Here's some jokes to start your day LOL.

@stephcjh (32327)
United States
February 1, 2007 8:21am CST
1. How do you get holy water? Answer: you boil the hell out of it. 2. What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall? Answer: Damn! 3. What do eskimos get when the sit on the ice too long? Answer: polaroids 4. What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Answer: nacho cheese 5. What do you call 4 bullriders in quicksand? Answer: quatro sinko 6. What do you get from a papmpered cow? Answer: spoiled milk 7. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Answer: frostbite 8. What lays at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? Answer: a nervous ship wreck 9. What is the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Answer: anyone can roast beef 10. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed
13 people like this
53 responses
@yanjiaren (9050)
1 Feb 07
hehhee that did make my day..you don't want me to tell you the one about loo roll and the greek bus dfo you hehehee..my mum ..she is terrible she has a mouth like a sesspit..i can't match her lol..have a great one!!
2 people like this
@stephcjh (32327)
• United States
1 Feb 07
Thanks. You too. I thought it may help break some ice here. I hope you have a nice day too.
1 person likes this
@rushmee (605)
• India
1 Feb 07
made my day to. all moms are alike dear. and the questions that we have to answer are too muheavy for me so many times
1 person likes this
• Italy
1 Feb 07
ahahaha really?
1 person likes this
@Justme2007 (1848)
• United States
1 Feb 07
Thank you for making my day this gave me a good laugh.
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32327)
• United States
2 Feb 07
Your welcome. I thought it would be nice to give some of us a laugh for a change.
@vedchugh (121)
• India
1 Feb 07
these are nothing but pjjjjjjjjjjj
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32327)
• United States
2 Feb 07
I'm not sure what pjjjjjjjjj is. Can you explain please?
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Feb 07
lol i dont think that i had yet to smile today and then i came across this posting. you made my day and then i read them to my grouchy pants mother ( lol shes having a bad day) and she lauhged! thank you!
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32327)
• United States
2 Feb 07
Your welcome. We get so wrapped up in our daily lives and stress and work, we hardly ever have time to laugh. I came across these jokes and thought I would share them. Good luck and have a great day.
@weemam (13377)
1 Feb 07
Thanks for the laugh , cheered me up xx
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32327)
• United States
1 Feb 07
You are very welcome. It is a change from the norm we mostly see on mylot and you get to laugh. Have a great day.
1 Feb 07
So funny! thanks for sharing.
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32327)
• United States
1 Feb 07
LOL. Your welcome. Every one needs a laugh or two every now and then.
@cassidy22 (2975)
• United States
18 Feb 07
I thought the answer to number 10 was BOB :)
1 person likes this
@huanghaozi (1474)
• Egypt
18 Feb 07
And the Lord spoke to Noah and said: "In six months I'm going to make it rain until the whole earth is covered with water and all the evil people are destroyed. But I want to save a few good people, and two of every kind of living thing on the planet. I am ordering you to build an Ark." And in a flash of lightning he delivered the specifications for an Ark. "OK," said Noah, trembling in fear and fumbling with the blueprints. "Six months, and it starts to rain," thundered the Lord. "You'd better have my Ark completed, or learn how to swim for a very long time." And six months passed. The skies began to cloud up and rain began to fall. The Lord saw that Noah was sitting in his front yard, weeping. And there was no Ark. "Noah," shouted the Lord, "Were is my Ark?" A lightning bolt crashed into the ground next to Noah. "Lord, please forgive me!" begged Noah. "I did my best. But there were big problems. First I had to get a building permit for the Ark construction project, and your plans didn't meet code. So I had to hire an engineer to redraw the plans. Then I got into a big fight over whether or not the Ark needed a fire sprinkler system. My neighbors objected, claiming I was violating zoning by building the Ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from the city planning commission. Then I had a big problem getting enough wood for the Ark because there was a ban on cutting trees to save the Spotted Owl. I had to convince U.S. Fish and Wildlife that I needed the wood to save the owls. But they wouldn't let me catch any owls. So no owls. Then the carpenters formed a union and went out on strike. I had to negotiate a settlement with the National Labor Relations Board before anyone would pick up a saw or a hammer. Now we have 16 carpenters going on the boat, and still no owls. Then I started gathering up animals, and got sued by an animal rights group. They objected to me taking only two of each kind. Just when I got the suit dismissed, EPA notified me that I couldn't complete the Ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your proposed flood. They didn't take kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of a Supreme Being. Then the Army Corps of Engineers wanted a map of the proposed new flood plain. I sent them a globe. Right now I'm still trying to resolve a complaint from the Equal Employment opportunity Commission over how many Croatians I'm supposed to hire, the IRS has seized all my assets claiming I'm trying to avoid paying taxes by leaving the country, and I just got a notice from the state about owing some kind of use tax. I really don't think I can finish your Ark for at least another five years," Noah wailed. The sky began to clear. The sun began to shine. A rainbow arched across the sky. Noah looked up and smiled. "You mean you're not going to destroy the earth?" Noah asked, hopefully. "No," said the Lord sadly, "Government already has."
1 person likes this
@weemam (13377)
8 Feb 07
Thanks for the laugh steph I needed that , only problem is they say laugh and grow fat lol xxx
1 person likes this
@dihearted (2688)
• India
8 Feb 07
thanx for all them them dude... all of them were koolll..
• United States
8 Feb 07
made my day thanks
1 person likes this
@meoasis (721)
• Nepal
22 Mar 07
very funny keep it up
@rlshaw (872)
• United States
22 Mar 07
I really need a good laugh to start my day off... It feels like its going to be along one
@aretha (2538)
• United States
22 Mar 07
hehehe they are cute thanks for sharing them with us.
@Lydia1901 (16354)
• United States
21 Mar 07
Those are just hilarous. Thank you for the laugh. They are just something else.
• United States
8 Feb 07
O my Goodness that was cute! Thanks for the uplifting post! Things are too serious around here sometimes and I needed a break from it for a while Thanks again! C
• United States
2 Feb 07
Why do cows wear bells? Answer: Because their horns don't work!
@klystron635 (1520)
• Philippines
2 Feb 07
Those were pretty funny jokes but there are some jokes that I don't get. Am I that slow or I just can't really get it. Anyways it's hard to make a person laugh and it seems to me that you did a good job. Hope you post more jokes.
• India
2 Feb 07
cool joke :- once there were 4 people travelling in a plane(3 people and 1 piolet). suddenly some problem arouse in plane . piolet said that now plane can resist only 3 people in it. so piolet said that out of those 3 people one will have to jump. but at last those 3 people picked the piolet and thew him down from plane.hhhhaaaaaa
@arpitk (47)
• India
2 Feb 07
they made me laugh thanks