love yourself or others first?

United States
January 31, 2007 9:53am CST
We have always been taught to put others' needs first before ours (well, at least in my Christian school). But what about this: How can you love another if you don't love yourself? It's just like saying that you cannot trust another if you don't know how to trust yourself. So, which do you think is better, putting your own interests first before others or putting others first (like self-sacrifice)?
4 people like this
13 responses
@naadia (830)
• India
11 Feb 07
i think first you love yourself then only you can love others.if you have no love with yourself that is you have no self respect,then you cant able to love others.this is true,so don't hate yourself...because none in this world are perfect!
@flasher (140)
• India
12 Feb 07
Ya you are right. I lov myself but i love my gf more than that.
@naadia (830)
• India
13 Feb 07
cool...you have a girl friend!please dont stop loving her!some misunderstanding may happen,but if you face such situation,just be cool and rethink!and what you gifting her on tomarrow,valentines day?
2 people like this
@SelfPost (23)
• United States
8 Feb 07
If you love yourself, it sounds sort of like the flower in the myth of "NARCISSIS". But really, it's difficult to love yourself, but better being loved by your grandparents and parents. When they love you, it is more natural that you will love your peers, and friends. It's very easy for you to "affectionate" someone else with the love that has been grown inside of you. But is very hard to love someone if , you've never experienced or hold the experience of love, like when you have been heart broken, it's hard to "fall in love" or show love to another person the same way. It's sort of like, "a fading phase". Upon experience, with friends, naturally I had love for almsot everyone. But until I grew up and started to date (starting in college) it was harder to love someone , because the person doesn't seem to have that same love feelings. They were "TOUGH to break through..", but also,.. other things. And to finally fall in love with a person, then having both hearts broken, is really difficult to mend, and takes time. Then to Love yourself first and most, is when you start to take notice, and make yourself look pretty, and it makes you feel really nice when others "glance" and notice you. * A smile keeps you young all the time. And crying make you look aged!
• United States
8 Feb 07
"NARCISSIS" is known to be a very pretty flower in myth days, but also "..Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder", .. and the same as ".. Beauty is skin-deep".
@mssnow (9493)
• United States
8 Feb 07
You must love your self first then you can love othrs. I love who I am and I love the fact I am he person I am. That makes me be able to accept others for who they are and love them too. If you dont like your self it is very hard to love other people. Because your finding fault in everything and evryone. Love your self then you will love othres.
2 people like this
• India
8 Feb 07
Only a peaceful person can love himself and others. Therefore people must learn to keep their cool and solve the problems efficiently. If they do this they will be satisfied with their way of life and will start to love themselves;then only they can love others!
2 people like this
@geejoy (344)
• Philippines
6 Feb 07
You have to value/love yourself first before you love others...this sentence doesnt mean that you have to be selfish..you have to love yourself enough for you to give some part of that love to others........knowing how to love, first yourself, will eventually guide you to value or love someone else...
2 people like this
@ronslove (481)
• Philippines
13 Feb 07
I think, you have to love yourself first. Because if you don't love yourself, how can you extend love to other people? Evrything should starts within yourself and since you have started it, then the next thing to do is to share that to other people. For me, Love and interest are two different things. Interest is a state of being affected by something in respect to advantage. The meaning seemed denote selfishness. Whereas, I define Love as an affectionate concern for the well-being of others. If one sacrifices for other person, he should also take time to ponder if his self-renunciation worth so much for the other people.
1 person likes this
@tetsero (24)
• United States
8 Feb 07
Love others first, because if you do that, then you will find that love will come to you by others. And the love others give you will be much more than the love you could ever give yourself.
1 person likes this
@bicklelady (1411)
• United States
8 Feb 07
I could not put that any better. I do put others first and that makes me feel good about myself and makes me love my self.
1 person likes this
@cheerldr (594)
• Philippines
8 Feb 07
I guess you should love yourself first before loving others. Loving yourself means appreciating the whole you as a person, if you love yourself, it'll be easy for you to love other person.
1 person likes this
• India
23 Feb 07
good thing. every one should learn this
@cdparazo (5768)
• Philippines
18 Feb 07
You have to love yourself first before you could love others. How could you love others when you dont even know how to love yourself? and when you love others you give so much of yourself and if the 'self' that you are supposed to give to others is unloved then you dont really love others bec you are giving them less of yourself.
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
18 Feb 07
I do find it difficult to love myself because I am very pessimistic and I also have very low self-esteem, although I am strong, muscular and do a lot of weight lifting, I look strong on the outside, but inside I am not, that is why I don't go for relationships because they don't work and I don't feel confident enough to go into them, for fear of rejection etc... It's best to be self-centred rather than selfish. I do like my own company however and I do prefer to spend my time alone than with others.
@greengal (4286)
• United States
16 Feb 07
Hmm that makes sense, we should love ourselves first to be able to love others. But at the same time we should think about others needs first before ours. That is service above self.