License to Rape

@mansha (6298)
India
January 27, 2007 12:24am CST
I recently heard that a girl from a poor community was raped and then forced by her parents to marry the rapist himself and people supported them because their reason was who else will marry her now. I discussed this with elderly people of other communities and strata of life and all of them thought it was a wise decision. They could not comprehend my point of view that this way you ar giving the rapist license to rape the victim every day. I thought it was a veryu unfair and cruel decision. I have not met the girl so I don't know her point of view, but what do you all think, I think its a most inhuman decision.
21 people like this
121 responses
@manong05 (5027)
• Philippines
27 Jan 07
No matter how we look at it, it's truly inhuman, nothing else. Maybe the elders of the community don't see it that way because of the social conventions dictated by the society. It's hard to believe that that thinking still exists today but it does which is very unfortunate.
@nw1911guy (1131)
• United States
27 Jan 07
Could you imagine? So, tell me how you met your bride. Well sir, you see, I saw her one day and thought I'd rape her.
3 people like this
@mansha (6298)
• India
27 Jan 07
thats the nice way to put it,lol
1 person likes this
@sanjayko (339)
• India
27 Jan 07
This is not good ...infact in INdia you can see many such cases...in rural areas... Even some 20 yrs gal will have to marry a 70 year old.......so its common here in India..
2 people like this
@lonewolfnan (4366)
• Canada
27 Jan 07
In different cultures around the world,the belief system is so far away from our own beliefs that we look on and wonder what the people are thinking of. I do not understand how people can condone such actions,but sometimes the logic in their decision is based on thousands of years of beliefs.That does not mean I agree with them though,just that it is a different system then we are brought up with.
@mansha (6298)
• India
27 Jan 07
Yes I agree, I feel may be because she is from a poor family and to hide such thing is impossible and to get justice for her would be next to impossible.
3 people like this
@babykay (2131)
• Ireland
27 Jan 07
well if people are going to have your attitudes, then justice will of course be impossible to get for this girl as well as for all other rape victims. Personally, I cannot imagine anything worse - bad enough that a society shuns a rape victim, blames her and vindicates the rapists. But that it then makes her go ahead and spend the rest of her life with the man who must terrify her??? It beggars belief. That society must be a very backward one. I think that all civilized people must stand up and protest to the Embassy that this sort of behavior is unacceptable. Shame on Western apologists for this sort of thing also. It is the same as saying that any practice, just because it is ancient must be condoned simply because it has been used for many years.
2 people like this
• India
27 Jan 07
ya it happens n it herts too but cant do ant it anything i think every rapist sud be killed
3 people like this
@mansha (6298)
• India
27 Jan 07
I know what you want to say but society does not work that way.
2 people like this
28 Jan 07
that is pure sick, her family should be ashamed
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
27 Jan 07
When the thing happen, it can't be help. Actually it's hard for us to give opinion about this since my community here exactly will do the same thing, consider as a punishment and to force that rapist take the responsibility. That is why, here it is hard to decide the right punishment for them. By law it just go to jail, and surely while free time in the jail, he will think for another victim...From the victim view i do think that it is unfair and surely unfair for them being raped too. For girls out there, always keep in mind, there is no safe enough place to nothing need to worry about even your own room. Well outside is another story..
3 people like this
@mansha (6298)
• India
27 Jan 07
Thats what I am asking by marrying the girl to the rapiost, are you not allowing him to rape your daughter again and again year after year for whole life. just see it fro the point of view of the girl.
2 people like this
@mansha (6298)
• India
27 Jan 07
where are you from? what si the justification, if its supporting the victim financially then I think it can be done without marriage too, why marriage? I am speaking about this delhi girl from a really poor family. so I can not really blame your community.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
27 Jan 07
Don't get wrong with my line, i didn't mean that. I just saying we have to avoid by any mean neccessary for getting involved in rape scene. Because, when it happened, it is hard to decide a thing. My opinion is based on what my community here implement this thing..
3 people like this
• Philippines
27 Jan 07
It's absolutely absurd! How can they force the girl to marry a criminal? They should have brought the rapist to court and hope for him to be sentenced for the crime he had done. It is just plain stupid to let the victim marry her rapist. What kind of life will she have with a criminal husband? Besides, it doesn't justify the crime being done.
@mansha (6298)
• India
27 Jan 07
Yes I and you can understyand this but not the uneducated, poor people.
2 people like this
• Malaysia
27 Jan 07
I truly agree with you mansha. This is really the most inhuman decision. From the poor community point of view, this is perhaps a good punishment for the rapist, but this is only their point of view, you won't know what the rapist will think about it. Since the rapist are forced to marry the girl he raped, i don't think the rapist will give the girl a thoughtful marriage and who can guarantee that the rapist will not go after another victim after he married. If he really go for another victim, is it he has to marry that victim again, and who knows how many times he'll repeat his cruel intention and only need to marry that girl to escape the punishment.. my thought is the authorities should really think of a effective way to punish those rapist, by putting them to jail is just too kind to them..
@mansha (6298)
• India
27 Jan 07
Indian law is so lame at handeling such situations and its really hopeless to thinkthat authorities will ever do anything may be they will be happy that no one reported iot so its one case less on their hands to deal with. AS for the rapist, I really feel horrible at the thought of him touching that girl again.
2 people like this
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
27 Jan 07
well, i totally agree with you that it is the most inhuman decision... the girl is already suffer enough by being raped and it won't be easy for her to forget or erase that memory... now she is forced to marry the rapist as well and spend the rest of her life with him... i can't imagine that... it is a gain for the rapist but loss for the girl... why don't they send the rapist into jail??? and it is not true that nobody will want to marry her because she had been raped before... somebody will if he does really love her...
2 people like this
@mansha (6298)
• India
27 Jan 07
I dont know if they have that mnuch IQ to comprehend and usually these kind of families have other daughters to marry off too so they don't mind hushing up the issue and think of their other kids.
@ronita34 (3922)
• Canada
27 Jan 07
I agree and i feel so so sorry for the girl she must be terrified!!!
1 person likes this
@amitavroy (4819)
• India
27 Jan 07
I know there are lots of places specially in villages where these type of things happen and I think the government should take some seediest steps to stop these times. I don't know why people do such things and also the government is so irresponsible there are so many decisions taken by the government which has no meaning sometimes they ban certain things and then also they take taxis from them. When, if you think that drinking is bad and why tool you take taxis from it you should have banned the thing at the very moment this is the dual nature of the government and there is no one to question them
3 people like this
@mansha (6298)
• India
27 Jan 07
Yeah major issue I thionk for girl family is loosing their face and thewn indulging in a costly and long endless court battle which obviously they can not afford.
2 people like this
@femcsw2 (225)
• United States
27 Jan 07
I think not only should the rapist go to prison, but the parents also
2 people like this
• United States
29 Jan 07
Seeing that you are from India my question is this: Is that the way your government....well, your society I should say works in the country? As Americans our responses may be different than those of the Indian Culture. In my point of view it's disgusting and rather his be married to his victim he should be castrized. Alright, maybe not that bizzare, but he should definitely receive some type of penalty for his crime. In the State (well in Michigan at least) a man who rapes a child can receive several years in prison depending on which offense it is and how old the child/minor was.
2 people like this
@magnet (2087)
• United States
1 Feb 07
I use to work with someone who had this happen to her. She is in her 50's and Native American. When she was a teen she was raped and became pregnant. Her parents and His parents made them marry each other. She did not want to marry him but she did. She was in a abusive relationship for years,he cheated on her as verbally abusive to her. He abused her even when she was pregnant. Years later she finally got a divorce. I hate that this happened to her. I asked her why did she marry him,she said that her parents were ashamed of her getting pregnant. She said they was doing what they thought was right. She started to get very upset and she started crying at work,so I changed the subject, I did not tell her was I was really thinking,sometimes it's best to keep your honest opinion to yourself. I just told her that I'm glad she is not with him anymore.
1 person likes this
@mansha (6298)
• India
7 Feb 07
this was really horrible, someone actually lived through it. My heart goes out to your friend
• United States
27 Jan 07
I think that's awful that they not only in essence blame the girl but are punishing her too. It's very sad, and very inhumane. That falls under the lines of cruel and unusual.
3 people like this
@mansha (6298)
• India
27 Jan 07
Thats exqactly Itried to pint out to them that you are not punishing the rapist but actually rewarding him and punishing the victim.
2 people like this
@ilunice (947)
• Netherlands
27 Jan 07
I think those who make such decision have a perversed mind. Invariably, if anyone wants to marry in that community, only what one needs to do is to rape the lady. Onece the lady is raped, it a sure banker for the man to marry ythe lady then. All those who made such decision and those that supported them should be jailed.
3 people like this
@mansha (6298)
• India
27 Jan 07
I wish the same, but its really hard to make them realise this
2 people like this
• Indonesia
27 Jan 07
Yes, I agree with you, and that kind of thing is happening in my country too. I don't think the girl should marry her rapist. She must have hurted her feeling very badly now, because she must marry the man who raped him. I think that the girl hate her rapist, so why do her parents forced her to marry someone that she hate? She'll be suffered. I think you should meet the girl and ask her about her opinion about this, because marriage is a big decision of life.
3 people like this
@mansha (6298)
• India
27 Jan 07
this is what is hard to comprehend but as I don't know them well I can't just barge in their affairs. but I spoke to the aunt of the girl who works for me but she says that this is how trhings are done and I should not interfer,I am not exactly welcomed there.
2 people like this
@flowerchilde (12529)
• United States
27 Jan 07
Yes this is crazy! Let's hope at least he was her boyfriend and she still likes him after all that... but even then it's doubtfull.. But if he was not her boyfriend.. why that's pretty much certafiable isn't it? (In that those people should be committed for being crazy!)
1 person likes this
@mansha (6298)
• India
1 Feb 07
If he is her boyfriend or not that I am not aware of.sorry
• Philippines
28 Jan 07
Indeed, this is an unfair decision to the women. Are you from India? I heard that in your country, they give more importance to males so I guess that is the reason why the elders in your community think it is a just decision.
1 person likes this
@mansha (6298)
• India
10 Apr 07
yes I am from India and yes we do prefer males to females, sad but true. I wish it was different but it is not to be.
• India
27 Jan 07
Hmmm, this is really a serious matter. But i think they should forget the past and look for the good future.
1 person likes this
@mansha (6298)
• India
1 Feb 07
what future?
@nanands (122)
• India
29 Jan 07
All of us feel shocked by what you have brought up. There are worse alternartives practised by some village communities. The rapist is asked to pay a fine by committee of village elders to the girls's family and the whole thing is forgotten. The girl may marry a who does not mind. Is that better? I dont know.
1 person likes this
@mansha (6298)
• India
1 Feb 07
It is shocking, I am still shocked at this news, I feel so helpless and really wan to go and shake up that girl's parents. This is 21st century India and what are they thinking. Poor girl is being denied her rights. I called up a Friend of mine to discuss this, He is in Police force, he says the complaint should have been made immediately after the rape and hi hands are tied as no one from the girl's family or girl herself has bothered to approach the police. I don't know if girl is a minor or not and sitting in Pune I really can't do much about it too. I just hope the girl survives this ordeal.
• South Africa
27 Jan 07
this story has shocked me its disgusting and i cant believe other people are agreeing that they should be married. What should actually happen because he raped her they should should the thing he couldnt control with which he raped her with. I dont agree at all with the marriage he should also be locked up and never see the light of day ever in his life again.
• Serbia And Montenegro
27 Jan 07
I agree with you. It's rather disgusting. But this is what is happening in some communities, for real.
• India
27 Jan 07
Yes I agree ,this is one of the most inhuman decisions i've come across..but the point is nothing can be done about it untill the person who suffers dosen't raise his/her voice.Because a person who suffers injustice in silence is equally as guilty as the person inflicting it .
1 person likes this
• Jamaica
27 Jan 07
Truly it sounds disturbing. I am getting the feeling that they are punishing the girl more than the person who raped her, he isn't getting much punishment.
1 person likes this