Should i go ahead and marry her?

January 25, 2007 8:00pm CST
I've been going out with a girl for a couple of years now, right from when we both graduated from the university. I love her very much but we recently just found out we both have the sickle cell genotype. That means i'm an "AS" and she's also an "AS", the "S" being the sickle cell gene. What this boils down to is that there's a probability that any child we have, might have full blown sickle cell. We dont want to bring a child into this world to suffer but we also dont want to leave each other. We're at cross roads and are really confused, should i still go ahead to marry her hoping none of our children comes down with sickle cell?
1 person likes this
7 responses
• United States
26 Jan 07
I would just go with what my heart says. And it sounds like you really love her so i would say go ahead and marry her.
1 person likes this
28 Jan 07
Thanks, i definitely will since lightning rarely strikes in the same place twice.
@Miriel (1043)
• Norway
26 Jan 07
If you do love her, go ahead and marry her. There are other ways of having a child. Like adoption. And I am very sure you will love that child as much. Do not let this thing ruin your relationship. True love is hard to find, and if you find it keep it.
28 Jan 07
I do love her and dont want to leave her, thanks for your advice.
1 person likes this
@ugachaka (297)
• United States
26 Jan 07
I agree with Miriel. Your case is a perfect scenario for adoption. You'll both be loving parents, but you're worried that your own children might have genetic problems. I'll admit, I'd want my kids to take after to me, but you can still help shape a child's life and do a really great thing in the process. Not being able to have your own children is absolutely no reason not to marry someone. You'll be kicking yourself and wondering "what if" the rest of your life. It's hard enough to find someone who you can see yourself marrying in a lifetime, don't throw that away because of this.
28 Jan 07
Yeah you're right there. I honestly cant bear to keep asking myself for the rest of my life "what if". The important thing is that we love each other and will equally love our kids depending on what route we take. Thanks man.
@opinder (423)
• India
30 Jan 07
quite true. i couldn't have agreed more.
@yrbuddy (51)
• Singapore
26 Jan 07
Marry her and discuss how both of you are prepared to live together without children, if that is the choice. Discuss all the possibilities and agreed on a path. Whether to adopt or be childless? Or to face whatever comes if you decide to have your own children? This will give the security that both of you are thinking in the same direction. It will also give the support needed if anything unexpected happens. Stay together as one. Be strong. All the best to you and your partner.
28 Jan 07
I'll do that but i cant bear not having kids, i love them. I think because we cant bear not being together, this is how i figure we should decide. Thanks loads for your input.
@vega83 (6346)
• Bahrain
30 Jan 07
i think u guys should get married but find alternative ways of having kids. if u have something so beautiful, and it's not worth losing, u can also adopt in future and give someone a home, that way u'll also be doing a good thing and having the love of your life.
@jojinhere (187)
• India
28 Jan 07
u do ur wish .. but look for teh future!!
• United States
26 Jan 07
If you love her, marry her.