ami right or wrong?

@baby88 (696)
Singapore
January 30, 2007 3:08am CST
hi everybody! just want to ask am i right or wrong to carry on with my work or just be a little women, staying at home looking after my babies to be a housewife? ok, recently my hubby asked me to quit my job and stay at home that i really don't want. we had a arguement n he's not too happy abt me till now since two days ago. just to be honest i really don't like to be a housewife staying at home looking after kids. am not saying that i don't love my kids but i just like to have some freedom after married. can you guys teach me wat to do or am i really wrong?
11 people like this
65 responses
@camille101 (1027)
• United Arab Emirates
31 Jan 07
Me and my husband had the same argument several years ago when I was still working. Because I wanted to prove to him that I prioritize our family over anything and so I eventually quit and stayed at home. But after some years gone by we needed more resources and means since economically everything are getting expensive, and our relatives adviced him to let me work again. And so here I am, I'm just glad that he approves of it and it wouldn't be another source of argument in the future. Sometimes, you just have to prove to your family that they're the first for you.
3 people like this
@baby88 (696)
• Singapore
31 Jan 07
thanks for ur advised n i know wat i should do now.
@adidas7878 (2013)
• United States
30 Jan 07
hello friend there is no right or wrong answer to this question, he want you to stay home because he cares about you, and you want to work because you dont want to be bored and have some freedom, dont argue too much on it, do whatever it is right sit down and talk more about.
@maryannemax (12172)
• Sweden
31 Jan 07
arguments is a part of life. for as long as it's a healthy discussion, it's okey. well, you are right adidas7878. it's always better to sit down together and talk about the matter. straighten things out together and hope that eveyrthing happens well.
2 people like this
@nfhs79 (861)
• Malaysia
30 Jan 07
This goes back to you. You must think what's the best for you and babies. Think the positive or negative if u work and also if you stay at home. Maybe your hubby need you to stay at home because he want to save cost on nursery or babysitting? Try ask him what are the reasons he made for u if you had to stay home be a good pretty housewife? ;) If I were you, I like to stay at home. :) Just my opinion. OK?
2 people like this
• Philippines
31 Jan 07
i agree! you should weigh the pros and cons. maybe your hubby wants you at home to take care of your babies better and him. a lot of guys wants that. it's really best that the mother cares always there for the kids. believe me, it's soul fulfilling when your kids grow up and they are very close to you. it's not bad to just stay at home as long as your hubbby can manage the expenses.
1 person likes this
@atode01 (39)
• Canada
31 Jan 07
I hate to admit it but I'm one of those husbands that prefer to come home to their wife without having to worry that she might still be laboring in the office with no ride home. I guess it is a bit selfish but with my son being still so young, it just gives me more confidence that the kid is enjoying those years with his mom. Once he reaches a certain age, my wife & I agreed to review this stand and she can go back to the industry raring to go.
2 people like this
• United States
31 Jan 07
well it is tough, being a woman is hard after marriage because we like it our not we are the head in the family. Men thought they are but the reality is we do are. We are the Pillars of our own families. It is up to us to make sure that our home is good, happy and wonderful. Our children and husband's rely on us. All I can say is that you are in that situition, look into your heart I know the answer is there. If you know your job makes you happy then stick by it but you know the consequences, your family's relationship, your husband feeling towards you will be at stake. If you go saty at home and take care of the children and be a house wife, you make oyur husband happy but then you lost tyour own identity. It takes a great deal of courage, sacrifice and patience to pull that situation off.
@maryannemax (12172)
• Sweden
31 Jan 07
my boyfriend and i talked about it. that if we get married, i want to have my own career as well. and he agrees to it. he wants me to do what i think is best for me and my career. as for you, i suggest that you talk some more to your husband. just try to convince him. arguments are a part of life and of a relationship. but atleast, give yourself a chance to voice out your thoughts, feelings and opinions about it. i know some women are at home because they weren't allowed by their husbands to work. and later on, they realize that they should have worked and had a life. they could have been happier. some stay at home for valid reasons. it differs from woman to woman. as for you, since you wanna work, make your husband feel that you will still be there for your kids and you will still be a good wife to him even if you're working. then, prove that to him so he'll understand you more.
2 people like this
• Philippines
31 Jan 07
It is all about priorities. Priorities which are also dependent to your economic status. If your husband is earning big more than enought to support the family so there is no reason for you to work and earn, that is if your sole reason to work is to help him financially. If this is the case then It would be wise for you to stay home because th kids deserve also to have a full time mother who can give them quality time. However, if your reason is to exercise your career and gets sort of fulfillment earning your own money, then no one can question the choice you will make. You and your husband must talk and when you do consider also the kids in your decision making. You know there are women who love to become hands on full time mothers. If I am the husband and has good earning, I would be very grateful If my wife finds contentment in staying at home at looking for the kids who I think really need close parental guidance of at least one full time mother. Staying at home may be boring but a creative mother can find ways to become productive besides doing mothering and housekeeping. I hope your and yur husband will settle things in good terms. Good luck to both of you.
@baby88 (696)
• Singapore
1 Mar 07
thanks for the good advised!!
@Corvin (417)
• Philippines
31 Jan 07
if i'm your husband... i will not be burden to your career life. I entered your life and i should know what do you like in life. And if you told me that you want to have a career and still have a baby, thats fine with me. I don't believe in a practice house life that a man should the one who have a job and the woman should only stayed in homes, todays culture... both parents can have job as long as they can take care of their siblings.
1 person likes this
@baby88 (696)
• Singapore
31 Jan 07
thank you!
• United States
31 Jan 07
With your attitude of a stay at home mom just being the "little woman" I think you should stay working. You would be miserable and make your childrens lives miserable. Staying home with your children is a hard job it requires alot of a woman, that being said it takes a speical kind of mom to stay home and from your post I would say you aren't meant to be one. So keep on working you will get to spend plenty of time with your children later in life right, besides I am sure the daycare will let you know when your baby takes his first step, says his first word, they usually keep good track of all the exicting things your children do.
1 person likes this
@deebomb (15323)
• United States
31 Jan 07
You know these years with your babies can never be replaced. The first 5 or 6 years of ylour babies life is the most important ones. This is when they are learning so much and if you are working you will miss out one so much all those cute first words that they struggle with. These years will go by very fast if you can just enjoy them and be patient. Had you and your hubby discussed this before you were married?
@hellboi (664)
• Philippines
31 Jan 07
well it depends on your priorities in life. if you really want to pursue a career then why did you have a baby or a family in the first place. my point here is you allowed this to happen in your life so whatever consequences it brings you have to pay attention to it. you have to contemplate on what should be your priority, is it your family or your career. is it necessary that you have to give up the other so that you can focus on only one. talk it out with your hubby, think of possibilities. like can you possibly work at home while you take care of the baby. cause for me, i think you owe it to your kids that you are there when they first crawled or walk or say their first word. the career can wait if your priority is your family. it doesn't mean also that if you are a housewife you lose your independence cause in the very first place you are now committed to your husband, to a family you both would want to upbring. so once again, think of your priorities and talk it out.
1 person likes this
@Sissygrl (10915)
• Canada
31 Jan 07
It really is up to you, i mean i want to stay home with my kids till they go to school. but i think that everyone is different, and i know where you are coming from with the wanting some freedom and independence! i'm not sure i know what those words MEAN anymore lol. You will have to decide for yourself and talk to your husband and hope he accepts your decision. or maybe you could come to some sort of aggreement, like you work part time or on weekends when he's home with the kids, i'm not sure what would work for you but maybe try to comprimise.
1 person likes this
@chumm525 (169)
• Philippines
31 Jan 07
i think you should talk to your husband and tell him what you want and what you dont want.You should be vocal w/ yor feelings. You are right you should be honest specially for your feelings.Your husband should give you trust and he should allow you if you want to go to work.You should have the freedom to choose and to do things you want to do.
1 person likes this
@cripfemme (7718)
• United States
31 Jan 07
Everyone is different. Some moms like staying at home; it's not for some people. Talk to your husband if your really feel strongly. It's better than just doing what he says and being frustrated, that won't be good for anyone (your husband, your kids, or you).
@weemam (13377)
31 Jan 07
nobody can really tell you what to do , I stayed at home to watch my children because I wanted to be there when they said first word , walked first step but that was what I wanted to do xx
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Jan 07
You should do what makes you happy. Of course you should take into consideration the feelings of your husband and children, but sometimes you have to hurt the ones you love for your own personal happiness. In time, he will get over it and it will be a thing of the past. For the mean time, make your choice and stick with it. If you decide to change your mind in the future, there's nothing stopping you. I hope this helps and I wish you the best of luck!
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Jan 07
Please go to work and have your life. Socity has evolved so much that there is no reason why a woman has to stay at home and take care of the house. Ask your husband if he would give up his career to take care of the house. The only differece between men and woman in this situation is that woman can have children and men can't Live your life!
@michele609 (1687)
• United States
31 Jan 07
I feel the sam way but unlike you, you are lucky that your husband is a guy that will take care of his family . Well I have no choice , I have to work and sometimes I wish that i can just take a couple days of to spend with my children but I dont . So you are very lucky. Andmaybe once the kids get older you can start working again.
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Jan 07
This should be a mutual descision between the two of yuo, no one is right or wrong, you guys have to work together to find the solution that best fits your needs as a family. Perhaps you could work part time ?
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Jan 07
my opinion you are totally wrong coz to take care of your kids is the best respected job and you can fullfill yourself through your kids
1 person likes this