There Are No Safe Places On The Internet

United States
January 26, 2007 3:05pm CST
It's sad, but true. No matter who you are or what you've been through, there are no safe places online. There are no places you can go where there will be none who will insult you, deride you, make light of tragedy or tell you how you live your life or how you were born is wrong. Even closed message boards get infiltrated by people who want to spread hate. And I think that public forums, like this one, are the least safe of all. If you post something - whether it be a story of personal tragedy, something relating to religion, race, nationality or sexuality, - someone will be there to tell you you're wrong, tell you to get over it, tell you to believe differently, tell you that your opinions don't matter. There are always people without respect. And this isn't something new, people didn't recently start becoming jerks. We just see it more now because of how connected we are on the internet. But connections are both good and bad, and for every ten friends you make and share something with, there will be that person that just has to lash out at you. It's a dog eat dog world out here.
15 people like this
54 responses
• United States
27 Jan 07
I agree with you. It's very sad that people can't just respect other people's thoughts and opinions. Everyone will never agree...that's great...it would suck if we all agreed and were all the same. BUT...there is something to say about respect. I have read things on here and other sites that I find different from my own beliefs, but I will NEVER tell someone they are a bad person or wrong for thinking that way. I respect their thoughts and opinions even if they arent' the same as mine. It would be great if everyone did.
4 people like this
@nw1911guy (1135)
• United States
27 Jan 07
You're absolutely right miss. Not only that, many people constantly tell themselves negative things about themself besides. Thusly just helping others make it easier.
4 people like this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
27 Jan 07
Another thought: I know a lot of people who regard the internet as rather a lifeline. Either they just don't feel able to be social offline, or there's actually something holding them back, but the result is the same. So, for people in this situation, it's even harder on them when they are attacked online. For some people talking online might just be fun, a way to pass the time, or maybe even just a chance to be a jerk in ways they wouldn't dare in real life. But some people really feel that their online life is just as valid as their real life, so things said online can be very harmful. I'm not sure if people just don't think about this sort of thing, or if they don't care. I'd rather assume it's the first.
3 people like this
• United States
27 Jan 07
Well, it's true. I wouldn't say the internet is my *only* lifeline to the outside world, but it's the biggest. I live on a ranch in the middle of the desert and I can't drive. I don't really get out. So I keep all my contact through the internet.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Jan 07
Oh don't worry, I was more musing aloud to the masses off of thoughts you sparked. I do wonder how many people rely purely on the internet for their interactions. I'm in the vast mountainous deserts of Arizona. I haven't seen those. I've got myself a nice little scooter, but its battery isn't enough to get me into town.
1 person likes this
@akumei1269 (1750)
• India
27 Jan 07
You are right . But you have to live here . You have to look at the brighter side . There are people offering good advice and sharing your sorrow and happyness alike . Please go through other s' discussions and responses to them. You are wrong in that you hope everybody to agree at your opinion . Compare the internet environment with the surrounding you encounter every day and night in your real atmoshere . Everything is almost same . You cannot expect internet community to behave differently .
2 people like this
• United States
27 Jan 07
I'm not really expecting everyone to agree with my opinions - I'm usually surprised when people *do* agree with me - but it is pretty safe to say that it's hard to find a truly safe place online. There are always people who will be mean and hurtful and go out of their way to try and hurt someone else. In real life, there are safe places. Private support groups, therapists, family circles, prayer groups... there are laws of confidentiality and rules that are strongly enforced as to conduct and what can and can't be said. We don't have that online.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Jan 07
You are all too right on that. Safe is not a word that can be used on the web. That is why vigilantes are being used now. Ever hear of computer militia?
2 people like this
• United States
27 Jan 07
Well, that's not exactly what I was talking about...
1 person likes this
@emeraldisle (13146)
• United States
27 Jan 07
Sadly on line as in real life so many feelt he need to be jerks or to belittle others in order to make themselves feel better. It happens even if we don't like it. We can run and hide or we can find other people to discuss with. in forums like this it's a bit harder to get away from them but it can always be easier to stand up for what you believe in, at least for me it is. It's also easier for some to belittle others because they don't think of them as real like they would their next door neighbor. We all need to remember that everyone feels, that we can all be hurt, we can all laugh whether on here or in real life. If we remember that and to remember to think before we write or speak it can make a difference.
2 people like this
@irisheyes (4373)
• United States
27 Jan 07
..Sounds just like the Bricks & Mortar world doesn't it? Just can't get away from that human condition!
2 people like this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
27 Jan 07
What can one say to this? It's certainly true. Though if for ten friends you make you only meet one person who lashes out at you, I suppose that's a pretty good ratio overall.
2 people like this
@SplitZip (1490)
• Portugal
27 Jan 07
Don't take this the wrong way, but aren't you that user who keeps posting complaint topics? (LOL) Negativity usually attracts negative things. I know people online can be harsh sometimes, because of its faceless anonymity, but so far, I can't say I've had any bad experiences in myLot.
1 person likes this
@SplitZip (1490)
• Portugal
27 Jan 07
The shark attack thing packed more of a punch...
• United States
27 Jan 07
I'm famous! ;) Yeah, according to some guy on here, all I do is complain. I've had a couple of bad experiences in Mylot. I posted a discussion about being an outed gay person and the ways in which people can be hurtful without realizing it, and asked others to share their experiences. I said that I did not want anyone preaching or insulting anyone in the responses, and asked that people refrain from making cases against homosexuality or telling any of us we were wrong/bad/evil/going against God. And of course, people popped up and had to lash out and respond to me and others in the post and tell us exactly what we 'really' were.
2 people like this
@SplitZip (1490)
• Portugal
27 Jan 07
Don't you mean "infamous"? ;) That's a bit strange, because all the threads I've seen about homosexuality-related topics were pretty civilized. There's even (at least) one ladyboy posting here, didn't see anyone preaching at him or putting him down.
1 person likes this
@korek222 (703)
• Poland
27 Jan 07
Well that is a main advantage and disadvantage of the Internet - that you can freely state your oppinion :) Some people who as you sya - spread hate are well the worse kind of people which should be banned from any possible form of internet communication in which they would be able to insult someone. But unfortunatelly we can't do anything to win with them and make a forum boards haters-free , only thing we can do is to ingore this stupid guys who dont have any good thing to do with their lives :) Amd about MyLot being such a forum - well it is open forum so it is impossible to prevetn such an actions on this board
1 person likes this
• Jamaica
27 Jan 07
There are bad and good everywhere it doesn't really bother me anymore because i see it everyday everywhere. Its just people expressing how you feel dont you think? Remember that God created both good and bad but some people just try to ruin all the good that we have worked so hard to build.
1 person likes this
• Nepal
27 Jan 07
please clearify what is the safe things you want in the internet.....
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Jan 07
Well, I thought I had explained it pretty clearly in my discussion, but: A 'safe place' online is a place where people can open up without fear of being judged or criticized.
1 person likes this
@kritipen (4085)
• United States
27 Jan 07
I agree Internet is not safe compleletely due o the very nature of Internet. It is meant for public, so open to all. Due to this you always will get different opinion than what you have. I guess that's part of life.
1 person likes this
@kevkentis (592)
• Jamaica
27 Jan 07
You are right but i believe that there will always be negatives everywhere whether online or off line its everywhere. No one will always agree with everything you say dont you think is right for them to say maybe you could be wrong. No one has disrespected me or any friend of mine on mylot yet and we dont disrespect anyone we just try to see things from both sides of views. The internet is not as bad as you say.
1 person likes this
@aiguy01 (589)
• United States
27 Jan 07
There has always been the fight between good and evil. Ignorance and prejudice of all kind has been here since the beginning of time. Part of life is learning and developing the strength to stare evil in the eye and pity it. Recognize that those who act through ignorance, fear and delight in the pain of others are themselves living in a self made hell victims of other's evil which created their sadistic impulses. Break the chain of evil by learning compassion and trying to understand evil's true nature. Only then does it lose it's power to hurt you.
1 person likes this
@diannebcrs (1549)
• Philippines
27 Jan 07
I totally understand how you feel. coz for instance you're blogging about something serious, someone then lambasts it with nonsense. and a lot of people here on mylot are posting really serious topics which are responded with equally serious advices which i think is really healthy and is really great. it's about being able to openly discuss how you feel without being judged about it. and debates are healthy. i came across this post about legalization of abortion or something like that and a lot of people responded, some were pro and others were anti and it actually exposed how people view it differently. so i think that mylot is really brilliant and it's so safe to be who you are here coz people respect you and your thoughts. more importantly these thoughts are valued. and you earn something as a bonus too!
• United States
27 Jan 07
I'm sorry you have had such a bad experience online. I hope you find somewhere that is at least 90% safe for you. I have a couple of places where I post online that are safe. They are private boards made up of friends. We did have a group of people try to cause issues but they were banned by the owner and there haven't been any problems at all. It is a woman's board only and we all support and uplift each other. It's really an amazing thing when you find it. I hope you find something like that for yourself! As for the people being mean to you, just ignore it. Let it roll off your back. Just remember when people feel little themselves, they put other people down just so they can feel "bigger and better" themselves. They really aren't and we all know it. You are above that and better than that. Don't forget it! The only person who really should matter in your life is the man in the mirror... YOU. [[hugs]]
1 person likes this
@nanands (122)
• India
27 Jan 07
People often hide their true feelings when you are face to face with them. This may be because of social, leagal, professional or plain selfish reasons. These are masks which people wear. On the internet people cast aside their masks and let both their beliefs and prejudices hang out. This gives us a feeling that the net is populated by vicious people who are out to get you. Given the randomness of the net this cannot be true. I think this unmasking of people is good for all of us. Personally I find this unmasking useful.It prepares me for the face to face interactions with people from all parts of the world. Now I understand much better the siganls which are sent out by their bodies (body language) and can perceive what they must be thinking.
1 person likes this
@valmiki9 (1171)
• India
27 Jan 07
you have to accept that if there is 90% good in this world there ia 10 % bad also In fact the ratio is50/50 and every age it has been like that. so don't get frustrated by the ba one's. It is the law of nature and we have to live with it.
1 person likes this
• Canada
27 Jan 07
I am strong enough to have my own opinions and I am not hurt when other people voice their's. Safe is the last word I would use for anything on the internet.
1 person likes this
@fedge098 (1331)
• Philippines
27 Jan 07
Public places like Forums in the internet are mainly for people to interact and share their thoughts with complete strangers from around the globe. People have their different points of views and of course they have different opinions over different topics posted in a public forum site like MyLot. Your saying that there are people without respect because they say that you're wrong, they tell you to get over it, believe differently, or your opinion doesn't matter. Those are actually opinions you are receiving from them. You share your story, people read it, naturally they will react. As an originator of the article you should be open-minded about the different reactions and opinions people will throw back at you. Whether it is a positive or a negative feedback, accept them and you will understand more about the situation you shared them. If you are not ready for the "unrespectful" comments, then I think you should at least stop for a moment and ask your self - Am I Ready TO Face CounterAttacks?
1 person likes this