Why people never said what they think really?

people think - what they think really
India
January 31, 2007 8:08am CST
According to me one reason we don't say what we think is because we care about the feelings of others. If I think that someone's hair looks really messy today, I'm not going to tell them that it looks awkard, because I wouldn't accomplish anything except hurting their feelings. We also don't say what we think because we're afraid of what might happen to us if we did.
5 people like this
51 responses
@Avichail (694)
• Indonesia
31 Jan 07
I think before we say anything to someone we should first put ourselves in their shoes. But sometimes even when we know it's gonna hurt, we have to tell someone thr truth. It's the way we deliver the truth that often will determine whether the person will be sad but grateful to know the truth or sad and mad =D Faithful is the wounds of a friend is a verse from Proverbs that I just read today.
1 person likes this
@MAX1966 (1030)
• Netherlands
1 Feb 07
avichail i think you and i have the same feelings about this. more people should put theirselves in an other persons shoes. it would really help
1 person likes this
@Avichail (694)
• Indonesia
2 Feb 07
Thanks Max! Just imagine how much problems can be solved better when we try to understand each other rather than just want our point acrossed without thinking about someone else's first.
• United States
31 Jan 07
If it was something kind of really bad, like a good friend bought a dress and looked awful in it.. I would not want her to go out looking like that, so I would say nicely that I don't think that it looks very good. If it was just a messy hair day, I don't think I would say anything.
1 person likes this
@MAX1966 (1030)
• Netherlands
1 Feb 07
if my best friend would look really awfull in the dress.. i would maybe say so. but if it looked ok,but i just dont like it. i wont tell her that
@vanities (11387)
• Davao, Philippines
1 Feb 07
some people dont open up easily or even comment on anyones appearances due to fear of the outcome of it...and some have not thecourage to open their mouth coz of shyness..
1 person likes this
• Philippines
1 Feb 07
Maybe it is because they don't want anyone to get hurt. But for me, the reality really hurts. There are times where we really have to tell the truth, for example, you see a morning star on your friends face, it is better to tell it to her than not, because if you didn't, others who might see it might laugh at her and so that's it, and then she will tell you "why didn't you tell me!"
@marciascott (25554)
• United States
31 Jan 07
I think that applys to both of us. I think we both were in the same situation. don't you think?
1 person likes this
@mishang (499)
• Philippines
31 Jan 07
i agree with what you just said. i think that most of us hold back on the things that they really think is because we are very considerate people, that we consider other's feelings and reactions to whatever opinions we have to say. also, sometimes, people are just too cautious about what they have to say, so to save themselves for much trouble, they just shut their mouths, then no danger can be experienced. So goes the line, "me and my big mouth."
• United States
31 Jan 07
I agree we try to put ourselves in other peoples shoes, I have really wanted to say something to someone that i felt they were being very bold to ask be particular questions but i felt bold to even tell them they were bold. I guess i just dont want to hurt other peoples feelings but i guess it isnt good to keep things in either.
1 person likes this
@raijin (10373)
• Philippines
31 Jan 07
Yes, but if we know how to say it to them in a nice way, I think they wouldn't take it as an offense. We should be more open-minded and take this as a friendly advice and not to take it seriously. We should be all pessimistic and more humane when it comes to critisms.
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
31 Jan 07
I would have to agree with you its not right to make a person feel bad. I often think these thoughts but would never hurt someones feelings unless Im really close to a person and they wouldnt take it the wrong way.
• China
1 Feb 07
just honst is ok.
• China
1 Feb 07
just honesty is ok
• Pakistan
1 Feb 07
I agree with you... I also dont say at times when i think lets say the person is eatting too much and getting fat. So i dont tell him/her that because i might hurt his/her feelings...
@MAX1966 (1030)
• Netherlands
1 Feb 07
if my daughter is eating too much and is getting fat. i will tell her that! i think i should.
@jennifer611 (2502)
• United States
1 Feb 07
I agree with you. Its always been hard for me to open my mouth and tell anyone what I think about something if I think it might hurt them or make them mad at me. I am more of a keep it to myself and dont cause trouble kind of person. It takes alot to make me get to a point to where I will finally open my mouth if you have made me mad, but it takes a long time to get to that point because I just feel bad about hurting others..
@morfessa1 (190)
• Australia
1 Feb 07
Yeah we do alot of not telling what we think or feel so as to not hurt the other people. This gets annoying and frustrating sometimes though, depending on the subject, for us and for the other people involved.Then when you have to tell the truth, because if you dont you will be the one hurting or doing something you regret if you don't, it ends up hurting them more. Seems sometimes you can't win. Your damned if you and your damned if you don't.
@vivek6831 (211)
• India
1 Feb 07
MANY TIMES WE CANNOT SAY TO SOMEBODY WHICH WE WANT TO SAY IN OUR LIFE DUE TO SOME THINKING OF GETTING HURTED OTHER PERSON BUT THERE IS A RIGHT TIME WHEN THEY UNDERSTAND YOUR FEELINGS REALLY......
@Bhutto (742)
• India
1 Feb 07
Yes it is difficult to say some thing about others aperson may feel embrassed and may feel bad.very few people take things sportively.So we better keep it for our self.
@asim123 (30)
• Pakistan
1 Feb 07
yes, there are millions of peoples, who dont ever care for ohter feelings, & they never understand other's feelings, ever never, at all they are thoes peoples who realy are feeling less. they dont care, even for thier best friends, i don wana make friendship wiht these sort of peoples any more...they are just bullshit.. they never ever care, notting matters for them, even u do so much good to them. I think we should be stright & tell others what they have been cookin, but yes we should not insult some one & say bad of any one.
@junior07 (973)
• India
1 Feb 07
yaa u r right,if way say all the things what we thinks in our minds then it may hurt the feelings of other person.
• Philippines
1 Feb 07
You need to assess the situation before trashing anyone. You don't want yourself in a compromising situation, so think before you leap. Put yourself in someone else's shoe before letting the cat out the bag. You needn't act like one of the superheroes all the time.
@MAX1966 (1030)
• Netherlands
1 Feb 07
i would not say the truth,if i should hurt someone if i dont like a dress,i wont tell. but i will tell the truth if i would like someone else. that is hurting too,but then i will say what i really think or feel. i always tried to be honest,cause i just hate lying!
• Philippines
1 Feb 07
Simple things like that doesn't really need honesty sometimes, if you can't tell a lie then just keep your mouth shut. I sometimes keep things to myself, well because I know there's a difference between being honest and someone who's being too blunt.