Taking ones Kindness for Weakness...

@mzbubblie (3840)
United States
January 24, 2007 11:38am CST
I really don't get it how some people can really sit back and think because you doing them a favor, being nice, they use it to their advantage... One thing I can say about myself is I will do what I can for the next person, however, But if it shows clear as day after time, they only want to be around you, want to hangout or talk to you is when they need something from or need something of you. If you need help, no matter what it is, need assistance, or a simple favor..I'm more than happy to help out... One thing some people who likes to use other people, they fail to realize is when you think the other don't have a clue what you're up to, or got in mind, Nine times outta ten, the person already done figured them out and know it's just to get what they want, I know sometimes it takes a couple times to figure it out and I do... For me, If I see someone is using me, or trying to get over, I don't even try to help or suggest anything else. My motto is "The bridge has been burned". Or someone who only comes around or show-up when they need something. I had what I thought was a friend last year that was like that...I dropped her like a hot potatoe...She only came around when she wanted to go out and didn't want to have to pay, because I got in free and whoever was with me got in free also... I have a friend who would always ask me for a couple dollars, here and there, I would give it to him, he says, I'm going to pay you back Monday and never do. I let this happen a few times before I told him exactly how I felt. Now, he still cool with me but, I won't let him borrow money anymore...and he knows don't ever come ask me again.... My question to you is how you handle situations where people try to be all nice to you or try to be your friend when in reality they just want to use you for what you got or what you can do for them...Do you ignore it, lie and make up reasons why you can't help, or just be real about it and tell them exactly how you feel...
2 responses
@estarga (1188)
• United States
24 Jan 07
I know how you feel, I am very kind-hearted and giving and people "think" they are taking advantage of me all the time. But I am not stupid not blind. When it comes to money I use something my Dad always told me "Never loan somebody more than you can afford to give". So if I "loan" anyone anything I do not expect to get it back and if I do then great. People can be used in other ways as well and that happens often to me too. I just use my own discretion. For example I had a friend who thought she had to lie to me about where she was going before watching her kids. She would always say that she had to do something important like go look for a job, or interview or whatever, when I damm well knew she was just trying to hook up with some guys. I knew that she was a sorry a$! Mother living off of the government. I would watch them because my kids enjoyed playing with hers and if I didn't she would leave them in the house. So basically, I pick in choose the situations where I let myself be "used" by this person. Have a great day!
2 people like this
@mzbubblie (3840)
• United States
24 Jan 07
I feel ya on that...I'm the same way and I like your dad saying too...The guy who always ask me for money haven't asked me for any in the past couple of months...lol...I had to put my foot down.. thank you for responding
1 person likes this
@shywolf (4520)
• United States
24 Jan 07
I'm glad that you don't let people walk all over you like that! ^_^ It's not healthy to have relationships where the other person is just essentially using you for whatever you will give them. I really try to avoid people like that. I hope that i don't run into much of it as I get older, because I've always been the type who loves to do anything for her friends possible. Somehow I've been lucky enough (as far as I've been able to tell) not to gather the types of people around me who just want to use me for whatever I will do for them. of course, when it comes to money I'm not really like that, though. My mother taught me to be frugal, so the things that i do for friends usually don't involve spending a lot of money, which might keep those really greedy types away. I dunno. I doubt that I would be able to tell anyone what I feel, though. I'm too shy and sensitive to do that, although when I get mad I really get mad *laugh*
@mzbubblie (3840)
• United States
24 Jan 07
I hear that, I will snap in a minute if I felt that I was being taken advantage of whether it be money, or favors or anything to that sort....I understand being shy though...