Would You Rather Sleep Alone, Or With Someone?

@webduck (238)
United States
January 27, 2007 1:20pm CST
Since I have fibromyalgia, I have a very hard time getting restorative sleep. My husband works full time, and gets up early in the morning. After years of struggling with this sleep problem, we finally decided on two bedrooms (and me with ear plugs). The marriage isn't in trouble, and it does help both of us get our sleep. When it comes right down to it, I would rather have sleep than cuddling. How do you feel about this?
2 people like this
12 responses
@mamina30 (135)
• United States
29 Jan 07
I was spoiled for the first half of my life not being married and having a comfy queen bed all to myself. Obviously, when I got married I had to share my bed with my husband. He snores like a train and sometimes wakes me up so I just get up and head off to the guest room. He doesn't like it but I told him if he wouldn't snore I wouldn't head off to the guest room!
@webduck (238)
• United States
29 Jan 07
Kind of a Catch 22 sort of thing, huh? Originally, my husband's snoring was the reason I went to my own room, but now we both snore (we need to lose weight) so that reason kind of is moot now.
@maryannemax (12172)
• Sweden
29 Jan 07
you're in a reasonable situation. and for as long as you and your husband's married life is not disturbed at all with the situation, there's no problem with that. as for me, i don't sleep alone. sometimes, i sleep beside my brother with leukemia. sometimes, i sleep with my mom. i myself have ischemia and should not sleep on my own. usually, i get attacks from my disease when sleeping or when it's so cold at night. and it's always better to have someone on my side whenever the attack hits me.
1 person likes this
@webduck (238)
• United States
29 Jan 07
I think our married life is better when we both can get some sleep. I am sorry to hear that you have ischemia. I had to look it up to see what it is for sure, but now that I know, it sounds pretty scary. I can see why you would not sleep alone. My thoughts and good wishes are with you my friend.
@Geminigirl (1909)
• United States
28 Jan 07
I love to sleep with hubby, but sometimes it is nice to stretch out in the bed and claim it as my own!
1 person likes this
@webduck (238)
• United States
29 Jan 07
I agree, there is nothing like a nice big ol' bed to yourself. In order for me to get that, I have to close the door and keep the cat out. Then he whines (the cat, not the husband) and I have to let him in.
@Willowlady (10666)
• United States
27 Jan 07
Sleeping apart as you do is a clear indicator that restorative sleep is best done alone. The shifting of the bed, snoring and getting up and down in the night can all disrupt sleep patterns. Health issues aside, I find that sleeping along is much more conducive to getting solid uninterrupted sleep. Glad you could work it out and am hoping that you find help for your condition!!
1 person likes this
@webduck (238)
• United States
29 Jan 07
Thanks Willowlady! I use earplugs and now and then I catch up on my sleep. As for the condition...well, they are working on a cure. Maybe they will impliment one in my life time. Hope springs eternal.
@dmillman (2273)
• United States
27 Jan 07
Well, this is interesting. My husband and I are very different people with very different needs. He snores at night, so I don't want to cuddle with him - it just makes it louder. so, the further away from him, the better. I'm a blanket hog, so we can't share blankets. We have to have seperate blankets or he'll wake up in the morning without any and I'll have them all. Luckily we have a California King, so there's plenty of room - just not enough to get away from his snoring - hehehe.
1 person likes this
@webduck (238)
• United States
29 Jan 07
That was what started our separate bedroom thing...the snoring. It may all change when he retires...whenever that might be. He is eligible now, but we are still paying bills. ::: big sigh::::
• United States
29 Jan 07
All in all, I'd much rather sleep with my husband. I understand why you would resort to separate bedrooms though. There are times when my husband's snoring almost causes me to move to another room. My parents also sleep in separate rooms, because one has to have a ton of blankets, and the other likes it ice cold. I guess you do what you have to do. Being sleep deprived isn't going to help anyone's marriage or relationship.
@brokentia (10396)
• United States
29 Jan 07
There are nights that I do want to cuddle. But there have been times that my partner has been out of town and I slept by myself...and once I did get to sleep, I slept like a log! I thought it was amazing that I sleep so sound because I never sleep that sound! I am always tossing and turning at night. Getting hot or getting cold...but I have also found, that when I sleep by myself, I find a position and I do not move. Then when I wake up in the morning, I have hurting all over because I lack to move at all! Maybe I get so comfortable, I don't want to move. Or maybe I sleep so unusually sound that I forget to move. Or maybe i am scared and fear that if I move the boogie man might get me. ha ha Just playing. But I am sure that if I slept alone more often, I would not be so cranky and disoriented in the morning.
1 person likes this
@SplitZip (1490)
• Portugal
27 Jan 07
I honestly think nothing beats having a (preferrably king-sized) bed all to yourself :) I suppose having someone to help warm your cold feet might be pleasant -- nothing a hot water bottle can't fix though ;)
@webduck (238)
• United States
27 Jan 07
I would say I have a queen sized bed to myself, but the cat would disagree. Oh, and I have an electric blanket. It just makes my body ache all over to get in a cold bed.
1 person likes this
@SplitZip (1490)
• Portugal
27 Jan 07
I've heard horror stories about electric blankets, so I'd never get one, but it doesn't take too long to get comfortable under the sheets :)
@GardenGerty (99286)
• United States
27 Jan 07
We sork different shifts, so a large part of my sleep time is alone, if I will just get off of the computer and go to bed. Some people do not realize that separate bedrooms can be very "normal". Rest well, friend
@webduck (238)
• United States
27 Jan 07
I think the separate rooms is a lot more normal than most people think it is. A lot of our friends in our age group (50's) have them. Besides, what fun it is to say, "Your place, or mine?" LOL
@fabwisp (1328)
27 Jan 07
I couldnt imagine not sleeping with my partner. But in a situation like yours then I think it would be the best alternative. A marraige deprived of sleep is soon going to become a very unhappy one.
@webduck (238)
• United States
27 Jan 07
It did for a while, and then I was just so desperate for sleep that we had to make this arrangement.
@maryannemax (12172)
• Sweden
29 Jan 07
webduck, the thing is, it's okey for both of you. it's kinda strange but for as long as this kind of arrangement suits you both, then, it's good for you two.
@sharon613 (2324)
• United States
31 Jan 07
I would rather sleep with someone.
• United States
31 Jan 07
My husband refuses to belive he snores, even after being recorded. He swears we edited the tape. LOL Anyways if I plan on getting any sleep, I sleep somewhere else. I think I could overcome the snoring if I wore earplugs, but I'm not sure how I would resolve the whole cover hog problem.