Do you get upset when your family/friends forget your anniversary/birthday?

@ljcapps (1927)
United States
January 30, 2007 9:00pm CST
Hey, well, today is my wife's and i'd anniversary. married 4 years, and still doing pretty good. However, nobody we know has bothered to send an ecard, regular card, or pick up the phone and say happy anniversary! My wife is pretty upset over it, but i say next year, forget theirs too. what would you say to your family/friends after something like this?
3 responses
• Canada
31 Jan 07
It has been my experience that people will often remember a first wedding anniversary, perhaps even sending a card but, after that, it's not generally acknowledged. I think that people assume a wedding anniversary to be a personal celebration for the couple. I mean, sure it's nice if people remember and extend good wishes but I never expect it. Birthdays, however, are never forgotten in my family and social circle. Each person's special day is celebrated with cards or gifts or gatherings ... perhaps all of those things. If your wife gets is really upset or saddened by the lack of recognition of your wedding anniversary, maybe the two of you could plan special little ways to celebrate that day in future... maybe a meal, maybe a night or weekend at a local hotel or motel just to "get away" and be a couple. I'm sure it would make her happy :) My husband brings me roses -- one for each year we've been married. Just "our thing" for "our day." :)
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@ljcapps (1927)
• United States
31 Jan 07
That's sweet. very sweet, and we are planning on going out this weekend. I don't think it's so much the anniversary being forgotten that bothers her, because hey, it's OUR day. But in the last year we've had problems mostly with my father forgetting my own birthday, her birthday, but her biggest problem with it was when he forgot his own grandson's fourth birthday, then called us 3 weeks before christmas, and asked how to spell his name. He's four. My dad should have figured it out by now. But in her family, birthdays and anniversaries, and everything has always been a big deal, so i think it's harder for her than it is for me, and that this is really the last straw for her.
• Canada
31 Jan 07
I can understand and appreciate how she feels... it's really different from family to family, don't you find? My ex mother-in-law (I've since remarried .... to the rose-giving guy LOL) sent Christmas cards to my girls this year and she spelled my older daughters name wrong. Always nice coming from the grandmother :( The ex father-in-law never acknowledged the girls... right from the time they were conceived! Told us he "wasn't ready to be a grandfather" and that was that. My side of the family, we've always acknowledged every occasion. When my mom was alive, she used to even give all of us little sweets for Valentine's Day or Easter -- not just the kids. She just really enjoyed doing it. I hope your wife will get past her upset. I had to learn to but since I let it go, I feel much better. I don't have expectations so there are no possibilities to be let down ;) But it still floors me how some folks can just be so uncaring when it comes to others.
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@brokentia (10396)
• United States
31 Jan 07
I have found that family often does not remember anniversaries. It is because it is more important to the couple than it is to the family, I guess. Personally, my family does not call for all the birthdays in my house. I don't have an anniversary anymore...but they didn't call when I did. And I am used to people forgetting my birthday. I have seven children and I am very last after all over them. So, I am often forgotten. But like I said, I have gotten used to it.
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@ljcapps (1927)
• United States
31 Jan 07
You shouldn't have to though. Even with seven children, and i understand, because we'll go without before our son will, but there should be someone that remembers.
• Philippines
31 Jan 07
It will be a happy thing if somebody remembers my birthday but, it doesn't really matter if no one does. I've made it a habit not to celebrate occassions like bithdays and anniversaries. Birthdays are usually remembered by a few friends and loved ones but, as for wedding anniversaries, nobody ever did. If you are that anxious over such things, the week before that date, try inviting some relatives and friends to come over to your house because you are celebrating an occasion. This way, people will surely be greeting on that fateful day.
1 person likes this
@ljcapps (1927)
• United States
31 Jan 07
that's a good suggestion, however, most of both of our families are in another state. And I think i would rather they just forget, than to have to personally remind them that this is a very special day for us. The same goes for most of our friends. we live in a small state where most people we know commute from other cities, and have varied work schedules from our own. But that is a good suggestion.