Marriage after divorce?

@winky73 (1396)
United States
January 31, 2007 8:58am CST
I have noticed that a lot of people say they don't want to ever get married again after a divorce.I myself am about to get a divorce and I have to say that I want to get married again.Just because it didn't work out on the first one doesn't mean it might work on the second.I know people that have been married several times and they still would do it again.I guess it depends on the induvidual person and the their experiences.How do you feel?.....would you get married more than once.....or would you shy away from marriage after the first one failed.I would also like to know your reasoning behind the way you feel about this.
10 people like this
71 responses
@byfaithonly (10716)
• United States
31 Jan 07
I've been married before, divorced now, and yes I would marry again if I found the right person. That's the key though the right person - I've learned from my past mistakes and will use that information in the future. Oh, lets face it I'm so angry right now I don't know if I'll date again - just kidding, bad day, I know there are some good men out there SOMEPLACE!
@winky73 (1396)
• United States
31 Jan 07
It's just no use to be bitter about a failed marriage....the only thing you may achieve with that is that you may miss out on finding the right person.I've had those bad days....but then again who doesn't?
2 people like this
@rhinoboy (2129)
31 Jan 07
i think it would completely depend on whether I found anyone else I would want to marry. I could never imagine wanting to be with anyone but my wife. We discussed what we would do if the worst happened and one of us were widowed. I couldn't imagine even wanting to be with someone else, but i guess you never know until it happens.
4 people like this
@winky73 (1396)
• United States
31 Jan 07
Your are lucky to have each other and that you feel that way.Hopefully you will never have to find out what you would do.I wish you all the best!
2 people like this
• United States
31 Jan 07
I'd say it depends really on the person. I've never been married but I am soon. I hope I don't experience divorce. But really that's up to you. If you feel that you're ready to move on and have a new person-new marriage- go for it!
@winky73 (1396)
• United States
31 Jan 07
Thank's....I wish you the best of luck for your marriage!
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Jan 07
Thanks :)
1 person likes this
@elisa812 (3033)
• United States
31 Jan 07
I think you're right that it just depends on the individual. I definitely don't think there's anything wrong with getting remarried as long as you meet the right person. You'd just be more aware of what you want and don't want in a second marriage, so it seems like it would work out much better than the first probably. I've never been married before, but my fiance is divorced, and he can't wait to get married again. He's always told me how much happier he is now with this second relationship, so I definitely think if you find the right person, you should go for it! :)
3 people like this
@simplysue (631)
• United States
31 Jan 07
I was one of those people who would never get married again. Ten years later, I got married again. :) I think that we really don't know what we want directly after a divorse because you have a lot of healing to do before you get on with the rest of your life. Some people heal quickly, others take a long time. Some may never heal enough to trust a person enough to marry them. I guess it just depends on the person.
2 people like this
@winky73 (1396)
• United States
31 Jan 07
Very good answer....you are totally right on that one.
• Canada
31 Jan 07
I am not sure that if I got divorced that I would ever feel much like getting married again . I wouldn't want to go through all the hate and pain . I always say if I ever get divorced , I intend to split up with any guy I ever see that I start to have feelings for . Because I wouldn't want to find myself in the same situation I am now . Love causes to much pain and heartbreak and I feel their is only so much pain a person can handle in life .
2 people like this
@winky73 (1396)
• United States
31 Jan 07
The fear of being hurt is a big factor for a lot of people....but I'd rather risk getting hurt than missing out on another chance of being happy.If you are happy by yourself......more power to you...I just would hope that you'd be honest with a guy upfront about where you stand....they have feelings too.
• Grand Junction, Colorado
31 Jan 07
I have been married twice and divorced, I have to say at this point in my life absolutely not, ever again!!! I have a boyfriend now and we have been living together for a little over 5 years and as much as I love him, no way do I ever want to be married again. I'm not saying that their is anything wrong with getting married again, but for me I just have no desire.
@winky73 (1396)
• United States
31 Jan 07
You don't have to defend the way you feel.....I'm a firm believer in letting other people be themselfs and that sometimes means to disagree. Everybody is entiteld to their own opinion.
• United States
31 Jan 07
I have been married and divorced and now I am married again. After my divorce I took a look at what went wrong in my first marriage and not make the same mistakes. It took awhile before I remarried but now I am very happy and have been married for almost 13 years. It depends on the person and how their first marriage affected them, I believe. My current husband and I lived together for four years before we decided to marry.
2 people like this
@hottie0728 (1732)
• United States
1 Feb 07
I have nerver been married nor divorced but if ever I was...absolutely! I will get married again if I have found the right person. There's nothing wrong if I want to be happy. I also want to grow old with someone. I think 2 failed marriages would be enough for me. Goodluck!
@winky73 (1396)
• United States
1 Feb 07
Thank's!!!
@raven33 (70)
• United States
1 Feb 07
No. Honestly I am beginning to love being alone...and the funny thing is that I don't feel as alone (now that I really am alone)...as I did in my marriage. No one is picking at me 24/7, the only thing I have to worry about "running around" is the cat...and the only person I answer to now is myself.
@winky73 (1396)
• United States
1 Feb 07
As long as you are happy.....that's what matters.
@onesiobhan (1330)
• Canada
1 Feb 07
Me, I'm not going to get married the first time. Not because I don't love my partner or because I don't want commitment. Just because I don't think I want to go through the expense and legal hoops to prove something that I already have. I have no criticism of anybody who wants to go through the ritual, I just don't see the point. My relationship works or doesn't work with or without the ceremony, so I don't really see the point in it for myself.
1 person likes this
@winky73 (1396)
• United States
1 Feb 07
As long as both partners are okay with that....sure why not?!
@funnycole (392)
• United States
1 Feb 07
I've been married twice and sadly working on a second divorce. I really did not want the second divorce, but sometimes things just can't be exactly the way you want them. About getting married again, that is a no. I know never say never, but going through two divorces ages one soul tremendously and I can't imagine there is a whole lot of space left in my heart to tear apart.
1 person likes this
@winky73 (1396)
• United States
1 Feb 07
I know what you mean....seems like every realtionship we enter takes a little piece away from us.
• Egypt
1 Feb 07
The choices & desires may completely differ from the rights!!.
@winky73 (1396)
• United States
1 Feb 07
You are right....I guess it would depend on where you live and what your believes are.Good answer!
@applsofgld (2506)
• United States
1 Feb 07
I was married for about 24 yrs. and my husband left after my 2nd big surgery for my cancer. It was mutual, he was a jerk and I tolerated him until my kids were grown, they later told me they wished I'd of ended the marriage years before. I wanted more than anything in the world to know what it was like to really be in a loving relationship. I did finally marry again a couple of years after my divorce. Marriage for me is better the 2nd time around. My husband is my best friend, my world, my everything. My grown kids love him & respect him. I wish I could say the same for his teenage daughter. She has been a drama queen since way before I met her at 11. His grown daughter loves me though. I was told by family members that I should stay with my former husband b/c I had cancer & it would be hard for me to find someone to take on "my responsibility". I'm glad I didn't listen to that person. My current husband loves me and knew all about me before he fell in love with me. If something happens to this marriage, I can't say as I'd rush into another marriage. But I am a true romantic and I believe in the power of love. It keeps me going.
@winky73 (1396)
• United States
1 Feb 07
We all deserve a little happieness in our lives and sometimes that means taking that second chance with someone els.I'm glad you did and I wish you all the best for the future.
• United States
31 Jan 07
my husband and I have been through a lot together, and I love him dearly. I don't know how I would feel if we were to divorce, if I would want to put the effort into building another monumental relationship again. I hope we never seperate because of divorce, as we've always had a really good relationship and the ability to talk things through.
1 person likes this
@winky73 (1396)
• United States
1 Feb 07
That's wonderful.....some of us didn't get that lucky.But no hard feelings....I'm happy for you.
• United States
31 Jan 07
I married again after my divorce. My wife is a gem and she is my soul mate. You can find your true love after divorce ... trust me.
1 person likes this
@winky73 (1396)
• United States
1 Feb 07
Oh I believe you and what a sweet thing to say about your wife!
• United States
31 Jan 07
I myself is on the process of divorce, at first I told myself that I wont get married again, but later on I realize I am being too hard on myself. Life is so loney without having someone special. And I say yes, I will get married again, but because of the divorce I am having right now. I said to myself, I will marry again someday and I hope that will last for a lifetime if not, then there's always a divorce court. You can't stop dreaming of having a wonderful life with someone that is truly great with love. But until that comes along try and try until you find the right one, just make sure your heart is not that strain and hurt so every divorce that comes along wont make you better inside. It ussually changes us
1 person likes this
@winky73 (1396)
• United States
1 Feb 07
I know that I look at relationships differently now than what I did before....but I learned a lot and hopefully I won't make the same mistakes twice.I actually think this gives me a bit of an advantage to make it work the second time around.
• Canada
1 Feb 07
yes I MIGHT get married again if I could trust the person but I need to find the person first my last relaionship was a very bad one and yeah honestly I thought about marriage again but we did not get a chance to do it thank goodness....when the timing is right then it might happen again but for right now I am just looking for someone that I trust to date
1 person likes this
@Bhutto (742)
• India
1 Feb 07
It all depends on both of you.If there is no understanding it is point less to be together.Both partners shouls respect and get along well with some adjustments so that life is cool.
1 person likes this
@raj0019 (2627)
• Argentina
1 Feb 07
Statistics indicate that 50% of all first marriages fail, but are you aware the divorce rates of second marriages are estimated to be over 70%? There are many reason why a second marriage has a bigger risk of failure then the first. Often, divorced people remarry quickly and find themselves living with the rebound or transitional person. Sometimes, the second marriage was entered into for emotional or security reasons following a divorce. Many times during a second divorce a person will admit they remarried for the wrong reasons, or too quickly. It could be like riding a bike, once you know how to get a divorce you may never forget. Many other reasons are there, so i will never let my marriage break ever. Understanding is something that can save anyones married life.