "To Train Up a Child" if you'd like to read more about it go to www.nogreaterjoy.org. You'll get awesome results!
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Jan 07
Yes most definetly I am talking about a spanking to teach your child a lesson to in anger out of love...The website is awesome thank you so much ...
@nexis777 (134)
• United States
27 Jan 07
I'm so glad you checked it out! I love that site and return to it constantly to get more info. I have "To Train Up a Child" and the three "No Greater Joy" books as well as the mailbox tapes etc. I give away To Train Up a Child whenever I can. I keep extra copies around just so I can. The newsletter they send out is always full of good and useful information too, and it's FREE :)
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Jan 07
This is another example of the great things one can find here ...
@Kicker55 (243)
• United States
24 Jan 07
Well California trying to pass crazy laws doesn't surprise me, look who lives their. HollyWood believes that they are gods and that their views are everyone's views. To be honest with you, 90% of people in HollyWood are the craziest people you would have ever met. 60-80% of them should probably be in jail but have bought themselves out of it at some time, and 50% think they know everything about politics and everything else. Just a few months ago Tom Cruise told us his Wisdom on Anti-Depressants, every time Brad Pitt moves or talks it makes headlines, Britney Spears is pregnant every other day now - Oh what a role model, not even married and popping out kids left and right. Not to mention a bunch of obscene musicians who try forcing their opinion through music. For some reason though, if a law starts and passes in California, it eventually spreads through the country. This leads me to be happy when the day California is supposedly supposed to break off from the U.S. due to earthquakes :P. (Just Kidding)
• United States
24 Jan 07
I take it you don't care for Ca. huh me neither not a place I wan to live or even visit. I just don't want the same law in my state. The earthqauke joke was funny :)
@Kicker55 (243)
• United States
24 Jan 07
Yea I went on a little rant their, lol. Anyway No I don't think the government should tell us what to do with our children or our lives.
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Jan 07
Hey thats ok I feel very strongly about this issue too :)
• United States
22 Jan 07
wow, makes you wonder what kind of spankings the kids in California get! Is it so drastic and abusive that you can only habdle after your 3rd birthday? (sarcasm)
• United States
22 Jan 07
Well I wonder too , Ca. is quite different from my state but next it will Florida and I don't want to see that.
• United States
24 Jan 07
Well, I don't spank my daughter but I do discipline her. My parents were a little rough when it came to spankings. My nephew couldn't have made a more valid point, when he was asked *do you know why you were spanked?* his response was all I know is I wasn't born to be beat! I found it amusing, but my sister was not so amused.
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Jan 07
Thats funny ,but in a way its not,I feel spanking are sometimes nesscary for some kids, and maybe your nephew needed one but he also knows the ways of getting out of one too, if this law is passed what do you think he will say to his Mom next ??? I don't look down on anyones opinion here , if they spank their own kids or not , only you know your kids so you should be the one to decide...
@Darkwing (21588)
5 Feb 07
I don't think anybody should decide when you spank your kids unless you actually step over the line, and then, the kids are very often taken into care, anyway. I never actually spanked my kids. They got very few slaps on the back of their legs and some slaps on their hands. I don't believe in spanking, as such. Nevertheless, I was strict, orally, and my boys grew up to be find men. I took this leaf out of my Mum's book. She never spanked either, but showed a lot of love for us, and took time to sit down and interact with us. If we misbehaved, we had priveledges taken away or were sent to our rooms. We all grew up to be pretty good adults too, and I don't think any one of us spanks our kids. So, why should we need the government to tell us how to bring up our kids? Most parents are in control, and if they're not, they get reported and punished accordingly. An interesting discussion Life... thank you.
• United States
5 Feb 07
I am so glad you responded ...your view has been another side of the coin ...all kids don't need to be spanked and you are proof of that ...I am in agreeance with you as for when kids should be spanked ... only the parent that lives with this child knows what they need... thank you for the compliment .. :) I am really enjoying reading all the responses too ..all very intersting ...
@Darkwing (21588)
8 Feb 07
You're very welcome to the compliment. Credit where credit's due and all that. I'm giving you a + for this.
1 person likes this
• Canada
29 Jan 07
Where I live, there is ALREADY a law that says it's illegal to spank, or slap, or physically punish in any way, a child under the age of 2. The reason for this is that a child under the age of 2 has no concept of right and wrong, spanking merely makes the parent feel like they've done something, while in fact they are needlessly abusing their children. What point is there to spanking a small child for something that they don't know is wrong, and will forget about in 5 minutes?
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Jan 07
I can't even imagine that you have children! How in the world can you not realize that children at the age of 2 have no concept of right or wrong????!!!! A spanking is not a beating! And a beating is inhumane!!! There is as much difference between spanking and beating as there is between night and day!!!
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Jan 07
iamiramadnama , I am going to disagree with you ...I have a 2 yr old and she very much understands what is right and wrong now...How long has this law been in effect in your country ?? I am curius as I have talked to people in Australia and they are saying that the kids are out of hand and there is no controling them now ...sad for the kids and parents alike
• Nepal
27 Jan 07
Its the example of law favour of child, coz under the age of 3 they dont know how to invest their time, how to behave with their parents. So, why their parents spank the child? anyother option may be think by the parents.
• United States
27 Jan 07
that may be... thanks so much for adding your opinion
@mkirby624 (1599)
• United States
28 Jan 07
Hmm, I have to say that children under 3 know how they should and shouldn't behave if they've been raised properly. They are fully aware of certain things that they can and cannot do. Toddlers can be very caniving, and throw fits just to try to get what they want. They think crying will get it for them, so they use it. They are smarter than people give them credit for.
@SageMother (2277)
• United States
8 Feb 07
Spanking a child under 3 is a usualess activity. Now, I am not saying that the upbiquitous hand slap isn't appropriate when the child might endanger himself, but a full paddling is just cruel. Under the age of 3 a child doesn't really connect cause and effect that well, of course most adults don't do that either, but the child DOES connect the pain with theperson dishing it out. The fact that you can confine the child fairly easily under 3 allows for other approachess.
• United States
12 Feb 07
I must say most kids before they are 3 know what the word no is and means ... so confinement is better than a spanking when you confine a child when does he get to learn whats right and wrong ...??? ...hhmmm I don't know if like the sound of that ... thanks for your response ... another side of the coin ...lol
@Mamaof2 (574)
• Canada
5 Feb 07
I personally dont believe in spanking at all. I am not saying that my children haven't gotten a swat on the but..but in my case it doesn't work with the disipline of my children. I think as long as a parent knows how not to cross the line and it is used for means of disipline...then it is their choice. Maybe passing the ablove law with an age limit is simpily about the fact that young children to not understand disipline and right from wrong? I dont really know... I guess it is in each individuals hands :S
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Feb 07
well in my eyes a swat on the butt is a spanking ... and some kids respond to that and some don't ...alot of kids never need a spanking as they responder right before you has stated she never gota spanking ...but it shouldn't be in the governments hands this choice ... thank for responding
@dulin08 (23)
• United States
5 Feb 07
Spanking a child is used for guiding the child in learning right from wrong, good behavior and bad behavior. Abusing a child is out of ignorance and no self control, poor parenting skills, etc... Spanking is a long, long way from abusing. This is insane. The government spends millions on youth detention centers, holding these young kids because they never learned right and wrong. Yet they want to take the control out the parents hands, nice job. Maybe we should try giving the power back to parents, and teachers since the last couple of decades kids have had the upper hand.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Feb 07
very well said ...the kids are getting the upper hand and this will just increse that situation ...thanks
• Philippines
2 Feb 07
I agree with this law, because maybe they are thinking about the welfare of the child. Kids, especially babies are very delicate human being and they can easily get hurt so this law is for their own protection. With early pregnancies, sometimes it is really hard to determine if these people could be great parents to their children so I guess it's fair.
• United States
5 Feb 07
I can't see anyone spanking a baby, we are talking about toddlers ...but thanks for responding ..its nice to see a different view point