How Can You Forget & Forgive Unfaithful Husband?

Philippines
January 20, 2007 9:08pm CST
You love your husband with all your heart. Infact,he was become your WORLD and your LIFE.You know that he is being unfaithful so many times but you ignore it just to keep holding on and to save your marriage. Until one day, you see him with his another woman face to face. How can you forgive him???Can you still trust him???Is it right to still give him another chance just because for your children sake???
2 people like this
14 responses
@abi1005 (194)
• Philippines
22 Jan 07
don't be silly...you'll just get yourself another heartache..i know it is easy for me to say this. but you have to face the reality..you've been hurt so many times, i think it's time for you to wake up..holding on to a relationship for the sake of the children won't do any good to you and your husband. it would just prolong your agony. i assume you wouldn't like your children to grow up seeing you in misery, right?
1 person likes this
• Philippines
22 Jan 07
I've already face the reality and im hopeless for the 2 of us. I know this is hard but seeing my children frustrations why their father & me not living in the same house. And always bothers them and since my oldest son trying to ask me favor to be with his dad again.It hurting me a lot that i cant give what he want. My sons are 4 years old and 9 years this year.They are too young to understand everything...I know, someday, somehow,they can accept it too!!
@abi1005 (194)
• Philippines
23 Jan 07
don't worry, your kids will someday understand what you're going through..
1 person likes this
• Philippines
22 Jan 07
That's the downside of loving, you need to be ready to get yourself hurt. You can always forgive in the right time. Remember, nothing can ever be healed overnight. You just got to have faith. :) Trust? It can still be brought back to your system when you've learn to forgive him. Ask yourself: Am I holding on too long?
1 person likes this
• Philippines
23 Jan 07
Actually, that is what im doing right now, letting the time healed my wounds completely!!!
@lauriefnp (5112)
• United States
21 Jan 07
No one can tell you if it is right or wrong to give him yet another chance. However, this type of situation is probably not the best thing for the children in the long run. Besides hearing and seeing their parents argue, it is sending the wrong message to them about what marriage is all about. Personally, I could never forgive this type of infidelity. This isn't even a one-time thing that he can explain away as a mistake. It sounds as if he has been disrespecting you for some time. You have to realize that you deserve so much better than this. I hope that you can get the strength to let him go.
• Philippines
22 Jan 07
Yeah, it is really hard for me to give him another chance. But God knows what is best for me. What future may i have it depends on HIM!!!
• United States
20 Mar 07
i would never be able to forgive and forget. i would have to leave my husband if he was ever unfaithful to me. this is because i would never be able to trust him again, i would always be wondering what he is doing and who he is talking with. i would always be checking the time, calling him, and anything else i could do to keep track of him, and that is NO way to live. neither one of us would be happy. it doesnt matter that we have 2 kids, my babies are my world, and i want to give them all of my love and attention. i wouldnt want to waste my energy on worrying about my cheating husband.
1 person likes this
@rsa101 (13820)
• Quezon City, Philippines
21 Feb 07
Oh move on! I say that he repeatedly cheated on you and there's no more need to live in a relationship that is full of lies and deceit. Trust? What trust? where was that when you found out that despite everything he still betrayed you how can you forgive such a man. For the children sake? Would you like to let your kids grow knowing their dad cheated on you and he still continues to cheat you since he knows that you would forgive him for the sake of the children. I said move on lady teach him a lesson about life and love.
• United States
20 Feb 07
This is a tough one. I don't think I would have to see it personally. Just to know about it would be almost unbearable. My husband and I have discussed this in great depth...even before we were actually married. I don't know how I would react. I don't think anyone can truly know that until they have actually been in that situation. I will say this...the only way you can truly stay together after something like this happens is to deal with it and then move on. The mention of it is forever forbidden if you want your marriage to work. It works both ways for husbands and wives. Without going into detail, my husband held true to his word on this one...as if nothing ever happened. I hope that if the tables turn, I'll be the same way with him. Trust is hard enough to earn and once it's lost, it's even harder to earn back. It can be done. It cannot be just for the sake of the children or I think both will be miserable.
@vangie79 (198)
• Philippines
15 Feb 07
Kids can't save the marriage... It's between the couple. If they can't fix the problem then let go of one who cheat. Kids can feel if their parents have problems.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
15 Feb 07
Forgetting and Forgiving someone is not easy. It is a process. The answer to all your questions will come from your heart, always listen to what your heart says because it will lead you to the right path.
@Shaun72 (15968)
• Palatka, Florida
10 Feb 07
I forgive my ex husband although now we are apart. I know I don't want him back because I don't trust him at first I did but now looking back no way.
@edward13 (130)
• Philippines
10 Feb 07
why not? giving him you forgiveness doesnt mean giving him you love once more. just for the sake of your kids, try to make it up with him. take note of this, once a mistake is done, 100 % it will be done again....and again and again....
1 person likes this
@ally12 (1204)
• Philippines
22 Apr 11
Ive been betrayed/lied by my husband many times in different ways and circumstances but decided to stay with him with the main reason, my children. But I knew the fact that living in a marriage of lies and deception is just same as living in the wonderful world of fantasy. To forgive and to forget will always be by choice by the cheated spouse. And that there will never be right or wrong decision. As both decision will always carry its pros and cons. The criteria I only see if the decision made was right was if those people who have been victimized (specially the children) ended up or grown up with right disposition and never negatively affected.
@besthope44 (12145)
• India
11 Aug 10
Love can forgive and forget!!
@myRose57 (153)
• Philippines
8 Apr 07
Forgive and forget infidelity is the most difficult task to do. Especially when there is no more trust left. I think forgive and forget thing can only happen when your unfaithful hasband has become invalid, physically handicapped and financially ruined. Because by then you are certain that he will and can never perform the act of unfaithfulness. But since you don't want that to happen to him, start making your own WORLD and get your own LIFE back. He (the infidel) did not bring you into this world and did not feed you to be alive. Your children will admire you more if they see a strong woman, enough to defend them and keep them safe from unfaithful father. Smile !!!
@sutan74 (1113)
• Philippines
26 Mar 07
It's hard to forget the hurtful things done to you by someone you love. Especially unfaithfulness or being betrayed, forgiving someone takes time. But the healing comes more easily if we forgive and we can also move on with our lives.