missing a loved one
By ljcapps
@ljcapps (1925)
United States
January 24, 2007 4:09am CST
I have been sitting here doing a lot of thinking lately. I have been considering buying a monument (a headstone) for my daughter. I lost her in june of '96. I know that she has no headstone anywhere, she was lost while my girlfriend was pregnant. I now have a healthy son and I would like for him to know that he had a sister. Even though she wont be buried where the headstone lies should I still buy her one and try to explain what it means to my son?
3 responses
@brendalee (6082)
• United States
24 Jan 07
First, I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a child has to be one of the toughest things to live through. I'm guessing that she does not have a grave as she was too early in the pregnancy to bury. Is that correct? I think some type of memorial would be a good idea. Even if the child was not born yet, she still deserves to be remembered.
1 person likes this
@ljcapps (1925)
• United States
24 Jan 07
Oh she is remembered everyday. I remember shrotly before my son was born, seven years later, waking up to hearing a baby's cry. I would rush around the house looking for her. Then the world would impose itself and the memory would come crashing back to me. I tried to explain it to my then girlfriend, now wife(not my daughter's mother) only to still feel empty. My wife was the one who encouraged me to at least think about buying Shalie a headstone. My mother-in-law has even given me a plot of land on wich to put it. Now I have only to find the right one.
@brokentia (10389)
• United States
24 Jan 07
I think this is a great idea. I am sure that it would help you and your partner to mourn and love the little girl you both lost. And I do not see anything wrong with your son knowing that he had a sister. It might help him to appreciate what he does have more.
A headstone means a lot to people...I know, I have yet to see my father's and am wanting to travel to where he is buried this summer to visit him. I think it will help me to accept it and I would love to be able to feel as if I can talk to him.
I think this is a wonderful idea for your daughter and I am sure that she would feel loved. :)
1 person likes this
@fluffleshark (810)
• Ireland
27 Jan 07
Oh I am so, so sad, and so sorry to read this...
I am so sorry for your terrible loss!
Yes I think a headstone is a wonderful idea! I am sure that this will mean an immense amount to your daughter, wherever she is now, and to your son as a link to his sister. And for you of course I think it would be really good to have a place to talk to her and grieve for her.
