Do You Compromise Or Restraint

@kathy77 (7488)
Australia
January 21, 2007 10:09pm CST
Hi do you compromise or restraint in your relationship, Do you let your partner try to push you around, give you orders or make you feel a put down. Or do you tell them exactly what you think of them. I do not allow my husband to put restrainst on me. I feel just because we are married does not give anybody a right to do this to their partner if they want to stay married and feel loved.
1 person likes this
19 responses
@fujin1985 (684)
• Philippines
22 Jan 07
i think that compromising is the best thing in relationships to last. letting them control us is no good, or vice versa.
@maryannemax (12170)
• Sweden
22 Jan 07
it's not right to control the other. instead, a relationshipo will go further when couples work together.
• Philippines
23 Jan 07
Being restraint or submissive in a relationship is just fine as long as you compromised as well with your partner. You know in relationship it always takes two persons to make it work. No matter what the status of your relationship, be it in marriage or not, each one of you should give respect to one another. In your case, I suggest that both of you should have a discussion or an open communication line. With this, I guess everything will be settled. Do not sleep if there are any arguments unresolved.
• United States
23 Jan 07
restraints are a sign of abuse even if it is just mild abuse.. anyways compromise is very important.. there should always be give and take in a relationship to keep it balanced!
• Australia
23 Jan 07
I compromise. Because when you start forcing someone to do as your will, then it would not be a healthy relationship anymore. Relationship is about respect, and we should respect the decision of our partners, and restraining someone is just the opposite of it. I usually tell my boyfriend what I thought of an issue, and he might agree and he might not agree with me, sometimes we do fight because of this, but other times, we talk and discuss it and in the end reach a conclusion or a compromise of some sort.
@missybal (4492)
• United States
23 Jan 07
I guess I am the more pushy one in the relationship, but I do compromise. I have a tendancy of saying things in a way that it is like an order, then my husband jumps to it and I'm going back and saying honey I didn't mean you had to do what I said. If I was the really pushy type he is the type to do anything I ask of him. I try not to abuse that though. I love him very much and I wouldn't want to treat him like that because I know he would never do that to me.
@jayarajgr (818)
• India
23 Jan 07
I dont feel good when I give orders. Its better to compromise and talk to her when there is a problem.
• Germany
22 Jan 07
I believe no relationship can be successful unless there is a compromise. Everyone has to do a compromise in order to make the relation successful.
@mikhail7 (176)
• Philippines
22 Jan 07
If you really love each other, you have to meet half way. Come to terms that bth of you would agree. My wife is a Psychology graduate. She taught me things that I never knew. Tamed the lion in me. My very own personal shrink and I love her very much.
@edigital (2710)
• United States
22 Jan 07
I never compromise and restraint. Ofcourse I have no much caos with my relationship.
@pisha16 (55)
• United States
22 Jan 07
Theres a difference between comprimising and being pushed around. A comprimise is a 'middle point' where both of you can agree. If little Tommy wants you to go to his basketball game but your friend susie wants you to go dancing, You tell them both that you will stay at tommy's game for the first half, and go dancing after that. I agree that there should be minimal to no restraints in a relationship. It is considered controlling and shouldnt be happening.
@Bev1986 (1427)
• United States
22 Jan 07
We've been married 20 years and I feel the key to our relationship is communication. Neither one of us feels like the other pressures them into doing something they don't want to do. Compromise is very important in any relationship. If I want to do something and my husband doesn't, we will talk about it and decide together if we should or shouldn't do it. Yes, occasionally we'll decide the opposite of what I want... but it's usually for a good reason.
@rubypatson (1842)
• India
22 Jan 07
I compromise most of the time, sometimes i do get angry but i dont show at that time, i talk to him later about it when he has become cool, although its not easy yet i think one of the partners need to compromise to make the relationship last longer
@calico79 (173)
• United States
22 Jan 07
I will let my husband put restraint on me to a certain extent. The bible tells me to love, honor, and obey. Sometimes i have a problem with the obey part. My husband does not always make wise choices and I am not afraid to tell him what I think and I do not let him push me around.
• Pakistan
22 Jan 07
hmm i dun compromise becoz i really dun feel like duing it!! y do other ppl do always what they want and we be like idiots always compromise!!
@missyd79 (3438)
• United States
22 Jan 07
i try to compromise as much as i can in my relstionship, but some things i have to put a stop too, because if i didn't we would not have any money to pay bills, my bf loves to spend money on stupid stuff. so i will just put a stop to it if he is overspending sometimes, but that is about it.
22 Jan 07
This is not something that I have really had to worry about. We are very open and up front with our feelings. I would never let anyone control me. If I truly don't want to do something, then I just won't do it. I will explain as to why though. We have never had an argument in the 5 years of marriage. I think that is because we always communicate our feelings. We love and respect each other, but we still have our own identities.
• Australia
22 Jan 07
A partnership, by definition, is two people working together for a common cause and for the common good of each other. In a marriage or any true partnership, there must be give and take. Before there can be give and take, there has to be respect and appreciation. There has to be a sharing of ideas, and for that, there must be open communication. In a partnership, neither is superior or "the boss". Because both are working for the common good, neither would wish to dominate the other. Where there is this mutual respect and mutual purpose, I have not known any serious differences of opinion.
@gabs8513 (48715)
• United Kingdom
22 Jan 07
Well yes I did Kathy not so much in telling me what to do but being pushed around and not standing up for myself I was to scared for many years of People and would never stand up for myself I would cower Then I was promoted to Area Manager or somehow without realising after all them years I was not scared anymore I would still not argue back but I would stand up for myself and still things did not change and 7 years later I snapped and that was the end of the marriage as my Kids where old enough then to understand
@maryannemax (12170)
• Sweden
22 Jan 07
i am in a very healthy relationship with my boyfriend for 9 months now. he allows me to say what i feel and what i want to say. he lets me do what i wanna do and even supports me all the time. i do the same for him. i feel that open communication is always a necessity in a relationship.