Homework-- not just for the kids anymore?

@KrisNY (7609)
United States
January 23, 2007 6:09pm CST
Do you agree with this statement? I swear-- Every night I am doing homework with my child.. twice this year she has brought home a family project-- We had to build a longhouse- with real bark and twigs.. This was hilarious-- thankfully I'm pretty crafty. After several burns from the hot glue gun on my fingers we had a great longhouse done. teacher said hers was the Best! : ) It took us 3 nights. Anyways I feel that we as parents have homework just like our kids.. I am teaching my child her lessons to help her with homework- I say didn't you learn this in school today? No we ran out of time?? Man she is only in the 5th grade- I hope it isn't always this way.. there may be a day when I say I have no Clue! Anyone else with these thoughts?? Please share your experiences.. thanks!
19 people like this
85 responses
@brendalee (6086)
• United States
24 Jan 07
We have the opposite problem. My boyfriends son hardly ever comes home with homework and its been this way for awhile. He is almost 15. I wish the school would at least have a family project once or twice a year. It sounds like fun.
4 people like this
@KrisNY (7609)
• United States
24 Jan 07
Oh fun it wasn't! Not at the time-- holding big pieces of bark together and tieing them with string and thenhot glueing it all... We even had to make beds and all the stuff for the inside- the last family project was a travel brochure for Ethiopia.. now that was a hoot-- learning about Ethiopia. I hope when my daughter is 15 she will have very little homework!
3 people like this
• United States
24 Jan 07
I think the whole homework thing is ridiculous. Not only do they come home with HOURS of it to do, then they expect the family to become involved. Perhaps it's not the right TIME for your family. Perhaps you, the parent, have a huge project at work,etc. and while you love to spend time with the kids it might not be reasonable to think the parent can at the teacher's beck and call be there to do a project. Personally, I always comment to teachers who do this stuff. School IS their life, it's NOT mine! It angers me!
3 people like this
• United States
24 Jan 07
Your job is parent, teacher, helper, guidance councelor, etc. If you didn't have the time to commit to being a parent than maybe you shouldn't have chose to have children. Being a parent is one of the hardest jobs in the world, and with an attitude like yours, I pity your children.
3 people like this
@nw1911guy (1135)
• United States
24 Jan 07
Hey giggly, do you work? I think you're being just a little hard on hockey up here.
2 people like this
• United States
24 Jan 07
I agree with Hockeygal. Parents have lives, too. What about the parents that don't get off work until 6pm and then are rushing to make dinner and get the kids baths and then it is off to bed? Are they supposed to keep the kids up until 10pm to do "family projects". Not every family has time to just sit down and do hours of homework with their kids. I guess I am odd though because I send my daughter to school, not just to learn, but to get her out of my hair for 8 hours. It is a break from her never ending whining. I was looking forward to my 2 oldest kids being in school next year but we are moving and I will be homeschooling them starting in the fall. I am not looking forward to it. I like them going away for the day so I can get a break. But, like I said, I'm odd. I don't like spending every waking moment of my life catering to everyone else. Last time I checked I am a person too and there are things I want to do.
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Jan 07
Well it is good to be involved with your child in his/her homework but don't do it for them. I supervise my son's homeork and check it after he is done. If he needs help he asks for it. I think middle school is a time when they start taking care of their homework themselves.
3 people like this
@KrisNY (7609)
• United States
24 Jan 07
Oh great! Middle school is next year- I can't wait-- Well right now I sit with her and read the directions-- ask if she gets it-- Several times she has done the work but not answered what they are asking.. and has to redo it- When she says yes I leave her to it-- And of course I'm there for questions. But I'm really talking about the family projects- thats what the teacher labels them on the handouts- like the longhouse- and then the last one was a brochure on Ethiopia- what fun it was to learn about Ethiopia! thanks for the comment!
3 people like this
@XxAngelxX (2835)
• Canada
24 Jan 07
Yes, I agree, I'm definitely doing homework every night too. Sometimes, especially with my oldest who is in grade 7 now, I have to dig back pretty far in my memory to remember how to go about doing something, especially if it is math. It's been a long time since I was in grade 7. That longhouse sounds like fun, haha. Great job you did on it apparently. I'm usually busy doing posters of "Special Me's " but I did have to help build a volcano that would actually erupt this year and that was pretty interesting.
3 people like this
@KrisNY (7609)
• United States
24 Jan 07
ok so the volcano sounds like fun! I hope in 7th grade we do that one! I never even did it in school. Oh yea I love those posters.. Cut out things you like or things that tell who you are-- Not sure if thats a special me.. but my daughter loves those--
2 people like this
• United States
24 Jan 07
It is tough nowadays, I do dedicated about 1 hour each night to help my daughter with her homework, they seem to being doing different stuff than i used to do. I think they are trying to catch up to the rest of the world in education, since we are so far behind them.
3 people like this
@KrisNY (7609)
• United States
24 Jan 07
Oh yes I dedicate at least that much time.. Its hard though because I want her to be independent and not feel like I'm doing it with her-- So now I try to just read the directions with her and ask if she gets what she is supposed to do- then leave her to do it.. and of course come back and check on her throughout and answer questions- I'm an accountant and deal with math daily- and 5th grade math sometimes has me stumped! : (
2 people like this
@mzbubblie (3840)
• United States
24 Jan 07
Yes I agree, something as simple as the way he subtract or add things is totally different to the way I was taught. I spend about a hour with him. Sometimes I even find myself looking online to find out how they do it now-a days as well
2 people like this
@KrisNY (7609)
• United States
24 Jan 07
Oh yes-- there isn't a day that she doesn't say thats not how we learned it in school. And I say well then if you learned it in school why do you need help- lol.. I try to explain that you get the same answer and my way is usually quicker and easier-- the new ways they have kids doing math- Wowsa!~
1 person likes this
@Kscott (634)
• United States
24 Jan 07
I have two in school, and have to help them with projects and homework that involves the parents or the whole family, about 3-4 times a week. I get tired of it actually, and really frustrated. I think some of these teachers think us parents dont have anything to do but endless hours of homework, that sometimes is tough to figure out, from the poorly written instructions given by the teacher. For parents who work, this has got to be very difficult, to get home, have to get dinner together, baths, and things ready for the next day, tidy up the house and dishes, and to have to spend "your time" doing homework, that in my eyes should have never had to involve you in the first place. My son in first grade used to bring home around 3 hours of homework a night, until I went in and kindly spoke to his teacher, and here come to find out, she was having some serious personal difficulty in her life, and would send most of the work she was supposed to teach and do with them in the classroom, home for us parents to do. I dont mind the occasional project, but here lately we have had to do several in a week, and thats pushing it. I understand the need to get parents involved, but dont like "having" to do things because it's going to make or break my kids grade or them failing the class, because I wasn't feeling good, or whatever. I'm already totally involved with every aspect of my kids lives, and already help them study for tests....I think some teachers just try to pass the buck in a way.
@KrisNY (7609)
• United States
24 Jan 07
To think the teacher sent home the work she was supposed to cover in school. What a shame. I honestly feel that way sometimes- There is such a thing as too much homework. My daughter will write down what is on the board and then we try to decipher it. I told her to start asking what it means before she leaves for the day. Its easier to get the work done if you actually understand what you are trying to accomplish. Thanks for the comment.
2 people like this
@lpetges (3037)
• United States
24 Jan 07
i remember from a few years back, that the kids had massive amounts of homework. I didn't even know how to help with some of their algebra! its crazy that they are overloaded with homework. its actually the parents problem, besides working and paying bills, and carting your kids to sports, etc...
2 people like this
@KrisNY (7609)
• United States
24 Jan 07
Oh I agree totally with you- I feel like if my daughter takes in an assignement not completed because I have no idea on how to do it-- I'm a failure- I tell you I sometimes feel like I should go and sit with her in class and learn it all again! Its usally Math that stumps me.. Then again you wouldn't believe the vocab words we look up! : )
2 people like this
@sbeauty (5871)
• United States
24 Jan 07
Okay, you're right to start with. Teachers intentionally make assignments for parents to help with to try and get them involved in their child's education. Too many parents just aren't involved, and if the parents don't take the time to be involved, then the child gets the message that his education isn't very important. You are your child's best teacher. You can give her individual time and work with her one-on-one, a luxury that her teacher doesn't have. As she gets older, she'll have homework, but she'll be expected to do more and more of it on her own. There's no way I could have helped my son with math once he hit high school, and he didn't need me to. In the lower grades, though, children need the extra help and attention only a parent can provide. Enjoy these years! They'll go quickly, and then you'll wish you had them back. Take it from one who knows!
2 people like this
@stephcjh (32385)
• United States
24 Jan 07
Oh. i know what you mean. Back when my daughter was in elementary school, she ahd homework every night of the week and of course most of it she did not understand how to do and brought to us to help here figure out. Shoot..me or my husband either one could figure it out. Plus the would always send projects home for her to complete with her parents. We have already went to school and after working all day, who wants to take 3 hours to help their child with home work? not that we didnt want to help her or interact and get invovlved inher studies but i think you know what I mean. It was disgusting to send a little girl home with that much work and to put so mush responsibility on the parents. Schools take the fun out of being a child any more.
@jhrcsr (349)
• United States
24 Jan 07
My youngest child is a senior in high school. When she was in mainstream school, we always had one or two assignments per week that we had to "help" her with. They called for a parent's point of view or they were family projects. However she was in a "block" system - where they had each class every other day which allowed the classes to be longer each meeting. Now that she is in a behavior mod school (she got in a lot of fights) she has straight A's, we do not have to help with any aspect of her homework, and she is 10 times happier. The school does not give homework. They have to finish their work in class.
2 people like this
@mcmomss (2601)
• United States
24 Jan 07
I always have to help my boys with their homework. I don't mind helping, but last year my son had a teacher that gave way too much homework and it wasn't things the children could even begin to do on their own. She was a second grade teacher and she should have been a 6th grade teacher. She expected way too much from the kids. I had so much homework, it was ridiculous.
2 people like this
@limosonia1 (1560)
• United States
24 Jan 07
I love being able to help and I also enjoy the projects with all the kids. Although with my oldest son it is getting harder and the projects longer. But it gives us time together since he is 14 I cherish those moments. It's the only time he spends with us anymore since we all of a sudden became old. lol.
2 people like this
• United States
24 Jan 07
i agree i help my sons and daughter with their homework every single night sometimes i don't want to but that is a parents job isn't it? to make sure he is gettin the fullest education
@yrbuddy (51)
• Singapore
25 Jan 07
I have two young kids, aged 7 and 8, and I know what you mean when you said you do homework with them. I suspect that the teacher 'purposely' choose 'difficult' assignments so that parents HAVE to come in and help their kids with the work. This is what the teacher will call 'family-bonding' time. I agree with them to a certain extent that family bonding is important but I think they should set an assignment that needs less than an hour to complete so that both the kid and the parent can have more time for other things. My kids have two spelling tests every week so they need time to do that too. The kids can enhance on their project if they have extra time but the key thing should be that the effort needed should be of less than an hour. Wonder who we can highlight this issue to to improve the learning experience of kids nowadays?
1 person likes this
@KrisNY (7609)
• United States
25 Jan 07
I too agree with family nodning time- However I whole-heartedly believe that kids should have time to play outside, chill out, kick back and play board games with the family. With all the homework and family projects- and sports I am finding it harder and harder to find the time to do this fun stuff to. Thanks for your comment!
@mrscinxav (263)
• United States
24 Jan 07
really it will be very tough for uneducated parents. these homeworks should be given in such a way managable by kids
1 person likes this
@korek222 (703)
• Poland
24 Jan 07
i agree! since children should manage to make their homeworks by themselfs they shouldn't be only family based projects or homeworks should be easier to make them understandable for children!
• United States
24 Jan 07
I agree with you. My children bring things home and say you have to do this with me. I say WHAT?? I am finished with school. I will help you if you need help but why do I have to do it. It turns out to be a family project. I also have to help my kids with there work and they don't have school books that can come home. So how am I to help if I don't know how to do it myself.
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Jan 07
i agree totally and all i mean i seems that way alot and all.
1 person likes this
@meowsy (116)
• United States
25 Jan 07
My daughter is in the 6th grade and the homework is crazy!!!! I feel sorry for kids that dont have the internet at home because we get most of hers done!!! I think school work should be done at school!!! a little homework is fine and by that i mean 30 mins of it not 3 or 4 hours!!!
1 person likes this
@Carnanco (70)
• United States
24 Jan 07
I remember my mom spending lots of time helping me and my sisters with our homework and projects in elementary school. As we got older, we became more independant. Now, I regularly help my son with his homework. Although I have to say, he has never come home and said that they didn't learn that lesson in school. I firmly believe homework should re-inforce what you've learned already. Parents are not teachers and should not be expected to teach the lesson. If that ever happened with my son, you can bet I'd be on the phone with the school the next day asking what that teacher is being paid for if I'm expected to do the teaching.
@tams85 (30)
• Canada
24 Jan 07
I think the teachers might be trying to incorporate family values into their lessons plans, and 'family projects' to them seem like a good way for parents to spend time with their kids. I know a couple with a kid in grade 3, and they're both lawyers, so they are very busy, but because it is a school project, they'll make the time to sit with their kid and help them whereas before, they might take on an extra case or something. So I think it's a good idea for those kids that wouldn't normally spend a whole lot of time with their parents otherwise, but then there are those parents who are working two jobs just to make ends meet, and don't have the time to help their kid. You can't make everybody happy..