Letting go of someone whom you know is not right for you.

Philippines
January 21, 2007 5:06pm CST
It is so hard to let go of somebody whom you really like being with and love so much. There are situations where he or she may be married that's why you have to let go. Sometimes, the guy or girl you love is a total jerk who does not appreciate you and only takes and takes but never gives, and yet you still love him. They say that the head is placed over the heart for a reason. How do you let go? What if after evaluating the circumstances, you still love him or her?
15 people like this
86 responses
21 Jan 07
I let go of my last partner because he was constantly taking from me, my money, my energy, anything and everything whilst saying that he loved me, etc. I was with him for two years and lived with him for one year and it was during the time of sharing a house with him, I saw him for what he really was, he wouldn't do any of the housework, kept borrowing from me and not paying me back, etc. It actually made me quite ill. It got to the point where I had had enough and I called it a day on the relationship and moved back in with my parents and a few weeks later it struck me how little he'd actually thought of me to act the way he did and I had been an easy target for providing him with a home, food, etc and I realised that it was one side of him I had fallen in love with and not the entire person.
• Italy
22 Jan 07
really?!?!?! i don't know!!!!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
27 Jan 07
I am happy for you that you have come through from this challenge that life has brought you. I have been in the same boat and it was really very bad too. On the other hand, I really loved that person but then it was really draining to be the provider. We had to have a major fight for me to get out of that relationship.
• United Arab Emirates
21 Jan 07
Letting go of someone  - Letting go of someone  whom you know is not right for you.
oh man ur so rite it is not so ezi to let go any one u love and any one can not see thr loved one with some one else speiclay if he/she is married....it hurts and hurts bad...not ezi 2 let go but one should,i know if ur like truly in love with that person regardless if the person is good or bad...that means u realy r in love with that person but dont u think even if u know he/she is married n has a family y should one be selfish? love is not selfish...love is sacrificing feelings for the happiness of the lover..beter leave the lover alone with his/her family and move on....God might give u a beter person then him/her who can and wil value ur love in other words ull be rewarded!
2 people like this
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
It is true that we must do the right thing, that is to let go, but we don't usually do the right things. It is hard to be in love with a person such as that especially if he or she expresses the same love to you.
@Willowlady (10658)
• United States
22 Jan 07
Just realizing that you are no good together and making a point of moving on with your life. In my case each person I have had a relationship is still in some way a part of me. I remember them and appreciate the time we had together however it was time to move on and they became my past. New horizons is an exciting thing and keeping your thought pointed forward goes a long way to improving your life.
1 person likes this
@justiman (428)
• United States
22 Jan 07
Well put!
• Philippines
20 Feb 07
Sometimes these things are easier said than done. The brain surely does give us perspectives set very objectively but some of us do follow our heart who give us options subjectively.
@shana123 (2095)
• India
27 Jan 07
hey i wont be so stupid because ive been experienced and i was very stupid with two of the stupids that is my great ex-friends in my life!!!! now they are with me still,i know they need me but both of them have betrayed me!!!! i loved them and trusted them a lot and they paid and reciprocated their love by hurting me!!!! they want me now but i just smile whenever i see them thats all no more love exists between us!!! i will never go behind them and will allow them in my life!!! if my partner does the same!!! the same will be happening to him,im sure!!!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
20 Feb 07
It is truly hard to find the ideal partner. Some say that I have to settle for less. But the truth is I have even settled for the lesser of less but I still end up with the worst. We must take care of ourselves and not let these persons treat us badly.
@babyjane (1390)
• Philippines
31 Jan 07
it is hard to let go when you give all right? but you already know she is not worth for you why hold on? Let go and move on that's it
1 person likes this
• Philippines
20 Feb 07
Sometimes it is really easier said than done. Some people hold on for the hope of change but some hold on because they could not just simply let go. I may be in both situations but it really is up to ourselves to take charge and take care of things. We must also be ready to take on the pain in this stage because it will truly hurt.
@legpain (86)
• Malaysia
21 Jan 07
A person has to be realistic and understand that a relationship does not only involve love.
2 people like this
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
Your thought actually boggled me. In entering a relationship, isn't it that you should love the person? Do you enter a relationship just because of a potential gain from the other? For me, when I enter into a relationship, it means that I am in love with that person and I love seeing and being with that person.
@hariharbhat (1312)
• India
22 Jan 07
That is why LOVE is told to be BLIND Mr./Miss A loves first and then thinks about the background of the loved.Later if a realisation comes out that the loved one is not the right person to have been loved.But the factor of Love is so rigid that it will not give out it's qualities and doesn't allow the lover to come out of the unknown fence of the loved. Join this site to earn dollars : www.agloco.com/r/BBBK7692 Join once and Free ; refer your friends and Keep quiet. The site will work for you and give dollars.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Jan 07
Thank you for your response and have a nice day!
@anne_143god (5387)
• Philippines
22 Jan 07
I think you should let go of a person if you feel that you really dont love him or her and you think that he/she is only taking an advantage of your good will.
• Philippines
28 Jan 07
It is true that you must let go of a person whom you think you are not in love with. But what if you know that you are actually in love and love to be with this person? There might be some things that tell you that you are not right for each other but both of you would love to work things out. How would you handle it? Would you choose the love or your brain? Thank you for responding and have a nice day!
• United States
22 Jan 07
There are times when you simply have to think with your mind over your heart, as much as it hurts or seems impossible. You have to tell yourself that this relationship is not good for you and that YOU deserve better. I know it can be tough, believe me I know. I was in love with a man that treated me like a queen, was so beautiful in so many ways and shared my very soul. I had to let go because I knew that the age difference was going to be just too hard. Sure, we were great now but he deserved to have the right to have kids and enjoy those aspects of life. If he were to marry me I didn't want more kids (I have 3 teens now, done with the baby years), not to mention we would certainly reach a point where I was simply "too old" versus him. As much as I knew we currently loved each other, and had loved each other for 3 years, I knew I had to let go. Still hurts today but I have moved on as much as I can and allowed myself to understand that sometimes you need to use your mind over your heart. Good luck.
• Philippines
28 Jan 07
I wish I could be as you who could let go of that kind of person. If I was in your shoes I don't think I would have let go. Age difference for me is not that big a deal for as long as he/she is not below eighteen! All this set aside, were you truly in love?
• Philippines
22 Jan 07
Letting go is painful, heartbreaking.. most of the time, consumes your whole self.. Its okay to give yourself time to mourn. But then, for a certain period only. After the strom, get back in your feet. Start living again and looking for all possibilities and chances. Let go means taking 1 step forward in the ladder of maturity. Just like the song goes -- letting go, is just another way to say I always love you so.. SO, set her / him free. Let fate do its course.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Jan 07
What if the storm stays much longer than you expected? I have heard of people who responded here that their storm even lasted as much as two years. I just hope while it storms we would be able to look for the other chances and possibilities as you say. It is not the other person whom you should set free first, it is yourself whom you should try to set free from all this that has haunted and bothered you. Thank you for responding to the discussion and have a nice day!
@aakansha (60)
• India
22 Jan 07
this thing is really hard...but trust me...its only after u let it go...n then u will realise tht it was the best thing u did in life. there is nothing gained by being in love with someone who is not worth it. who doesnt care.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Jan 07
Well I guess if you put it in that case then it would be proper to let go. If you know that he/she is not worth it because he/she does not care for you it is easier to let go but if that person is also in love with you and cares for you it is hard to forget and let go.
• Philippines
22 Jan 07
well, i am also in the same situation as you.. im inlove with someone who is inlove with someone who is also inlove with someone... get it?? actually, i just wish that some magic would just make him fall for me so that it will be me and him,, the end!!! but then, he is so hopeful to win the girl's love just like how hopeful i am to win his... though he tried to forget the girl, the way i tried to forget him, it just didnt work out... so here we are, complicating our lovelife.... i guess thats how it really goes in love,,, anyway, love is not that fair...
1 person likes this
• Philippines
29 Apr 07
This is another situation. In which case at least you haven't been that intimate with each other. In our case we have been together and we were physically and emotionally intimate.
@moirax23 (317)
• Malta
22 Jan 07
you can only ignore the situation for a while, then it will only be harder for you to let go. Be brave!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Jan 07
Ignoring the situation I think would not help. By being brave, do you mean that one should let go or hold on to the relationship? Thank you for responding and have a nice day!
• India
22 Jan 07
If you love someone truely even if consist 100 of faults still u will love that person as love is blind
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Jan 07
Does this mean that you would recommend to follow your heart and not let go even with all these faults? Thank you for responding and have a nice day!
@alchemistrx (2547)
• Philippines
22 Jan 07
It hard to let go of someone you love but you have to let go because you have been hurt of what he did.I would still love him but not much when we were that close.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Jan 07
It is truly hard to let go but because he/she has hurt you, this would make things easier. Would you still love and stay with him/her even if you got hurt? Thank you for your response and have a nice day!
@sweetrala (1436)
• Philippines
22 Jan 07
When it comes to LOVE, its really complicated.To let go of someone is the hardest thing to do, but if it rally doesnt work out then stopt the craziness and move on.There is nothing to do but MOVE ON.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Jan 07
These people know that they must move on. But sometimes they would still choose the craziness in this world. They would rather be crazy in love than be lonely and lost in love.
• Philippines
22 Jan 07
hi there.... when i had my first boyfriend, i didnt know that he got a girl friend already and soon after he got her pregnant. It was so hard to let him go but that's just the right thing to do.. it was hard of course, there were sleepless nights, crying almost everyday... He told me that he loves me and if he could have just met me a little bit earlier. he's gonna marry me right away.... but maybe that's the way it is, some things are not meant to be.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Jan 07
This kind of experience is really very moving and quite painful. Saying and hearing these words from the person that you love would tear me apart leaving him. Sleepless nights and tears would really be the result of this. Although some people would still fight for this love not unless the other person is in love with another.
@bindishah (2062)
• India
22 Jan 07
Its true that people say 'Love is Blind'. When you are in love with someone you do not see whether what they are doing is right or wrong. And when they leave us it is still difficult - difficult to believe that theya re no longer in our life. It hurts a lot but i guess time is the no. 1 healer. You should not force yourself to let go - time will do that for you.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Jan 07
I really like your last statement wehre you should not force yourself to let go and let time do it for you. It is very true that time heals the wound of a broken heart. Time away from that person would ease the pain. It is really difficult to accept the fact that this person whom we love so much would no longer be a part of our life and all things said, it would be nice to finally get over it the sooner the better. Thank you for responding to the discussion and have a nice day!
@livvy092002 (1032)
• Philippines
22 Jan 07
its really hard.. but i managed to let go by stopping my communication to that someone who i know is not right for me.. i deleted his name in my phone directory so i wouldnt be able able to text or call him ever again.. i try to shift my attention to other things like work, hobbies, new guys.. hehe
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Jan 07
Loss of communication is really one way of forgetting someone. But, in this case, one must be ready to let go and finally forget him/her and maintain the loss of communication. The shifting of attention to another person or to other persons is also very effective. Going out on dates and meeting new people is quite helpful in this transition.
@adaline (32)
• Philippines
22 Jan 07
attachment it is.. letting go of someone is detaching yourself from that one you love.. you detach from the bond that you've had.. you try to let the memories and the feeling go but never forgetting.. its hard to detach, especially to the one that shares your dream.. your future and your plan.. but think about the bright side of teh story crate a better dream and think of more things to do..
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Jan 07
The process of detachment is really a part of this transition. You must stand not being with him/her and not speaking or texting him/her. It should be a total blockage and stoppage of communication.