should I tell my wife about my work?

@jimotman (634)
Indonesia
January 25, 2007 10:00am CST
I go out of home in the morning and come back home in the afternoon, sometimes at night. All of the time I'm not home, I work. At home, I never want to talk about my work. I want to forget about work, I want to relax when I'm at home. So I tell my wife never to ask me anything about work. But today a friend of mine said that as husband and wife, you should tell anything about anything! Including work, yes! So what do you think? Should I start telling my wife about my work? About what happened everyday at work? But I really don't feel like to do it. Will it have any bad effect on my marriage? Please give me some advice.
2 people like this
19 responses
@arvee17 (730)
• Philippines
25 Jan 07
If you don't want to talk about your work, what are you going to talk about? I mean your job is part of your life and if you don't talk things like that to your wife, you are putting a wall between you and your wife. It is like you are making your world a little smaller. You want to spend your whole life with her right? So you have to open up even a bit... My husband who also works, sometimes don't like to talk about work stuff. He feels bored at the subject of discussing what he did the whole day... but he tries to give me little information about his day. Just to make the communication open. I also have a job and I always try to tell him about my day... That way he knows how I feel and it makes us more close... Your wife also had a day of her own. Different from yours... So when you try to talk about the things that happened to you both, it makes the relationship more relax and more open...
@jimotman (634)
• Indonesia
25 Jan 07
thanks arvee17, my wife is a full time mother :D, because our child is still a baby, and we don't hire any babysitter, so she stays at home all day. But I like to hear about what she does everyday. I like to talk about her, but not about me. When I'm home I just want to forget about work. And we're very open in our communication, about anything, just not about my work. But I think you're right, maybe if we talk about my work, it can make us much closer. I think I should try to do it. But what if my wife ask me "Hey, why the sudden you want to talk about your work? You told me before that you don't want to talk about it" What should I tell her? thanks
2 people like this
@lisa101 (1363)
• United States
25 Jan 07
I dont like to talk about work either. If your not doing anything wrong then dont let anybody treat you like you are. Maybe you could just say work was fine or i had a good day or the opposite which ever applies.
2 people like this
@jimotman (634)
• Indonesia
25 Jan 07
yes I didn't think of that, maybe I should just tell her that everything is fine so she won't be worried. thanks!
2 people like this
@teknos (14)
• Philippines
26 Jan 07
its very important for the wife to know your work, she is the most important perosn in the world aside from your parents that why you should be honest all about what you do,, so she will not nag you when you come late...
1 person likes this
@yanjiaren (9050)
26 Jan 07
a problem shared is a problem halved my friend..make your wife into your best friend...not just a wife..when you chat with her..take the things that you bottle up off your chest..you will be surprised at how much her love and support will make you stronger and happier..but don't let your evening be ruined cos of a bad day at work..talk with her..get it off your chest..then enjoy everything you do together..a YOUR BOSS DOES NOT OWN YOU AFTER HOURS...YOU WORK..PROVIDE THEM A SERVICE YOU GET PAID..after that it's your time... hope this helps..
@rhie0216 (289)
• Philippines
26 Jan 07
i think you must tell your wife about your work no matter what it is. you wouldn't want to lose the trust that your wife have given you. and for sure when you get married you promise to one another that you would always be honest to each other no matter what the things that you must confess or tell.
@cheenlly (3485)
• Philippines
26 Jan 07
as husband and wife , yes its part of the relationship. YOu have to share yourself and be open with your wife. it doesnt mean you talk as in you talk all of it but just part of the day that happens or whenever you like to talk about it but it doesnt mean also that you tell it everyday. I think its one way of releasing and relaxing your mind because you have someone that will listen to you.
1 person likes this
@angnima (772)
• Nepal
26 Jan 07
Of course ,yes. Tell her about the work. Not about the relations outside.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
25 Jan 07
it's not really talk talk about work perse. just some news on work or if you had a good or bad day at work. open communication is the key to a happy married life. i'm sure your wife will love to hear that your opening up a part of you to her. promise! i've been there. When i had no work before, and i just wait for my hubby to come home. i'm so excited whenever he tells me stories about his day. like what we ate during his lunch or his officemate resigned.. and so on... Good Luck to you bro! :)
1 person likes this
@doniker (493)
• United States
25 Jan 07
my wife and I both work all day. at home my wife hates to listen to me talk about my job and she hates to talk about her job. We rarely talk about our jobs; it's rather boring to the other person anyway.
1 person likes this
@amishagg (186)
• India
26 Jan 07
You should definitely go ahead with it or your worst fears of a broken relationship might just come true.
@jimotman (634)
• Indonesia
26 Jan 07
our relationship is very good although I never talk about my work :D Anyway, I really considering starting talking about it. Thanks!
@34momma (13918)
• United States
26 Jan 07
I wonder what it is you do. i mean if you have a job that can be a bit graphic and gross then i would not want to even hear about it. but when she wants to know about your day at work i don't know if she is looking so much for details about what you are doing, but more of something to talk about. wanting to get close to you that way. i say talk to her about it just the how it was ok, so and so got a raise that kind of thing
@yamiboo (466)
• Philippines
26 Jan 07
I think that you should tell your wife not only about your work, but also how your day went. That's what every wife looks forward to when their husbands get home, that's why they start asking "how was your day", "anything interesting happened to you today?", just like you asking her how her day was. Since you were out the whole day for work, I think that it will good for your marriage to share what happened to you that day. You don't have to say or tell every single hourly thing you did, just let her know that your day was ok and you were busy at work, or anything that interest you that day. A key to a successful marriage is communication. Communicating about your feelings, whether it be at work, home, family, etc. and sharing thoughts with your loved one. If you don't communicate with your wife, say about work, then what are you guys going to end up talking about? It's then going to be a one way communication, her telling you what happened to her day, while you're not sharing what happened to your day. I know that you want to relax when you get home, but a sentence or two about what happened during your day won't probably hurt, in fact, if you let her know that you're tired, and this happened to you, blah blah blah, then she can make you feel more relaxed by comforting you, empathizing with you, etc. It's important for you to let your wife know about your feelings, etc, so that she will learn to better understand you.
@shilpaum (1753)
• India
26 Jan 07
Hey...telling about office work wife doesn't mean that u should tell every thing, experience in detail. U may share some nice experiences, feelings with her. Communiction is the heart of relationships and feelings are at the heart of effective communication.
@fady83 (617)
• Egypt
26 Jan 07
i think you have to tell your wife about everything because if you like that she did not like to tell you about her life so you can do not tell her anything
• Singapore
26 Jan 07
i wanna say that dont do anything that you are not comfortable in doing....but then, most of your time are spend working...so if you dont talk about work...what is the things that both of you talk about? what she did whole day? :D maybe you can just tell her about some nice or wacky colleagues....so that next time, you have someone to vent it out with
@shivka (110)
• India
26 Jan 07
i really feel that since half your day is spent at work you should talk about it atleast a bit to your wife..she's your wife afterall and she would want to know how you doing at work..right?? think about it..try reversing things..like let her be out the whole day and you stay at home..then you would like to know what your wife was doing the whole day...how her day went..!!it's about sharing that part of your life with your wife that you spend without her!!
@muse02 (213)
• United States
26 Jan 07
My husband talks to me about work. He says that it helps him with the stress from work. If I were you I would talk to her about your job. It may actually help your marriage. She may think that you are trying to keep things from her if you never want to talk to her. That is just my opinion though. I know that if my husband never want to talk to me about work, I would think that he was hiding things from me.
@yy4cmm (23)
• United States
26 Jan 07
im not married yet, but i understand certain things, ur wife deep inside her mind, wants to know what u where doing, u are the one who bring money to the house with ur work, its ur responsability, but maybe u dont have a good work, or there is something about the work u do, that u dont want to tell ur wife, cuz for example, u work in a office, in front of a computer all the day, whats the problem saying to ur wife, that u have backache cuz u was doing something that required alot of work, or something like that, but i understand taht u think ur work is ur business, thats how u bring the money and thats what cares, well, i tell u that is good even if ure tired of work, tell ur wife how was ur day, u dont have nothing to lose and everything to win, if ure tired or something, ur wife would understand u and help u in something, or help u to relax, thats my opinion about that.
@Imhappy (68)
• India
26 Jan 07
Ofcourse you should tell your wife everything about your work.. after all you both are life parteners and need to share everything in your life... do discuss it with her dude.... definitely..... :) :)
@leonilyn (467)
• Philippines
25 Jan 07
my hubby and i used to talk about work at home.. forme it makes me feel relieved when i told my husband about what is happening to me the whole day. and so as he.. he told me what happens with him in his work.. it may be funny or sad.. this is a part of our nightly conversation before sleeping.