how do you get over the love of your life

United States
January 29, 2007 9:00am CST
my son and his girlfriend of 8 years had split up in Nov.2006 she is still very much in love with him but do to a lot of circumstances my son just got fed up with everything and told her to leave ,she came to me the other day and was crying she said that she knows what she did was wrong and that she could not blame him for any of this .at frist she thought that he was involved with some one else but that was not the case she had cheated on him a lot but now she wants to say she is sorry and let it go at that but she still wants him back.my son has found someone else and the x girlfriend still think that they will get back together which I do not see that happing,the x girlfriend told me that she could no longer go with out my son that he was her life and that she wanted to die if she could not get him back..How does she let him go i told her that the hurt will ease up in time but it will take awhile and for her to go on with her life I told her that she just has to let go ..she says she wants the family she had with us when her and my son was together I told her that she will always have us but just not my son Was I right in telling her that?
10 people like this
59 responses
@sigma77 (5385)
• United States
29 Jan 07
Yes, of course you told her the right thing. This is one way that she will learn. Hopefully, with the next guy she finds, she will be true and remember her mistakes with your son. Your son cannot be blamed for turning her away. It is good you are still friends with her. But, I wonder if that is just her way of hanging on to hope that your son might take her back?
1 person likes this
@maryannemax (12170)
• Sweden
29 Jan 07
i hope his ex girlfriend learned her lessons already. just sad that she needed to learn it the painful way. but that's life. and i hope she respects the happiness now of her ex-boyfriend now that he found new happiness in someone else.
• United States
29 Jan 07
I HATE TO SEE HER IN PAIN BUT GOES ALONG WITH ANY RELATIONSHIP i TOO HOPE SHE FINDS A MAN AS GOOD AS MY SON I DOUBT THAT HE WILL EVER TAKE HER BACK SHE HAS HURT HIM TOO MANY TIMES IF SHE IS TRYING TO HOLD ON TO BY TRYING TO GO THROUGH ME THAT IS SO WRONG BECAUSE I WILL NOT COME BETWEEN MY SONS AND THEIR GIRL FRIENDS
@maryannemax (12170)
• Sweden
29 Jan 07
that's sad. i had my exboyfriend for 8 years coming up to me now with the help of his mother to win me back. but i just can't no longer take him in my life since i am already in this happy relationship with my boyfriend for 9 months now. and we're happy and i won't let anyone ruin the love we have for each other. for sure, the first days, weeks or months after the break up always make us feel so bad inside. i myself felt so down after he dumped me for another woman. i felt so bad that i felt so crushed down into pieces. but then, i cried everything out, learned my lessons and went on with my life without him. i never fell inlove for a year and a few months until my boyfriend now came across my life. you did the right thing for telling her that she will always have you and the other people in your family to be her friend. but you can never force your son to love her again especially now that he's inlove with his new girlfriend. your son's ex girlfriend should respect the happiness of your son now. it hurts i know. but she need to go through it. and with you on her side, she'll be better.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Jan 07
Thank you for your respond and thank you for your comment
@richrich (52)
• Oman
29 Jan 07
I guess what you told her is right, you can also explain to her that this is life, when we do mistakes we regret later, sometimes we can fix things out sometimes we can't. We got to forgive others and our selfs for doing these mistakes and move on with our life. Feel our sad regrating feelings and just accept them.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Jan 07
I agree with you thank you fro responding
• United States
29 Jan 07
You right in telling her that....if you really meant it. I don't know what your relationship was with her, but I also wonder if she is using your relationship to hold on to your son. What she did is the worst type of betrayal...at least in my eyes and hopefully she'll learn from her mistakes. How does your son feel about you continuing a relationship with his x?
• United States
29 Jan 07
She was like a daughter to me through out that relatioship and will always be treated like one I will welcome his new girl into the family just like I did his x my son does not care either way I am still close friends with his x x and I still talk to her all the time and he does not care
• Romania
29 Jan 07
gettin over your love of your life???I don't think that there is a way to do that... See, we are spiritual human beings, the love of your life, in other words is the half of your everything. I'm 21 and my girlfriend is 17, I can proudly say that she is the love of my life, and this is how she feels as well. Every time when I think at the fact, that one day we could break up, I feel sick, I feel like I can't live without her. But enough about me, this wn't help you. I think that time will help them to get over, nothing else just time and maybe some new friends and a new relationship. Cheers!
• United States
29 Jan 07
thank you for responding
@daryllau (284)
• Malaysia
29 Jan 07
Of course you did the right thing. What other choice is there in situations like these? Since you are the DAD of the person involved in this, you can't change the decision of your son and you definitely shouldn't as it is his own judgement to make. I truly feel sorry for the girl but she has to accept the situation soon and move on to find the 2nd love of her life so to speak.
• United States
29 Jan 07
NO. 1 I am the Mother not the father he passed away about 3 years ago and I d not interfre with my son's life they make their own choice's thanks for responcding
@daryllau (284)
• Malaysia
29 Jan 07
Ah my bad and sorry to hear that about your husband... By the way I was not implying you are... I'm just stating that as a parent we shouldn't in general.
• United States
29 Jan 07
thank you and apology is excepted Thank you for you reponse
@rubypatson (1842)
• India
30 Jan 07
Yes you did the right thing, it was not your decision it was your sons and you are still nice to her so dont worry about that she needs to understand and if he wants her back he will come back to her
• United States
30 Jan 07
Thank you your answer is short and sweet.now how do you put on your response best response
• India
4 Feb 07
So nice of you, to make mine as the best response, thank you Have a great day
@Gwapako_28 (2142)
• Philippines
30 Jan 07
Thats a hard situation!But your son was already ended the relationship they have!Its hard for them to re-unite since he got another gf!All she needs to do is to accept the reality!Let time healed the pain and adjust day by day of not having your son with her anymore!
• United States
30 Jan 07
agree, Thank you or responding to this discussion.
• United States
30 Jan 07
agree, Thank you for responding to this discussion.
• Philippines
30 Jan 07
You are a good person that I could say. Despite the fact she cheated on your son you still managed to listen to her and comfort her. She cannot bring back the past.She has to move on.She should respect the new relationship of your son. Sometimes learning in life could be very painful and hard but she will become a better person after this.And when she finds a new love, she will not commit the same mistake again. As for your son, He deserves to be happy with his new found love.
• United States
30 Jan 07
Thank you for responding and thank you for the complamemt
• United States
30 Jan 07
Thank you for responding and thank you for the complamemt
@innechen (1321)
• Indonesia
31 Jan 07
you are very nice person, what u told to ur son's ex is right.eventhough she is not with ur son anymore that doesn't mean that you have to hate her or forget her also.my x until now still keep in contact with my mom, and my mom still considered himm as her son, and me+husband doesnt mind with that.
• United States
31 Jan 07
Thank you so much for responding to this discussion there is no harm for family memebers to still be friends with there sons/daughters g/f or b/f
• India
30 Jan 07
i believe u did the right thing by being politely truthful to her. if ur son has entered a new relationship then he has been successful in completely getting over the previous one n there's no point in looking back now.she has learnt her lesson (the x Girlfriend) n she will eventually settle down in life as no one is not so indispensable that life cannot go on without that person.
• United States
30 Jan 07
thank you for responding to my disxcussion
@rozebara (139)
• Philippines
30 Jan 07
yes i believe ur right, you have a right to protect your son. maybe they're just not meant for each other. Pray so ur son so he can find a better one. You know a better partner is a gift from God. (Proverbs 19:14)
• United States
30 Jan 07
thank you and I pray for my children and grandchildren ,fiends and family members every nigh and I pray for all the people that has responded to my discussion I pray for every one
@amanda84 (263)
• Malaysia
30 Jan 07
i know how she felt. u have to let her know bygone is bygone. Tell her that she need her own life and u were always be there for her. I mean, its no point to be together when its really over. Tell her that she & ur son can be a good frend instead of couple. Let her know that by b'coming a frend is even much more better than couple.
• United States
30 Jan 07
I am sure that they will become friends in time neither one of them hate each other it is just my son does not have any feeling for her and that when she learns this the better off she will be
@ktmpok (611)
• Nepal
30 Jan 07
i m poor in lov coz i've failed in lov .... My gal dont even care me so i have no idea to share with u
• United States
30 Jan 07
may be you just have not found the right partner there is someone out there for every one and I am sure that you will find yours some day and I do hope that will be soon for you
@cabergren (1181)
• United States
30 Jan 07
As long as you mean that you will be there for her. But she does sound like she has more problems than just losing your son. Sounds like she may need some help. Maybe help that you cannot give her.
• United States
30 Jan 07
I will be here for her and if she needs more help I will talk to her about getting it
• India
30 Jan 07
Love is a phase that does not come by easily and once if it does come it does not go away easily........those once in love not necessary that will always be in love....they just need more that enough time to come out of the hangover........or if they have been hurt then to recover from the state of shock and dispair....you were absolutely right in telling her so because it is your son who is going to decide with which girl does he want to stay with and to whom is he going to get married to.
• United States
30 Jan 07
my son says that he is not ready to get married yet I am sure that he will be with his new girlfriend for a long while because my son is just like momma when we fall in love then we are in the relationship for a long time and we stick to the partner regardless what they do to hurt us until we get enough or just can't deal with it anymore
• United States
30 Jan 07
I feel that coming to you was a last ditch effort to get your son back. I think she is trying to get you on her side, so you can talk to him and maybe help her cause out. I think you have told her the right thing. Hopefully she can get on with her life, and learn from her mistakes.
• United States
30 Jan 07
Yes I felt that way when she came to me and while I was talking to her I told her that I was not going to come between my son and his new girlfriend but I would always be there to talk or listen to her
@Sir_bobby88 (8244)
• Singapore
30 Jan 07
Try to get himself busy as ever , if he and she is working together then try to go for a long holiday , he might find a new love while traveling and enjoying himself yea
• United States
30 Jan 07
he has already found a new girl friend Thank you for responding to my discussion
• Malaysia
30 Jan 07
yes that's the right thing u shld say.just tell her,maybe he's not for her,she will be find another guy that better from your son.i think the best way is,try to console her and let her forget for the past.because some circumstances,when we love someone,we shld let it go.right?
• United States
30 Jan 07
as they say if you love someone set them free and if they come back it was meant to be Thank you for responding to my discussion
@somaiya (24)
• India
30 Jan 07
i feel u r right .... she has done a mistake by doubting in her relationship . i feel u must not invole in u r sons life thts wat u r doing now so u r right.... time is a great healer she will accept the fact soon
• United States
30 Jan 07
thank you for responding to this discussion
• Philippines
30 Jan 07
Try to be busy with other things, if you feel that you can go all alone without anyone else in your life, go ahead but if you can't you better find someone else to replace her in your heart.
• United States
30 Jan 07
there should be a time for grieving when you lost the love of your life and that could take some time but she needs to just move on