OMG I HATE child support

@jade01 (803)
Australia
January 22, 2007 5:04pm CST
my husband has a child from a previouse relationship and we pay $700 a month in child support. our account was $119 behind and so child support froze my husbands bank account. What makes it worse is that the twind father is 10,000 behind in his child support and hasnt made a payment in 5years and is getting away with it because child support cant find him. do you pay or receive child support and have a story about it to tell?
4 people like this
9 responses
• United States
22 Jan 07
Just be proud that your husband is taking his reponsibility seriously and supporting his child that he helped to make! If this is bothering you so much then you should have thought about it before you got married! This child never asked to be born and deserves to be supported, not resented!
@jade01 (803)
• Australia
22 Jan 07
no one said i resented his child. DID you READ it properly? they froze his account over $119 that sucks because he pays regular child support of $700 a month And im pissed because my ex has not paid for years and gets away with it
@jade01 (803)
• Australia
22 Jan 07
oh yeah, I am proud of my hubby for trying to help his daughter but its a shame she is dressed in raggy cloths and we cant do a thing about it. his $700 a month should have his daughter dressed in the best clothes
• United States
24 Jan 07
Child support can go towards household expenses. His ex is providing a home, paying utilities, providing food, etc for the child, his child support goes towards those things as well...it's not like she is supposed to be purchading $700 worth of shoes and clothes. $700 sounds reasonable unless he is making less than 35k a year.
2 people like this
• United States
24 Jan 07
Well my kids father (2 of them) pays 290 a month, all together. It gets deducted from his check. I spend that on my kids, i get them clothes, shoes, whatever they want with their fathers money, and pay the bills with my own. I work 3 jobs to support my kids, and my husband is the only father they know. He pays it, only cuz he has too, and he doesnt see them. Id rather he spend time with them then his money.
2 people like this
• United States
24 Jan 07
I think it is wonderful that you have such an outlook about your kids seeing their dad. It is such a shame that he doesn't spend time with them. My husband would kill to see his kids more but his ex holds them hostage in another state. She sees him as nothing more than an ATM machine.
• United States
23 Jan 07
Oh honey! I feel your pain. My husband pays around $1500 a month for two kids and it REALLY hurts right now because he is out of work. We filed for a tempoary reduction that he is entitled too but his ex is delaying, delaying, delaying just to screw him. And the best part is...she is married to a millionaire and doesn't work. We would never have even filed if we thought his children would want for anything. Now they are just wanting for their father because he can't afford to go fly and see them in the state mom moved to. The system is VERY screwed up and I will NEVER understand how those who pay regulary can get screwed if something small is missed and others can go years with NO action from the court. My husband's company screwed up a child support payment once and in no time he was slapped with a contempt charge. How do so many people not pay and get away with it?
@jade01 (803)
• Australia
24 Jan 07
I really do feel for your family, I know just how hard it is to keep up with child support - I wish your family well:)
• United States
24 Jan 07
Child support is definitely a positive thing. I apologize that they froze your husbands bank account, because I do think that was extreme. I feel for you that you are not receiving cs for your 2 childrem. Unfortunately, if you can't find someone, well, you can't find them. I'm not sure what can be do[ne in this type of situation. My brother's father would routinely quit jobs whenever cs caught up with him and up and move. Some men are just trifling and while I wish there was something that could be done, I wonder what?
2 people like this
• United States
23 Jan 07
Can you see if he can get it lowered maybe? I know that's what my step dad did and now he only has to pay $700 a month rather than $1400. Hope everything works out for you guys
1 person likes this
@jade01 (803)
• Australia
23 Jan 07
we have tried to have it lowered but cant, however we have not given up
• Canada
23 Jan 07
Since child support is income based, if you can't get it lowered it probably means you are making enough to pay it. If your ex is meant to pay less, it is because he makes less income. I agree though that it's not right that they can't go after your ex. that's frustrating.
@jade01 (803)
• Australia
24 Jan 07
we could afford it if my ex paid for the twins, but as it stands we get no help for the twins at all
@hottie0728 (1732)
• United States
24 Jan 07
Do you have any idea on how they calculate the child support payment? My boyfriend has 2 kids and I have no idea how much he's paying monthly.
• United States
24 Jan 07
It depends, but generally it is a percentage of his income. 20% would not be uncommon. Child support is meant to provide the child with a lifestyle similar to the one they would have lived if the parents were still together in the same household.
1 person likes this
@jade01 (803)
• Australia
24 Jan 07
I dont know how they calculate childsupport in the U.S. but here in australia it is a complicated process and depends on many different factors like how much you have to do with your child ect.
@remaster74 (4067)
• Greece
22 Jan 07
I do not recieve child support although I really need it and I think I deserve it. But I think you have to accept the law. I wish you will never reach the point to say that child support authorities were right.
1 person likes this
@jade01 (803)
• Australia
23 Jan 07
I will never except child support law nor will i ever agree with them
@lonewolfnan (4367)
• Canada
16 Feb 07
I did pay child support when my son lived with my ex(he has since grown up and is now on his own) and when we first broke up,I was sending money when ever I had any as there was no agreement in place for us.After a few years,she applied for a divorce and when the verdict came in,the courts decided I should pay LESS then what I had been sending but we continued on the way we were doing it as I did not want my son to suffer chances due to lack of funding.
@carlaabt (3508)
• United States
25 Jan 07
My dad has two daughters from a previous marriage and four children with my mom. I remember how hard it was growing up because my dad always paid child support on time. He's a logger, so when he worked, the money was good, but if the weather was bad or he was hurt, he didn't make any money. I remember one time when my little sister was first born, she couldn't have been more than 2 months old, my mom hadn't even gone back to work yet. We got a knock on our door and the police came and arrested my dad, right there in front of all of us, for not paying his child support. The bad thing was, he had already sent the check and it got lost in the mail. The cops showed up only three days after it was due. It was a very scary experience for us. From what I understand, that doesn't really happen very often, but my dad's ex brother in law was a cop so he pushed for it to happen sooner. My dad always paid on time, even if it meant that he had to borrow money from my mom's mom since some months we only had my mom's income, and it wasn't even twice as much as they had to pay for child support. What makes my mom really mad is that we always had to do without, while my sisters got a lot more than we had, yet they don't appreciate anything that my mom does/did for them. Their mom told them that our dad never paid a penny for them. My parents, of course, have paperwork proving they did, but they don't want to show it to them even though they are all grown up. My dad would rather them think badly about my mom than their own.