teen parenting

United States
January 25, 2007 2:31pm CST
I am 17 and have a 6 week old baby boy named DaMarius. I got pregnant with him when I was 16. My goal was to get my high school diploma but once I got pregnant I was sleepy and then came the morning sickness I couln't even go 5 minutes without throwing up and it lasted all dayfor almost 2 months. When that happened I stopped going to school, I messed up my attendance and failed the 10th grade. The school called ne and told me that it was against the law to drop out of school at 16 and that I had to be 17 to get my GED. So I went back to school when the new school year started as a sophmore all over again. I decided when I was 17 I was going to get my GED; It was too hard for me to raise my son and be in school all day. He is everything to me, amd I am one of the lucky ones who are still with the father of my child. Its hard being a teen mom because most people frown on that, but I say forget those who judge because I am as good of a mother as anyone else in this world. Also people say that teen parents will never amount to anythng and thats some more bull shyt we can it just takes a whole lot more to do it, and we put a whole lot of effort into it and that builds self confidence. Why do people frown on teen parents??? What is the deal??
18 people like this
72 responses
@XxAngelxX (2832)
• Canada
25 Jan 07
Mostly people frown on teen parents because how can a child raise a child? It's very tough being a mom but even tougher if you are still a teenager. As parents we want our children to have the best things in life, and this means being able to enjoy their childhoods without having to be responsible for another living being. You have a great attitude though, you are one of the few who still wants to succeed in life and make something of your life so you will be able to give something to your son when he is older. Congratulations on your new little baby and good luck in getting your GED.
3 people like this
• United States
25 Jan 07
Thank you. Yeah when my son gets older I don't want him to go through what I've been through and what I am going through, I want the best for him in life and for him to be successful.
2 people like this
• United States
25 Jan 07
I was in my senior year when I became pregant with Destiny. People think that we are to young and are not about to care for the child when we have yet to grow up ourselves. It is hard to work and go to school and take care of a baby. People only hear the bad stories about teen parents but never hear the good and if they do they don't remeber it.
2 people like this
• United States
26 Jan 07
I do agree that it seems that so many people only hear the bad stories and not the good. I don't encourage teen pregnancy because teens should really grow up a little more before they decide to have children and get and finish school and some job skills first plus the fact they are missing out on alot of things such as going out with friends, dates and parties. That part may not seem like a big deal, but later on I have heard of the teen moms going through stages of partying like crazy because they want to get it out of their system since they were not able to earlier. Teen pregnancy does happen and I have seen some teen moms that have been better than adult moms
• United States
26 Jan 07
Yeah its messed up how society works. Maybe one day it will change.
@Geminigirl (1909)
• United States
25 Jan 07
Well you have your son, so just do the best you can. You are old enough now so make sure you get that GED so you can get a decent job later on. That is great that you are still with his father. It sounds like you are on the right track.
2 people like this
• India
26 Jan 07
i think you are not old enough to have a child.but any way past is past,now you think about ur future.i have seen so many who completed their education eventhough they had child.so,think positive,be positive.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Jan 07
Thanks. I am doing my best to be the best I can be and stay on the right track.
@shoelover (896)
• Australia
25 Jan 07
Congratulations on your little baby boy. It is so hard being a teen parent because all your friends are going to parties ect and you can't because you have the baby to look after. I think people frown on teen parents because they know they are missing out on the fun of the teenage years and have had to grow up too quickly. I myself was 19 when I had my first child. There is an advantage and that is you are able to run around and play with both your own children and your grandchildren when they come. As far as getting your GED I was wondering can you get this by correspondence course. You can do it in your own time and the advantage is you don't have to leave your child in childcare ect. You sound like a young woman with a good head on her shoulders. Enjoy your baby and the times you spend with him. They grow up too quickly now days :)
• United States
25 Jan 07
Thanks. I only go from 6:30-9:30 at night on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Its easy because my mom watches him until I get home not to mention when I took my ged placement test they told me I was ready for my ged test already but since I am 17 I have to be in the classes until my ged scores get back.
2 people like this
• United States
26 Jan 07
I think that depend on there caliver to become parents
@stephcjh (32327)
• United States
25 Jan 07
Im glad to see you here at mylot. I hate to hear you got pregnant at a young age and had to miss school. I bet it sure was hard trying to raise a baby and go to school anyways. Im glad to hear the father is still there with you. you are a very lucky girl. I dont really frown on a teen parent but it is hard to explain. We just want the best for our children including you. We know what kinds of things you have to give up and go through when you have a child at a young age is all, pretty much. You may be an acception but most teens are not very responsible for themselves to raise a baby at a young age is all most people are thinking, I guess. We dont really look at you as a bad person, at least I dont. People have different views and outlooks on things but they way I see it, families have to pull together and just accept the fact, although it isnt an easy thing to do. I have a 14 year old and if she should become pregnant, I would worry myself sick because she isnt very responsible for herself yet is what I am trying to say.
• United States
26 Jan 07
Thank you. I see where you are comming from, I hope your daughter wont have to grow up fast and take on a major resposibility. Just know that if it does happen its not your fault because my mom tried everything in her will for it not to happen to me but us teenagers have our ways.
• United States
25 Jan 07
Congrats on your baby. It sounds like it must be very hard! Out here in AZ there are a few high schools that even offer daycare on grounds because there are so many teen parents. If you could maybe find a high school like that, you could finish. Can you get any state funded child care temporarily so that he can go in a nice safe day care? You really need to get the GED and it sounds like you want it, or even better go back into high school and finish up your credits. Perhaps you and the father of the baby can take turns watching the baby so that you can go back to school. You sound like a caring mom teen or not.
2 people like this
• United States
26 Jan 07
Thanks. I go to school 3 hours in the evening twice a week for my GED its easy that way. While I'm there my mom watches him.
• United States
25 Jan 07
most people frown on teen parents because they say that they cant raise a baby the right way but i think that teen parenting is fine as long as you have someone to help you and you are not like 15 14 or 13 but i think sixteen is ok but maybe a tiny bit too young but not that bad
2 people like this
• United States
26 Jan 07
thanks. As long as they put their kid first and know that its not about them anymore.
• United States
25 Jan 07
Just remember that your son comes first and that means taking care of yourself first. Go to school, go to college, then find a good job. Don't give up and make excuses, just do it. You can't raise your child on miniume wage. And don't rush into marriage. Focus on school and everything will fall into place. Good luck and congratulations!
2 people like this
• United States
26 Jan 07
Thanks.
@Mamaof2 (574)
• Canada
25 Jan 07
Teen parents are frowned upon because of the reputation that is set by alot of teen mother. The good ones never get the credit or even the chance to prove that they will be good parents. I to was a teen mother. I had my daughter when I was 18 years old. She is now almost 9 years old. It is very hard trying to raise a child and manage life. I went and finished highschool, went to college ect. As long as you believe in yourself and know what you want to accomplish in life...and do it..you will be just fine. Dont ever let anyone tell you different. You have to have a plan..and if that plan consists of providing the best possible life for your child..as well as yourself... All these negative compliments and frowns....turn it around and see the good in it. In the end, u will prove to everyone that ever looked down on you that it is possible and that you will do it!!!!
• United States
26 Jan 07
Thats what I plan to do.
@uath13 (8207)
• United States
25 Jan 07
I think they frown on it because most teen parents aren't as responsable as you seem to be. If there were more like you perhaps that outlook would change but statistically thats not likely to happen. Congradulations on having a child and the proper sense of responsability and self confidence to make a good life for your family. I'd respect that far more than the lost education any day.
2 people like this
• United States
25 Jan 07
Thanks. Yeah some teens just wanna go out and have fun while leaving their kid with their parents or whoever and thats really immature. I can't even really stand being away from my son while I'm at school for 3 hours.
2 people like this
• Canada
26 Jan 07
People frown on teen parenting for the reasons that you just mentioned. I'm assuming that you're not married, you don't have a home of your own, that you don't have a job, and that you're relying on your parents for child care during the day.. Raising a child takes a lot of things. It takes a stong foundation of financials, discipline, and education. It takes a great family and courage. I'm not saying that a teen parent will never amount to anything, but what college are you going to go to with a GED? Why would you want to put that much pressure and burden upon yourself? Wouldn't it be nicer to have finished school, gone to college, gotten a job, a house and a husband before that baby came along? Babies cause enough stress and worry without having to compound it with the worry and stress about what you're going to do with your life. I'm a nurse and counsellor for a teen mother group in the city where I live, and I'm sad to say that of 9 out of 10 of the children with babies that I've seen come into my clinic over the past 10 years are on welfare, and don't have a job. Because it's hard. There are those that persevere and overcome the obstacles that they've laid before themselves by having a baby too young, and I certaily hope that you will be one of them. But statistics do show that the odds are against you.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Jan 07
Well for one I am here with my son all day I go to GED classes for 3 hours on Tuesdays and Thursdays at night. Second of all whats done is done at least I own up to my responsibilities in stead of pawning him of on someone else. I never wanted to go to college anyways until I am alot older I have always wanted to be a cosmetologist.- If I ever got tired of that I would go to college and be a pediatrician. As for the statistics forget it I'm one of those who are going to prove those stupid statistics wrong.
• United States
26 Jan 07
I just wonder you say you counsel for a teen mother group how can you counsel and encourage someone you judge and seemingly have very little faith in?? Would It had been better if she were married just because the baby was comming just to be divorced a few years down the road?? Thus causing stress on the child? And Statisics show alot of thing but thats what they are just numbers. NOt all teen mothers live on welfare or if they do not all of them stay on welfare. What of the older adults on welfare that have kid after kid do you judge them too or is the judgement just reserved for the young girls that had an error in judgement on protecting themselves but choosing to give life to their kids and own up to their resposibilities to the best of their ability.
• United States
26 Jan 07
alot of people frown on teenage parents which i never understood why their is nothing wrong with them.teen parents can amount to alot of things just as long as they are willing to work on it.i was also a teen parent and i hated peoples comments but i proved them wrong.
1 person likes this
@ronita34 (3923)
• Canada
26 Jan 07
That is good and i for one am very proud of you !!! People i guess just forget the fact that we all mature faster than others and when it happens it happens and being a mother comes with having a child no matter how wold you are!!
• United States
26 Jan 07
Exactly I don't get why people think so low, I am working on proveing them wrong too.
@hariharbhat (1314)
• India
26 Jan 07
See it is great that you have kept up with your desires and rearing your child in a responsible way.But somehow it is not the right age to deliver a baby.But any how you are now in the next stage,hence we shall not discuss the matter in that direction. Now you have responisbilities of bringing up the child as well to complete your eduction. It is heartening to note that your partner who has helped you to submit to your desires and deliver the child is with you. Both of you face the life boldly, but put a proper plan to it. Let God bless you all.
• United States
26 Jan 07
thankyou I will.
@babyreyn (934)
• Philippines
26 Jan 07
I am glad atleast at your very young age you stand and have your baby born. I am proud of you. I wish you all the best in raising your child. Make your child your priority and inspiration in pursuing your studies. Just make it a lesson to you.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Jan 07
thanks alot.
@ash_w82 (51)
• India
26 Jan 07
hey ur story seems to be very motivating...im 24 and 5 months pregnant with my 1st child and still feel that its too early...i got married a year back n wanted to wait 1 more year befor i got pregnant...but things just happen u know...my husband loves me a lot n is ver excited about the kid...but i sometimes feel it has stopped my career for a while....but im trying to be positive about it...n young people like u can be really motivating...cheers gal...i hope that u are able to achieve whatever u want!!!
• United States
26 Jan 07
Thank you and congrats on the baby. I hope he/she is healthy and when they come you will feel totally different, not to forget you'll start feeling that when you feel their every move in your belly. But the reality sinks in when you hear their first cry and you hold them for the first time. If you have any questions about your pregnancy feel free to ask I am hear for you. Good luck!
@cheenlly (3483)
• Philippines
26 Jan 07
its glad to know that even if you become a mother very young, you manage to be responsible to face what your situation compared to others that have no courage instead think or doing an abortion. well i guess your lucky because you still continue your studies. Thats very hard but its a responsibility and thats the only thing that you can be proud of if you finish your studies inspite of the hardship.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Jan 07
yup yup.
@innechen (1321)
• Indonesia
26 Jan 07
its not easy for a teenage to be a parents, but however what has happened is happened and you still have to face it.you do have to finished ur school eventhough its not easy while u r parenting, but ur education also important to support ur child future life.so i'm sure u can do it.ask ur mom or other family to help u with ur child while ur study or doing homework.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Jan 07
I am getting my GED and while I'm at school my mom watches him for me.
@teenal (970)
• Ireland
25 Jan 07
As someone who was a teen parent at barley 15 I know what you mean about the people frowning on you. Having said that, I know 26 years later that they were right in thinking I mightn't do too well raring my son. I was young and immature and although I did my best I didnt have the sense to guide him and help him through his life as well as I did for my daughter born 10 years later.
• United States
26 Jan 07
I see what your saying.
@Stephanie5 (2947)
• United States
25 Jan 07
They frown upon you because they probably know how hard it is....and feel sorry for you. I also got pregnant at 16 and had my oldest son, Joshua, 6 days after my 17th birthday. I felt the same way you do. Please take my advice when I say..Hurry up and go get your GED and start taking some college courses NOW! That is the best thing you can do for your son! And remember, lead by example...You wouldn't want your little boy dropping out of school, now would you? So, get your happy butt back in school, whether it's high school or college! PLEASE! Don't worry about what other people think of you. As long as you know that you are doing the best you can, that's all that matters! Congrats on your baby boy! Good Luck!
• United States
26 Jan 07
Thanks. Yeah I am almost done with GED school. Its cool because I had my son 6 days after my 17th birthday too!
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Jan 07
Oh my gosh, really? That's weird, huh? Awesome! Lol!
@charlie69 (334)
25 Jan 07
I agree that it is wrong for people to say that teen parents never amount to anything. My aunt had my cousin Dale when she was just 16. She raised him and his sister and then went back to college went he was 18 and Sophie was 16 and is now more successful than some of the people she originally went to school with so it just goes to show. People think its best to have a career then kids but kids can come first and you can still have a successful career.
• United States
26 Jan 07
Thank you.
• United States
26 Jan 07
thank you