Is it fair to friends with a person who you have romantic feelings for?

South Africa
January 31, 2007 8:15am CST
Heres a question that i believe has no simple answer. You have romantic feelings for a person, do you attempt to be that persons friend with the hope that further down the line that friendship will turn into more? Is it truly fair on the other person believing that you are friends only and then as friends you are inseperable and get jealous and irritated that your "friend" is going out with other friends which in essence really limits her possibility of finding happiness, because she does not wish to upset her you? is that fair either on her or on you?
1 person likes this
2 responses
@freesoul (3023)
• Egypt
31 Jan 07
I think it's an awkward situation .. I understand if someone is married or in long-term relation that you may want to be just friends without real hope in anything more, but if she is free then why not declare your emotions and see what she feels for you? If someone keeps a friendship relation as you described it, he will be just wasting time waiting for her to find someone else and his chance will be gone forever.. if the girl is not committed to someone else then better tell her what you really feel..
• South Africa
31 Jan 07
im in 100% agreement. but now you declare your feelings for your friend, it is not recipricated. your feeling for your friend is so strong you would rather be around them as just a friend than not have them in your life. whilst all the while harbouring feelings for your friend. i dont believe it to be so easy to fall in and out of love. is anyone experiencing this?
1 person likes this
@freesoul (3023)
• Egypt
4 Feb 07
I think her feelings would show, I mean if you are friends you can hint and send signals even jokingly and watch their effect, I was really never in the same situation and it's hard to tell, different people would behave differently.. I would want to make it obvious that i think of her as more than just a friend ..
@Anniedup (3652)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
9 Feb 07
As you just said. There is no easy answer here and I understand that you would rather just be friends then to loose your friend completely. The pain of loosing that person or not to see again, is a pain that you will have to decide and then stick to it and if you have decided to stay, that person's friend, be patient maybe one day that person will truly fall in love with your understanding and kindness Fellow South-African