Do you hate it when people bring up your ex in front of your current love?

United States
January 31, 2007 3:14pm CST
I have had a discussion about this with my friends recently and it prompted me to post it here. My son's father and I broke up over a year ago. He is not in my life and I don't ever hear from him. He chooses not to be a part of my life of my son's life. So, I just let it go and tried to move on with my life. I am with someone new now. He is amazing! He has to be the nicest person I have ever been with. I love him with all my heart. I introduced him to my friends the other day, and they kept bringing up my ex boyfriends every five minutes! I could see that it upset him, so I kept changing the subect. He told me that night that it bothered him that they were so hung up on my exes and that he did not want to hear about them. I agreed with him, because I don't want to hear about them either. What do you guys think? Does it bother you or do you just not care?
9 responses
31 Jan 07
I am really close friends with my ex's 2 sisters, I was with him for 4 yrs. They come over to my house and my husband really likes them, but it is awkward when they bring up my ex. This summer we went to one of the sisters houses to go swimming and when we pulled up I saw my exes SUV in the driveway. I told my husband he was there and he said it's ok with me if you are ok with it. My ex and I actually sat and talked while my husband and everyone else was in the pool. I think it's more awkward when any of my other exes are mentioned than it is with that one. It's a whole lot worse though when anyone mentions things that went on while I was with my ex.
• United States
31 Jan 07
Thanks for sharing! I'm glad that you and your ex were able to have a civil conversation! And your husband seems like a really nice guy! For him to be so cool about it, he truly is a gem =)
• Morocco
8 Feb 07
yeah for sure i hate it!! because i know after that i will have a lot of problmes that can hurt!! and its not really good
• United States
8 Feb 07
It all depends on how it gets brought up. Generally it doesn't bother me because my ex is my past and it shouldn't matter to my new partner.
• United States
7 Feb 07
I think its pretty cool that they put in the effort to remember previous connections I may have had/ have memories of me in a different context.
@guito2005 (177)
• Portugal
6 Feb 07
it bother me too, expecialy if if they spoke on his in a gentle way, like "i still like" or when is a friend "you know they still like each other"
• United States
6 Feb 07
I'm thinking that maybe these friends don't know what else to talk about, & sometimes changing the subject does not give them a hint. Did you try politely saying anything? Maybe saying something like, "If you are truly a friend, I don't want to hear anything about him again" when each one is brought up. If that doesn't work, you can just throw your arms up in the air & scream, "STOP OPENING UP OLD WOUNDS!" If you can think very fast, here's something insulting you can do to piss people off to get them to stop. Maybe every time someone says something about a certain ex, think of something very negative about the ex that was brought up, & then say to that friend who brought it up, "And you are too for mentioning him".
@merkava (1225)
• Philippines
3 Feb 07
Those things can't be avoided. After all, were only human. All of us make mistakes. I think it's kinda tactless the way they bring up that topic, it makes you feel off guard. What's important is how well will you deal with the situation? Will you get angry and give them the satisfaction of making you mad? Or will you open up and just let them know what they need to know?
• United States
1 Feb 07
well, over the summer i went to a carnival with a group of friends and my boyfriend of almost 4 years. my one really good friend i consider family is also close friends with my ex, and i hadnt hung out with this friend for about 3 years (i moved). so, as i was walking around with my friend and my boyfriend was talking to a friend of his, i spotted my ex and i was like, oh no. my friend dragged me over to him and started talking to him while i stood there. finally, my ex realized i was standing there, and started talking to me a little, and when i brought up my new boyfriend he didnt believe i had one, saying "oh, you said you would never get over me and you would always love me!" and then my boyfriend came up to me, and my ex got all nervous and tried to shake his hand. my boyfriend refused though. that was really awkward, lol. even sometimes certain friends bring up my ex in front of my now boyfriend, i just tell them "the past is the past". it doesnt really bother me.
@xxx737 (72)
• Philippines
1 Feb 07
Most of the guys do. I'm a man, and It'll bother me. It's like you are seeing things you don't want, how can you get along with the topic like that. It'll sucked you dry. Try to bring him to places and things you like both. Not bring boyfriends/girlfriends to things you already have gotten. No matter how you pretend it that it didn't happen, it'll only feel you no good.