advice on how to deal!

United States
February 1, 2007 2:55pm CST
Ok I need some advice, I had a friend, that well I thought was a friend that backstabbed and lied about me,and we are in the same community. So I no longer talk to her or her two sidekicks, who enjoyed calling me names and making remarks that hurt my daughter. How does one get over the pain? I WILL never befriend them again, nor trust them- and I turn the other cheek but its hard. I confronted one and we exchanged a few words, none really bad, and she said she wouldnt bad talk me anymore. Now of course, she is telling everyone that I and some friends are hacking into her myspace account! Umm,I dont even know how to do that, and I was hacked into as well as others. Can anyone give me any good advice to heal from the tears and pain they've caused?
8 people like this
29 responses
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
1 Feb 07
When you get hurt by people u trust and love it is hard to go on. I mean - I have been hurt and so has all people or will.. but the hurt really hurts. I guess u just have to try and see that u are above them and will not sink to their level with bad talking and stuff. In the end u will be the one left standing straight,
2 people like this
@rushmee (605)
• India
1 Feb 07
i truely agree with what you just said. he must follow your advice to solve the situation in the best way
• United States
2 Feb 07
MOVE ON, you still have memories of it, just let them loose and shake dem off
1 person likes this
@Bangalorean (1283)
• India
2 Feb 07
Look it you feel that soemone has let you down then why do you worry and keep thinking of him/her, just take it lightly and live your life to the fullest.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Feb 07
I would suggest you just make new friends and choose your friends next time. There's nothing you can do with what happened in the past. Time will heal all the wounds and the hurt. Have fun, life is too short to worry about non-sense.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Feb 07
First of all, don't cry or feel pain over someone treating you like dirt. They are not worth it. You know what type of person you are and that's all that matters. I would ignore them or stop all gossip. Gossip might hurt. Try to act like you never knew these people. Show them how strong you are all by yourself.
1 person likes this
@vanities (11351)
• Davao, Philippines
2 Feb 07
well you have really friends who are nasty...you really cant avoid such kind of people....unless you gonna ignore them and moved on to another set of friends...why be sad ?? all the backfighting and all will come back to them pretty soon dont worry, and think about them...have fun with others...
• Nigeria
2 Feb 07
Hello Lush,what i advice you to do is just to keep your fingers cross,since you did not do what they claim you did.If any of them choose to have a words with you,just walk away,i know is not easy but thats the best for now.Say your prayers and you would see what would happen.
• India
1 Feb 07
politician - Politicians do some great good things to real life peoples.
Everyone have some bad experience in their life that may be so much painful. To forget it we should make some outing to the place where we love a lot and also we should make the trip with the person who is most loveable to us. Then surely we will come out of the problem in short duration of period.
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Feb 07
People can be so cruel at times! I'm so sorry to hear that you have had problems with your friends. You should be grateful that they are out of your life. I know it hurts now, but they were never truly your friends. True friends dont't talk behind each other's back whenever an argument happens. I'm sure you'll make many more friends that will enrich your life rather than drain you. Cheer up, you deserve so much better.
1 person likes this
@rodnic12 (129)
• United States
1 Feb 07
Were I'm from these kind of people are everywhere. I dealt with something a little deeper, where a female said that I beat her. Know you talk about turning the other cheek. This was hard I had problems all over the place, but what made me angry was that it was a lie and it was nothing I could do about it unless I had proof. I was suggest that you try not to think about it, or maybe be able to talk to them as time pass. Just be strong and stay focus on how you can better your life. In my situation I was able to get her on the phone and record the whole conversation and finally let the school hear it to clear my name. But just pray for people that act like that. And forgive them. It sound hard but you will let it go after awhile and they will to.
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Feb 07
My best advice is try to avoid them as much as possible. I know you are very hurt but after awhile things will look up for you. Its all about timing. I have had plenty of occasions where I have been so hurt I thought that I would NEVER get over it. In time I did :) Best wishes!
@lols189 (4798)
1 Feb 07
i just ignore people like that as it has happened 2 many times 2 me. i aint got time 4 timewasters and backstabbers, i dislike them
1 person likes this
• Australia
1 Feb 07
Im so sorry that this happen to you. First, to heal the pain you need to learn to forgive and forget. You are the only one feeling the pain and hurting, and your friend is not feeling your hatred toward her, she is not hurt nor feeling any pain. So if you hold the grudge it is only you who will be disbenefit. True, what your friend has done has hurt you and it is a wrong thing for her to do. What I suggest you to do is to get other friends, and to not trust this one anymore, consult how you are feelings with other friends in the community, this is done not so that others will back you up and hate this person, no, but instead in a community, every one needs to support each others. But most important forgive her. Just like the Lord said, "God forgive them, because they do not know what they are doing". Good luck
• United States
2 Feb 07
thanks so much! Your words were so encouraging!
• United States
2 Feb 07
I am so sorry that they hurt you so much. It will take time until the deep pain will soften a little. You may not get over it completely. I hope that soon you will make new friends, so that you will not have all your energy thinking of people that do not deserve your friendship. Good luck dear, get out and try to find nicer people to become friends with. Perhaps at a place of worship, or here on MyLot. Some great people here.
@nithyas1 (97)
• India
2 Feb 07
Don't worry lush! all thing will get diminished as time goes on. Personally, I've also faced a number of backstabbings like these and situations like you have faced. You need not justify yourself or the truth to everyone. Everyone will come to know about the truth someday or the other! Truth never fails , though it may look as if you are being backstabbed severely. Thousands people may say 1000 things. Dont' give ear to others' comments!! Time will solve all the problems and tear the masks of the backstabbing people!! cheers nithya
@kareng (7986)
• United States
2 Feb 07
Well those kind of people shouldn't be considered friends...they are witches! I would keep my distance from them in the future, forget them. Try to keep your kids away from their kids. They evidently do not have anything constructive to do other than try to bring others down. And remember this...what goes around, comes around! Their day is coming soon!
@merkava (1226)
• Philippines
2 Feb 07
Find better friends. You may think that's hard but it's a lot easier than you think. I have the same case as yours although I'm certainly going to loose, me and average joe up against the wrath of the girl is the crush of our HS campus. Whom do you think the public will believe? Me, or the beauty queen?! I lost my pride when I was courting that girl but when she made me her enemy I made it a rule that if she crossed the line and tarnished/trampled on my integrity then it's no holds barred!! I'm gonna expose her for the plastic person she is. What I hated about her is that she puts up this goody-goody image about herself so people will have the notion that she's almost perfect but behind closed doors her horns come out. She has bad vices, she smokes, she lies, she cheats on people, she's vain and she only hangs out with the "elite" crowd. She probably just took pity on me since I was spending cash on her during my courtship.
@Petrakkos (312)
• Cyprus
2 Feb 07
TRY TO TALK TO THIS PERSON AND SAY EVERYTHING YOU KNOW-IF THERE IS NO RESULT AND SHE PERSISTS ON THAT BAD BEHAVIOUR DO NOT CRY OR TALK TO HER AGAIN
• Philippines
2 Feb 07
In your problem, do what you want to do, just make sure that you cant hurt anyone else again. Just don't give care on the things they do. Time may come that dhe would be tirec of doing that thing to you..But you know what, Everybody deserves a second chance. time will come also that you would realize that you need them and they need you to.
@hopefoo (1145)
• Malaysia
2 Feb 07
Well, I'll just say what others have said to you already. Stop hanging out with them, start hanging out with better people. Women. Pft. I used to go through those kinda things in high school. Not anymore, thank goodness. Don't give up though, not everyone's like that yeah? When I talk to new people, I instantly like those that either disagree with me or have the guts to tell me that I'm wrong, instead of just nodding. I take insults really well, but I can also make a good comeback. I generally think that people that voice their opinion in your face will never backstab you. They have guts to tell it to u.