Are Your MyLot Friends Your Friends? Do You Delete or Turn Off for A Bit?

United States
January 27, 2007 11:00pm CST
Recently a friend that I thought had a very good connection with me deleted me from her/his friendship list. It really bothers me because I don't know what happened. I don't know what I did or did not do; but I would love to have the chance to make up or explain. However, with the MyLot Syeterm, it is not possible to send a message if you are not friends. I would NEVER delete a friend. I might get a bit irritated if that person filled my box day after day with post after post and turn them off for a bit, just to give another friend a chance; but DELETE, never. How about the rest of you - what is your personal protocal? ~Donna
13 people like this
65 responses
@misskatonic (3727)
• United States
28 Jan 07
I have a few folks on here I've made actual connections with - Shmeedia, you, Emraldisle and a few others - and the rest I consider online acquaintances. I would never delete anyone unless for some reason they started to consistently post bigotry or hate-filled discussions. I don't want to be associated with that type of person. Luckily, I don't have anyone like that on my friends page. I'm sorry that someone removed yyou with no word of warning. That is, in my opinion, a very uncool thing to do.
3 people like this
@emeraldisle (13146)
• United States
28 Jan 07
Had to respond here after such a nice comment from misskatonic. Thank you. I was lucky and made some really good friends when I first joined, which I'm really glad of. I've gotten to read some very good discussions because of it.
• United States
28 Jan 07
Glad you showed up, MissK. I just remembered I was supposed to check out your profile the other night and got busy working and spaced it. (insert red face here)
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Jan 07
You 3 are The Best and you know it! Blessed Be ~Donna
@firoafame (359)
• Thiruvananthapuram, India
28 Jan 07
well its a personal choice. you cant help it. think like this. he is the looser. he lost someone who liked him. but you lost someone who didn't like you. i hope this makes you feel better
2 people like this
• United States
28 Jan 07
That was a really nice thing to say as well as a very COOL way of looking at that. Kudos to you.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Jan 07
That was so sweet, thank you so much ~Donna
@emeraldisle (13146)
• United States
28 Jan 07
Well when I first joined I didn't know a whole lot and I had many who requested to be a friend. I had no idea at the time and accepted everyone. Once I learned a bit more and realized that wasn't such a good idea, after being spammed a few times etc I did go through and remove some. Ones who I realized weren't looking for friends but just people to earn money off. In that case yes I did delete them. However since then no I haven't.
2 people like this
• United States
29 Jan 07
Emerald, It is really hard for me to turn anyone down. When I get a request, I first go to their page and see if they have at least one discussion that I can answer to. If they don't, I really don't understand why they asked me to be their friend; but I do accept them; I just don't "turn on" their link, so my email box doesn't fill up so much. Right now my email has over 400 in it with the ones that I do have "on". I will go in periodically and switch around those that I have "on" and replace them with others for a bit. I also don't answer each and every discussion that a friend posts. If I see that MYFRIENDSOANDSO has posted 15 discussions one right after another in my email, I will answer one or two of them and delete the rest so I can move on to another friend. I hope that others do the same thing. I never post more than 2 discussions in one day so my friends never have to make choices like that. ~Donna
@gm240359 (43)
• India
29 Jan 07
Even cyber-friendship is ideally ought to be real, I feel. However, not many nerds feel that. They forget the golden rule, ' make a new friend, keeping the old; one is silver and the other's gold'. From your side also, try to be a little less emotional about your mylot friends. You ought to remember that every relationship has an expiry date.
• United States
28 Jan 07
Merry Meet Donna...I know with me, I might disappear for a few days but that's usually because the net got turned off and it was beyond my control...other than that, I do try to stay inm contact with those I have become really good friends with...a friend is a friend rather they are on here or on the net and I try to take them and their feelinbgs and emotions into consideration. I hope this helps because if someone totally stopped talking to me for whatever reason...I would hope they atleast told me why for simple respect of self if no otyher reasons...Blessed Be Dearheart...
2 people like this
@kathy77 (7488)
• Australia
28 Jan 07
Yes mylot friends are my friends, but this is very strange when your so called friend did this to you without explaining anything to you and you cannot work out what you did or did not do to them. I have deleted a couple of so called friends but only due to one not sending out any discussions, and the other sending me a business to join and wanted my phone number and not unless I have been friends with that particular person for awhile would I do this.
1 person likes this
@willocfc (965)
• Australia
28 Jan 07
well im new here and have no friends on mylot just now, but i think if it was someone you were friends with outside of mylot then yes i would be a little curious as to why, but maybe the person was just deleting people who he/she hadnt been in active discussions with for a while.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Jan 07
Kathy, you have not yet responded to my friendship request and I do hope you know that I was kidding about the Tupperware in my response to one of your posts. Thank you so much for your answer on this discussion. I really don't understand what happened; and as another poster said, I am too emotional ~Donna
• United States
29 Jan 07
Willo, I just visited your site and see that you have several friends now! Thank you for responding to this question. I appreciate your input ~donna
@brendalee (6083)
• United States
28 Jan 07
Most of my friends I feel like I have a good connection with and I would feel upset too if they deleted me for no reason. Maybe it was an accident. I don't have any of my friends on email notify because my email fills up way too fast. But I go through my friends discussions many times during the day, sometimes I end up going 50 pages back. Or every once in awhile I will go to their name and profile and see if I missed a discussion. Sorry, got off track a bit here. But no, I would not just delete someone. I did have one friend who deleted me but because they were having computer troubles. I am now back on his list. What I did was find a discussion of his that I responded too and I wrote a little comment asking why he deleted me.
1 person likes this
@brendalee (6083)
• United States
28 Jan 07
I just went and looked at my friends page. That delete button is very close to the notify off button. Maybe they hit delete by accident.
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Jan 07
Thank you brendalee - what a positive attitude! I needed that ~Donna
• United States
20 Feb 07
I have a question-- what is the purpose of a Mylot friend who never posts anything of interest to me and never repsonds to my discussions? I am noticing that is happening with a few of my friends. I'm not sure why they requested to be my friend in the first place. I would rather have a small core group of people who's discussions and writing style are in sync with mine. I feel bad, but I am considering deleting a few, because some of these friends are just bogging down my profile page. I do wish Mylot had a way to notify them with a reason why-- my reason would simply be "we have nothing in common".
1 person likes this
• United States
7 May 07
This is a great idea! It may be something you would want to submit to MyLot if you know how to get in touch with them. I have never figured that one out ~Donna
@Julia1970 (410)
• United States
29 Jan 07
I only accept friends on mylot that I would hope become my real friends. I would be devestated if that happened to me. I am sad for you. The only way I would ever delete anyone is if they were threatening me or others. I don't tolerate that mess.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Jan 07
I do chek out their profile page before I accept them as friends. I try to weed out some of them that just give me the creeps. I have had to deny some, they were too freaky for me!
1 person likes this
@kgwat70 (13396)
• United States
28 Jan 07
I have made some really good friends here on myLot whom I exchange private messages with from time to time. I try not to delete any friends in my list unless they are being rude to me or anyone else. If they create too many topics or really silly or stupid topics, I will turn the notifier off so that my inbox will not get flooded. It makes it easier to concentrate on the good topics created by my friends.
• United States
29 Jan 07
Thank you! That is exactly how I feel and exactly what I do. I never post more than 2 discussions in one day, and I rarely post 2. I find that to be really rude and it is so nice to see that someone else puts words to my feelings also. ~Donna
@yorb24 (2181)
• United States
28 Jan 07
I don't think I would delete a friend either. I can't imagine why someone would unless they are trying to lessen their friends because they can't keep up with all the discussions.
• United States
29 Jan 07
Now that is something that I had not thought of. Thank you so much, it does make me feel just a wee bit better ~Donna
@Sir_bobby88 (8245)
• Singapore
28 Jan 07
Yea i do not delete a friend and sometimes i will check out their discussion and help them to reply , sometimes they also help me ... isn't that friends should be yea ..
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Jan 07
Thank you for taking the time to answer, it is much appreciated. I love the fact that so many of you do apprecitate the strength of online friendships ~Donna
@vanities (11376)
• Davao, Philippines
28 Jan 07
i dont delete friends..even though i cant answer all their discussions due to comprehension or whatever..i value friendships here in my lot...
• United States
29 Jan 07
Thank you for your comment. I see that you are another emotional one! I guess we have to stick together ~Donna
@onesiobhan (1330)
• Canada
28 Jan 07
I don't take it personally when an online friend decides to take me off their reading list. The way I look at it, I can sometimes be uncomfortable with the way certain people relate to certain environments. That doesn't mean I don't like them any more, I just don't want to be involved in that particular part of their persona. And if the only way I know them is online - we aren't really friends so I don't care what they do.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Jan 07
I really wish that I had an attitude more similar to yours sometimes. I form bonds and attachemets too easily I fear ~Donna
• India
28 Jan 07
not all but yes there are few.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Jan 07
Thank you.
@Geminigirl (1909)
• United States
28 Jan 07
I would just forget about it. It is not like these people are face to face friends. Soemtimes people just delete. I delted a friend who spammed me with a sales pitch and I do not feel bad about it, because I feel that the only reason she requested me as a friend was to spam me privately.
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Jan 07
Weeeellll, Gemini, you know, I don't think we are friends yet---but I do sell Tupperware. LOL ~Donna I will be requesting your friendship as soon as I send this off ~Donna
@lucy02 (5017)
• United States
28 Jan 07
Well it would be easy enough to do by accident. The only friends I've deleted is the ones that hadn't logged on in a month or so. I wouldn't delete someone just because we didn't agree on a topic.
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Jan 07
Thank you for your answer, Lucy, it is appreciated ~Donna
@irisheyes (4373)
• United States
28 Jan 07
Well actually, I did delete a few. They just listed too much and even with the notification turned off, their postings still flooded my friends discussions section to the point where I couldn't find any other friend's disccussions. May be there was a mistake made and they don't even know they deleted you. Why not just request them for a friend and see what happens. If you think you will be hurt if they deny your request, wait until you have two other requests and make them all at the same time. It's not likely all three will deny the request and you'll wind up with at least one or two new friends to be happy about. (That's what I do and when one person denied my request, it didn't bother me at all. I just filled her slot with somebody else.)
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Jan 07
I appreciate that from you, thank you for the answer - it's just that she was my "first" friend here and I miss her :( ~Donna
• United States
28 Jan 07
Well im new with the whole friends thing, but i usually just add people i know, so i would be hurt. But if it was someone i didnt know, i wouldnt care.
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Jan 07
Thank you for your answer, it is appreciated ~Donna
• India
28 Jan 07
You are too emotional i think.I have friends on my lot but they are not my real friends.we also can be friends and its not mean that i have too respond your all discussions or a vise versa.If you really like him/her you can keep your message box on and also you can directly ask him/her why he has done the same.Please be professional and yes we can be friends now..If you think its ok.
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Jan 07
You have a great point and I do respect it. You are also correct about me being emotional. I have indirectly asked; but as I said, MyLot will not let you send a private message if you are not on that person's "friend" list. Thank you.